[darkpurplesecrets]

It has been awhile since I have written, but I have really had some movement happening within and I was wondering if I could get some advice from outside to help me understand what to do?

Vannessa has not been out for several years since she agreed to tell the pastor of the church that my ex-husband and I were going to that she was satan. They cast her out in an exersicm and she went away along with my anger as they said that if my anger came back then I allowed satan back in.

In living up here this past year and the progress we have made, there is now movement and she is beginning to come forth again and I am afraid of her anger and unsure of how to deal with her.

Also there is a very small child coming out and that also scares me as she is only very young and cries mama or dada. I feel that small and go away when she come. So much movement is happening right now and I find myself very afraid. Please Can someone possibly give me some ideas that has helped them or give me things that they have done that has helped them with their anger?

I have never really had anger, and I have never or was never allowed to show it. Therefore, it scares me very much.

Thank you

darkpurplesecrets

[allthegirls6]

Im not sure i understadn. Are you saying a pastor carried out an exorcism on a personality you have?

[pegasus]

Many years ago there was a belief by some that the so-called 'bad' parts should be banished or got rid of. The thing is that the so-called 'bad' parts aren't actually 'bad' at all, they are infact usually very scared and frightened parts. The 'angry' parts have a function, they are needed within the system. The angry parts need to be nurtured, just like all the rest of you.

A good therapist will help you to allow that angry part to have a voice, feel safe and be part of all of you.

I'm so sorry that someone said a part of you was satan or tried to banish that part. Depending on the age of the angry part(s) various things can help to gradually allow those parts some freedom and safety.

(((((((( darkpurplesecrets ))))))))

PM anytime if you need to discuss further.

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((((((darkpurplesecrets))))))))))))) That must have been so hard to be accused of being possessed.

When I was younger, I used to think I was possessed. It was the only way I could explain my head based on the knowledge I had at the time, perhaps due to the religious cult abuse and that added a lot of baggage to my brain. I never told anyone though until this T. She was very helpful in helping me understand what was really going on for me.

Unfortunately people are so misinformed. People explain away things that they don't understand, whether or not they are correct. I'm glad I have a better understanding of what goes on for me. I'm also glad to see that part of you feeling safe enough to start to express herself.

As far as anger, I understand how scary that is. Any type of anger knocks me over and scares me to death. T said that's because the anger that I experienced growing up was a scary anger and not appropriate. She has said that it's possible to learn how to express anger and be around anger without it being like what we knew in the past. For me, anger is the scariest thing in the world. I am hopeful that some day I will see what T is talking about. I'm unsure how to deal with it right now though. I wish I could help you more in that area, but I do understand.

It's good to see you here. I hope to hear more from you.

[multipixie9]

it has taken me a very long time to begin to feel free to express my anger and not get totally scared of even my own anger.

parts can go into hiding inside us when they are accused of being satanic. she must be seeing your progress and is trying to make her presence known and get part of the help that she needs to be healed and released from the pain of the past.

this little alter needs comfort from you. what i do is hold a soft teddy bear and rock it and talk gently to the alter and just say what i would if there were a small child in my arms. you can tell your T about this alter too and seek some help for both of them to begin to be accepted and given some appropriate attention. these are all part of you and like you they have distress and pain and need help. you don't need to be scared of them and you do need to talk to the older, angrier one, Vanessa and offer her some ways to express her anger through drawing, hitting pillows or any "controlled" expression of anger that does not hurt the body you share or anyone else.

this "movement" you experience sounds like a good thing to me. somehow inside they know you are stronger and they can ask for some attention to their needs.

edit: there are some incorrect ideas expressed by this "exorcism" that if you let your self be angry that you had "let satan back in". anger itself is not satanic, it is just human emotion. some people go so far in their anger that their actions are totally wrong, but just being angry is not spiritually incorrect. we all need to learn how to express our anger if we lived with abuse and were not allowed to be angry ourselves and/or saw a lot of abusive expressions of anger.

feel free to PM me if you want to, i'd be glad to talk if i can help. hugs, leslie and her pixies

Originally Posted by wanttoheal

As far as anger, I understand how scary that is. Any type of anger knocks me over and scares me to death. T said that's because the anger that I experienced growing up was a scary anger and not appropriate. She has said that it's possible to learn how to express anger and be around anger without it being like what we knew in the past. For me, anger is the scariest thing in the world. I am hopeful that some day I will see what T is talking about. I'm unsure how to deal with it right now though. I wish I could help you more in that area, but I do understand.

Yes, this, exactly. Anger scares me too, and I really DON'T know what to do with it. T says anger is normal, and can be appropriate, and is not something to run away from. I don't get it yet.

I will tell you some things I have TRIED. T told me once to go somewhere no one could hear me (I went and drove in my van) and just to scream at whoever/whatever I was angry at. I told him I didnt' even KNOW who/what that was. He said that he could personally think of a list of possibilities and just to try out one of the names to see what it felt like. I did try what he said. Honestly, it didn't help. Well, actually, the physical release of screaming helped a litle, but that was about it.

We also write sometimes with crayons. Just big, black letters about how angry we are, and sometimes we draw mandalas...which end up looking very different from the ones we normally draw. THAT helps sometimes - the crayons, the scribbling, the drawing.

As for your little ones...I wonder if there is anything you can do that would help them feel safe and happy? Mine LOVE to color. That helps sometimes.

Lastly - I am really sorry that you were made to feel like a part of you was "satanic" and had to be exorcised. Talk about invalidating what must have been some very real, honest, and true feelings of anger that you were having. Maybe this time it can be different - you can talk to T, and learn that anger is okay, and work it out in a way that is loving to you and all of your parts.

[Crew]

I hope all is well with you guys tonight. Just a suggestion, how we have dealt with anger when we first approached it was our art therapist at the time put out lots of paper and had us pick what colors we thought as a system represented anger from the crayons. Crayons are safe and paper is safe close your eyes and let the colors represent yourselfs. sending "dolphin flutters" your way. ThaCrew

[nightbird]

dear dark purple,

I don't know alot about your problem, but i want to help.

tell me, have you a regular, routine therapist that is not affiliated with any church whatsoever?

there is such a thing as spiritual abuse, but we can look at that later.

are you seeing a therapist or pdoc that you can trust, in spite of what has happened in the past to you, and poor Vanessa...oh dear, my heart is breaking for you!

please look into a 'safe' councellor, that will not see the problems of life in black and white thinking, christiand or non-christian...because it's all about you, your life, your health, your precious heart....and someone who isn't a coward to listen to you, yes?

please find that person, and write us straight away.

I want to follow your endeavors to get well, Dark purple, ok?

I want to help!

LOVE,
night

xoxoxoxo

peace and support

[coper]

Is is normal for persons with DID to not be able to express anger?
Thank you if you respond and I hope I can find this thread again. I'm seeking info because I think my husband may have DID and I'm trying to understand.

[multipixie9]

hi there Coper,

yes it is usual for people with d.i.d. to not be able to express their anger - but this can also be true for people who were abused in life growing up or in a relationship that is abusive.

i'm trying to say that there can be many people who are afraid and have trouble expressing anger.

there are sticky notes at the top of the Dissociative Disorders category that may explain DID to you better and help you see if your husband's behavior seems to fit DID or not. you really need a qualified professional to help you all to deal with his problems - and perhaps yours too in living with his problems.

glad you're here stay awhile and ask all the questions you want. there are many supportive people here. hugs,

leslie and her pixies