[lashaine]

I FOUND OUT 6 MONTHS AGO THAT I WAS DID. WHILE I WAS VISITING HOME ONE OF MY PERSONALITIES CAME OUT. MY FAMILY DIDN'T KNOW UNTIL THIS HAPPENED. MY MOM TOLD ME I WAS TELLING A LIE AND MY SISTER AND DAD WON'T TALK TO ME. WHEN I WAS YOUNGER A COUNSELOR GAVE ME A PSYCOLOGICAL TEST. WHEN SHE LOOKED AT IT SHE TOLD ME THAT I COULDN'T BE THAT SICK. SO SHE MADE ME TAKE IT OVER AND I LIED ON IT. YEAR LATER THEY GAVE ME ANOTHER ONE AND ONCE AGAIN I WAS TOLD I COULDN'T BE THAT SICK. SO ONCE AGAIN I LIED. MY MOM HAS TOLD ME SHE HAS NEVER SEEN ANYTHING IN ME TO SUGGEST THAT I SUFFERED FROM DID. SHE WOULDN'T KNOW BECAUSE GROWING UP SHE WAS INTO MY SISTER AND HER PROBLEMS. I HAD PEOPLE TELL ME IN HIGH SCHOOL THAT I WOULD SAY THAT I WAS SOMEONE OTHER THAN MYSELF. AS TIME WENT ON I FOUND NOTES LEFT FOR ME FROM MY PERSONALITIES. I GUESS WHAT I AM TRYING TO ASK IS HOW DO I LIVE WITH MY FAMILY WHO DOESN'T WANT TO FACE THE TRUTH AND AM I ALONE. I WOULD APPRECIATE ANY ADVICE .

[wanttoheal]

Hi Lashaine,
Welcome to Psych Central. Do you still physically live with your family? Do you have a therapist? I have found for me that having a therapist has been essential in the progress I've made. I'm sorry they are not supportive. It's nice to have you here.

[kimmydawn]

I hope you're seeing a good therapist and I'm so sorry for your family's reactions. Most families don't want to accept it because they feel (or actually do) they need to claim responsibility.

You will have lots of support and understanding here, and hopefully with your mental health experts, and I would stick very close to those who do understand or that I can trust.

Good luck, hon, and welcome.

KD

[lashaine]

Thanks for the warm welcomes. I do not live with my family. I am married and live with my husband in Missouri. I have the most awesome counselor and my husband has been great. He reads everything he can on DID. I just wish that my family understood.

[bipolar_bear]

Welcome to PC and the forum. I am so glad that you have a good counselor and your husband is supportive. You have found a place here where people will understand and help support you too.

BB

[lashaine]

Thanks so much. I'm so glad that I found people who understands!

[multipixie9]

lashaine,

I've heard most with DID go through years of misdiagnosis and misunderstandings with people. So it sounds like you are right on track. I got several other diagnosis before a counselor recognized the truth about me.

My mom died before I found out about my DID. I doubt she would have believed it. Sadly, my husband of 28 years REFUSES to admit the possbility of DID. Both my daughters believe me and say they saw different "me's" before we ever heard this diagnosis.

lashaine - the most important belief is YOUR OWN. You can't force other's to believe you. sometimes even you won't believe yourself. I have alters who's job was to deny reality about the dissociation. It gets pretty wacky - but it just is what it is! If you wait for your family to support you - you may never get what you really need. Let them deny, if they must, but you go on and do what is right for you and for all the parts who have helped you survive such deep pain and abuse.

Spend time learning about what DID is and isn't and let others encourage you. Avoid toxic people and seek to be with accepting and kind people, like those on here. Validate your search for wholeness and make healing a priority in your life.

I did things that slowed down or hindered my healing from the past. I denied the DID for a long time and I was mean to many of my alters. I made it harder on me than it had to be by my unwillingness to accept the ugly truths about my abuse history and past. When I was mean to my alters they sabotaged my counseling and efforts to "get better". I'm learning to be kind to myself on all levels - we all matter in my system.

Welcome to PsychCentral - I hope you find lots of encouragement and inspiration here. There are kind and good people in this forum.

Hugs from Leslie and her Pixies (PS I believe You)

[lashaine]

Thanks for the advice. You and everyone has been so kind. I know what you're talking about when you say that your alters sabotages. I have one alter and she is one more thing. She has gotten me into trouble and she is very loud and clear. She lets everyone know what she thinks and she isn't shy about it. She is the one who sabotages.

I am dealing with my DID and I realize that my family isn't going to come around. I know that when I was a teenager and we went to couselin, which was for my Mom, the counselor always sided with my parents. She didn't help me what so ever. And through the years my Mom has told me she wasn't going to feel guilty about me getting sexually abused.

I have also come to the conculsion that I am not going to let my family put me down anymore. If they start talking to me about it, I'm just going to tell them that I am not at liberty to talk about it. Because I know if it starts then a fight is going to start and that's when my alter who is my protecter comes out. And it's not a good thing because she is so mean. I am glad that my husband is standing by me and that means alot!

[JudeeB]

My policy has become; "Avoid unsafe people."

ANYONE who thinks I am a liar, crazy, making things up, or refuses to treat me with respect isn't a safe person.

It's OK to back off from our family or other unsafe people.

I refuse to play the 'everything is fine' game with them.

I refuse to spend all the energy it would take to be near them or to try not be triggered by their insensitive remarks. To force myself to be around them would be a form of self-abuse. I don't do that to myself anymore!

So I have nothing to suggest about trying to engage with them because I just wouldn't do it.

Thank you for sharing this with the group. We do understand how hard that must be.

Judee