[jeNeTeConnaisPas]

I already have posted a question on the ask page here... So sorry if this seems repetative. But I'm scared for others and my life, because of my voilent alter.

I called an agency requesting a therapist well versed in DID treatment, and I'm seeing my case manager today... But I was just recently diagnosed, and before, no one would listen to anything I said about having alters. >< It's a very distressing thing most of the time, but it gets terrifying when this homicidal alter comes out. I don't know what he will do or when. I'm only LUCKY I haven't had the police called on me, or been put in jail for the things he has done.

I'm constantly afraid, I never used to do anything, not even smoke a cigarette, (until one of my alters decided he wanted to be "cool" and smoke), but recently I've been smoking a lot of pot to sedate me.

I take prozac and that helps anxiety, but it obviously doesnt control when or which alter will come out at any given time.

I've been loosing time for about 3 years now? And I've had these alters since I was a child. So I've learned to deal with it the best I can on my own. But things are going to far, and I'm scared.

I don't want to be afraid anymore, and I don't want to keep smoking pot. I'm afraid of becoming a drug addict out of my own fear of myself. And that would be the worst thing.

Anyone have any ideas? -J'ne te connais pas -

[JudeeB]

I hope they can find a therapist who can help you. This is always such a complicated issue.

I understand your fears and so glad you found this safe place to share. You are not alone. I don't care what any books say, this is not as rare as they would like to imagine. We are out here and we all need help.

Welcome,
Judy and Company

[multipixie9]

JNTCP,

I'm glad you've come here, there's good folks here who will encourage you. I'm pretty new here myself and the issues you mention are extremely serious. There's no way I'm qualified to advise you on such things.

Working to get a therapist is really good and doing anything you can to keep you and your alts safe is so important. You are headed in the right direction.

Can you talk to your alts and be heard??? It sounds like some of the ones inside need to know how their risky behavior can backfire on everyone.

Continue to pursue getting a therapist who understands DID issues, some-times it takes a while to get a good "fit" in a T. Sorry, I can't think of anything more to offer. I've got plenty of issues to solve in my life as well.

[jeNeTeConnaisPas]

Originally Posted by multipixie9

JNTCP,

Can you talk to your alts and be heard??? It sounds like some of the ones inside need to know how their risky behavior can backfire on everyone.

Continue to pursue getting a therapist who understands DID issues, some-times it takes a while to get a good "fit" in a T. Sorry, I can't think of anything more to offer. I've got plenty of issues to solve in my life as well.

Some of them I can talk to, but I have so many that I don't know about, but the things that happen arent congruent with the ones i know of... But the homicidal one I can talk to but doesnt KNOW he's an alter. He thinks he's hearing voices.

And I made some calls and I am looking for a good therapist.

Thankyou for listening, I just don't want the world thinking im crazy or dangerous as I may come across. I'm just very different.

<3 J'Ne te connais pas

[wanttoheal]

(((((((((((((((((((jeNeTeConnaisPas)))))))))))))
Welcome to Psych Central!

I understand your concerns. There is a very angry part(s) here as well. Thankfully my T has experience in dealing with this. Hopefully you can find a good T that will know how to deal with this too.

There are reasons for parts of us to be angry. It's perfectly understandable. With good therapy and support, that part (whether or not they understand DID) can get the help they so need.

Good luck with this. Please keep us posted.

[bipolar_bear]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((jeNeTeConnaisPas)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Exteme anger is so understandable. I hope you can get in to find some support so this alter can be heard and come to understand this rage and deal with it constructively rather than by acting out in any destructive manner. It can be so scary though as sometimes it feels that it is so out of control. Everyone is responsible for thier actions including him. Hopefully he understands this.

Everyone is unique and you are not crazy. Please try and understand that as it may relieve some of the pain and fear you are experiencing.

Take care and I hope you find that therapist quickly.

BB

[iamtwilight]

(((jeneteconnaispas))) - i don't know you either, at least yet, but i hope i will. =) you have found a great place, welcome to PC!

i also had a fairly dangerous alter but she is currently dormant... very weird. i thought we had integrated... with the "integration" she decreased the amount these dangerous activities and i was aware of them, and thought she was on her way to recovery... but now i'm not so sure.

i hope you will find a therapist - that will help you a lot. i don't have a therapist but i read self-help books and those are also very helpful. there are a lot of books about DID nowadays.. some quite controversial though.

also, you may feel crazy - but that may not be the truth =) (being DID is not crazy - it's just something that happens when things are made very rough for a child)