Understanding inside

For so long now i thought that when my T said inergration that meant getting rid of the others. Inside i could fell the madness swelling up with them because they are the reason i survived all those years. Then just recently I began thinking on this. Intergration is not at all getting rid of them but getting everyone working together to form one whole. Does this make any sense and have my thoughts on this came out correctly?

Many times my alts misunderstood integration and thought they would die or thought I wanted to "get rid" of them.

That is completely false. Integration is blending together all that is in each seperated part. It is allowing all the great qualities of each to become available to the whole and to bond together so that all may share a fuller life and more complete personhood.

Many alters need strong reassurance that they are not being cast aside or abandoned by the person they have been helping for such a long time. We need to respect and honor our alters for bringing their strength to help and protect us.
When they know we are blending together, not discarding parts they will feel safer and more valued for their help.

Without my alters I probably would have tried harder to suicide out and that would have been a tragic waste of the life God gave me. Hope this helps a little.

leslie and her pixies

I have just come to this realization myself. I was so angry at my parts and what they did that I could only think of tearing them out in an angry fit. Just about a month ago my, my T asked me to be kind to them and to try to understand what they wanted. This is helping to comfort and quiet them. They kept me alive for decades. I'm learning to understand and comfort them and the struggle has eased a bit. Your post was nicely and clearly stated. And it's comforting to know I'm not alone in this pain. Thanks.

Hi (((((((((((BeckyC))))))))))))))) Welcome here.

My T and I have had this discussion and depending on the moment, I have in the past been all about just making parts disappear and then have turned around to no wait, I don't want to not dissociate because life is too hard. And phew, do I understand the anger bubbling up inside. In the beginning, I was never sure what caused it but as I become more aware, I've been able to pay more attention to what I am saying or doing that might be triggering to another part of my brain. T said all the parts of my brain were/are needed and our goal is to get every part working in harmony with communication. Sounds like trying to get up Mt. Everest, but we're trying.

My therapist has to remind me all the time that we aren't getting rid of the parts, we need to understand what they need. I talk about getting rid of them and I think that makes them scared. I have to show them that I care and am here to listen.
Hard to do, but sounds like that's the idea.

I think it does make sense. I have issues with integration in that it i thought it would mean losing partsof me that in effect saved me. However i now also feel its about co-operation and actually integrating the part into one whole part. Its not easy is it