going thru a divorce with 3 kids

im going thru a divorce with three kids and i am so lost its my idea after 10 years i just cant handle being the only one pulling the financial weight and he is always so mad everyone is mad really noone is ever in a good mood i feel bad though i want to just put a bandaid on it and say okay but i know for my kids i cant is anyone else going thru this???

I went through a divorce 3 years ago and have three children. I have to convince myself that children are resilient and will be happy. It seems to get easier as time moves on. You should be glad you have a job that can support a family. I was a stay at home mother and it's hard to find a job and be available for the children and pay bills.

I'm going through a divorce right now and have three kids. They are sweet, loving, well-grounded kids but I fear this will truly devastate them. None of them has been sleeping well, and we're going to send my oldest daughter (age 14) to a therapist because she definitely seems unhappy. Been trying very hard to be amicable about the divorce, but I'm emotionally shattered and it's hard at times not to break down.

I am a stay-at-home/work-at-home mom and trying to find a full-time job with benefits so the kids and I can stay in the house.

Feel free to PM me any time -- either of you (anyone, actually) -- if you want to chat or just vent.

I went thru a divorce with 3 kids almost 13 years ago. I was a full-time mom and the toughest thing for me was that I lost custody of my kids. My ex didn't want me to work while we were married and he controlled all of the money. Even though I only asked for joint custody the ex wouldn't agree to it. He got full custody and I could no longer fight because I didn't have the financial resources. He also got the house.

Fast-forward 5 years from that time. I married the most wonderful man and got a good job.

Today - my kids came out just fine. And the best part? They have told me so many times that they can't even picture that I was ever married to their dad! They each have an "ok" relationships with him - but when the going gets tough, they come to me and their step-dad for advice and encouragement.

So, no matter what happens - as long as your kids know you love them and you are willing to make compromises that don't disrupt their lives too much - all will turn out fine.

I could write more - but would rather you ask more specific questions if you are seeking advice. No marriage and no divorce is the same.

Hi ~ If things are more pleasant & calm without your husband, then chances are the kids will feel better too. Kids have a rough time living in a home where there is constant tension -- it makes THEM tense as well, and affects their school work, etc.

If the new environment is more relaxed & everyone is getting along, then chances are things will be okay. Kids are resilient -- they may miss their Dad, but as long as they have contact with him and get to see him regularly, things should work out fine. Just give them time to get used to the idea and make sure you're open to talking with them when needed.

I wish you the best of luck! Try not to stress too much over this --- the kids will sense it. You'll be okay. God bless & take care. Hugs, lee

I went through a divorce and my kids are doing fine. We made sure to make it amicable--this is especially important for the kids' sake. The best predictor of children's emotional health after a divorce is the level of parental conflict (both during and after the divorce). If you and your husband do this without a lot of fighting and vitriole and demonstrate to your kids that you are still polite and civil and working as a team to co-parent, they will do well.

AvidReader, we had my youngest daughter see a therapist before and during the divorce. She is 17 now and still sees the same therapist, and it has been a couple of years since we completed the divorce. It didn't seem like the therapist was that helpful in the early days of her going, but they kept at it, and now the therapist is a really positive influence in my daughter's life. Progress and "improvement" (not sure what to call it) were very, very gradual so it was hard to see at the time.