[BiPolar14]

I can't hold this feeling inside..I gotta get it out. We were together for 4 years and she left me because I'm bipolar. She couldn't take it anymore. I'm heartbroken, but I understand. What's eating me alive is that she was already seeing someone else before she left me. She hooked up with Sam in California while she was on vacation and now that jerk is in my house..right now. That was MY life 2 months ago and I feel replaced. Kristy is still my best friend so everyday I go thru the process of letting go of this and holding onto that. It's exhausting. I'm not sorry I met her, but I know in my heart that I can't go thru this again. 90% of bipolar relationships fail..I'd rather face that reality and spare myself a lot of grief.

[Leed]

I'm so sorry this happened. I'm sure it's very painful for you. You'll have to grieve this relationship, much like a death. It will take awhile to get over this.

What concerns me is the fact that you say Kristy is still your best friend ~ so you have to see this every day. How do you expect to recover from this if you must put yourself in that environment every day?? It's going to be impossible to heal, with having to continually see the two of them together.

It would be much healthier for you if you would step back, and take a "vacation" from this "friendship" for a good while. You need some time away from this in order to completely heal. In fact, this "friendship" might always be painful for you ~ but at least for now, you should take a vacation from it. Give yourself some grieving time.

God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

Originally Posted by BiPolar14

I can't hold this feeling inside..I gotta get it out. We were together for 4 years and she left me because I'm bipolar. She couldn't take it anymore. I'm heartbroken, but I understand. What's eating me alive is that she was already seeing someone else before she left me. She hooked up with Sam in California while she was on vacation and now that jerk is in my house..right now. That was MY life 2 months ago and I feel replaced. Kristy is still my best friend so everyday I go thru the process of letting go of this and holding onto that. It's exhausting. I'm not sorry I met her, but I know in my heart that I can't go thru this again. 90% of bipolar relationships fail..I'd rather face that reality and spare myself a lot of grief.

She left you because you are bipolar....she is NOT your best friend. A best friend wouldn't do that to you. i know it sounds harsh but I echo Leed and you need to cut yourself off from your "so called" best friend and move on from this.

You need a kind patient good woman who will accept you for you...and not just during the good times....relationships are about the bad times too. Let her and all of the relationship go - you don't need a friend like that, or to watch some other dude in "your" house....but you know what...when it gets difficult with that relationship, she will dump him too.

Where did you get the data that 90% of bipolar relationships fail...that sounds really high. You just need to be with the right person and make sure that you are taking care of yourself as well.

Good luck!

[madisgram]

i agree with lee and jaded. move on, move out. you don't need to have this in your face. if you rent and are the only person on the lease tell them they have to move. the only way you will heal is to have your own space, imho. if situ is different move out if you can.
sorry this happened to you but i too feel you were deceived and you deserve better. also your being bipolar shouldn't stand in your way of having meaningful relationships. i'm bp too and had many. to be loved the other person as well as ourselves should be accepting of all of us, not just when all is well.

[DivorcedWoman]

I'm sorry you are going through this and I can relate. It is so painful. I'm working with my therapist to get on with it and move on but things keep popping up. I was diagnosed with BP in 2005 and had a bad manic episode in 2007 and did some very hurtful things to my husband. He put together paperwork about my erractic behavior and managed to get me kicked out of the house and take custody of our child. Six months after he started dating a new woman. Then about 6 months later she started coming to my son's sports acitivities. Now two weeks ago he told me that she and her two children are moving into my former home (one that we knocked down and redesigned together) and her kids will be going to school with my son (one is even in the same grade) and we will now be in the same school district/social circle. We were together 18 years and married for 12. I try to limit my contact with him but it especially hard when you have a child. We do a swim team that is very time intensive during the summer and she and her kids are doing the same swim team this summer as us even though they aren't moving in until August. He never shared this info until after we signed up and I already have some resentments about being replaced so quickly and her having friendships with people that dropped me because of my illness. Now it's going to be in my face everyday forever as I'm sure they will get married soon. He actually told me about the moving in first and I was fairly calm and accepting because I saw the writing on the wall so I figured I had time to process it. Then the next day I found out the swimming info and freaked out a a lot because I will have to see her everyday for practice and then for meetings every Wednesday night and all day Saturday and Sunday. My counselor says my feelings are completely normal. I've been processing this but I was all over the map. I'm doing better now and feeling a little more positive and will do my best this summer but it will not be easy. My oh so sensitive ex told me to get over it! Nice.

I could never ever live in the same house after what happened. I also suggest you remove yourself from the situation. I know it may be hard but I also would sever the relationship with your ex-wife. I don't think it's healthy for you at all. I know how resentful I am of my ex and I can only imagine what it would be like living with the guy she replaced you with so quickly.

It's been almost 4 years since my separation and I'm still working on moving past my resentments. I know I will do it and I have a fabulous new counselor that I think will help me to suceed, but of course it will take hard work from me as well.

I truly wish you the best. Keep us posted.