Sorry if this is a silly question. Not really sure how to phrase this, but I'll try my best.

I know I have 'more active' alts, who come out most often, who are the most vocal. I keep a journal that sometimes they write in... communication isn't great but I'm not in therapy for DID so it's the best I have right now.

But sometimes those alts, they refer to other ones I have never heard of... which really confuses me. The other ones have names and everything, but they don't write, I can never hear them or anything, but they're mentioned a lot.

I've tried writing in the journal myself who are they, and tried asking, but I don't get answers, and if I do, it's just a basic answer, repeating their name. I was thinking of trying to make a list or something

And the more active ones... they don't really listen to me that much and I'm not really sure how to get them to listen... I still often get referred to by my old name by them and just something as simple as that I can't seem to get them to change.

Opinions or anything would be appreciated, once again sorry if this is a silly question... may be diagnosed with DID but that doesn't mean I'm very clued in.

[onlymedid]

Can you ask the more active ones about the ones you don't know about? I have one that won't speak to anyone except Beau. So I ask Beau about that one and that was how I learned her name.
If you have a hard time getting them to listen to you, maybe you could try to make a game of it somehow. I'm not sure how, but let me think about it and I will let you know if I think of anything.
I just want you to know that you are not alone and that is not a silly question.



BJ

[serafim_etal]

Mybe try more specific questions in the journal. Like, if you ask "who is John?" and get "John" as an answer...try "how old is john?" "What does John like to do?", etc.

As for getting them to listen...I've been in T for DID for 6 years and it seems like they are only recently started listening to me. However, it turns out that the listening problem was two-ways...I wasn't listening to them either.

[wanttoheal]

I don't think it's a silly question. This all takes time. Try to be patient. As the brain gets stronger and able to cope, you will learn more about what you need to learn.

Thats great that you are journaling. You will learn a lot that way. I think it's an excellent idea to ask specific questions too. If you don't get the answers you are seeking right away, just be patient. It might be that you are not ready for the answers. Our brains are designed to keep us safe.

Take care.

The idea of a game sounds interesting... maybe a 'Simon says' type game? I'll see if I can think of anything.

I guess I'm probably not a brilliant listener either Sometimes it's hard to listen, or hear things you don't want to hear, it's still so hard to understand. I'll try being more specific and seeing if I get any answers, thanks.

Hopefully journaling will work better soon, it's still a pretty new concept, and more often the littles prefer to draw in it then write. I'm kind of throwing the idea of therapy for DID around but I'm kind of scared of that.

Thank you for the help everyone.

Er, hope you guys don't mind if I ask another question

Does it help to "map" out your system? To maybe make a list or something so you can see if everyone is there?

Okay... two questions actually. I know some people who have their own name, and but a name for their system. Not sure how to phrase the question, but how many people here have done that?

Thanks in advance. Sorry to ask some more

[dinosaurs]

even if i can't talk to a part, i find it helps just to nice things for them, let them know i care, let them know they are not alone. like we bought a little butterfly broach for one part that has special meaning to remind her she's not alone. we also let another part have time to write a poem about something she cared about and then listen to what the poem had to say. just stuff like that. helps builds up trust. it's a slow process.

i haven't written out a map before, but i do try to understand what parts i am aware of and what they are like and how they fit together. i am still finding more parts though. i have some denial problems and i think seeing them all written down together would cause a lot of upset.

the naming question is hard for me to answer.

[Kiya]

i have done several mapping excercises - and they change each time as i become more aware of just how complex this system is. i am starting to understand that what i (or they) went through was no small thing and that even though i may be the "person up in front" they do not necessarly want me to know everything (or think i need to know). Some (i have heard them say internally) say it would bring down the system for me to know too soon. So i have to be patient and trust that when (if ) the time is right, I will know.

[wanttoheal]

Hi Griffe,
I have not mapped out my system, but T and I are aware of some parts, she more than me. To be honest, like dinosaurs, I think it would cause a lot of upset here as well. It's pretty overwhelming whenever I find another part. I generally find things out from T and if I find out things myself, I'm apt to write it down and ignore it and deny it until T and I can work through it. I think I am resistant DID lol

One thing we have found is that while it appears parts of me have names, they (I) don't reveal a lot of information in general and names are a big thing. That secretiveness is what keeps us safe, even if it's not always needed now. T said that parts of me seem to have knowledge that there is a name for the body (birth name as far as I know) but some will swear they are a different name. It's confusing for me because I have amnestic barriers between the parts of me and so most knowledge I receive is from T.

Like Kiya said, when it's time, the brain will let us know.

It's good you are asking. That's how the healing starts, imo.