Have to take a class

So I got a letter from the Clerk of Courts on Friday, didn’t bother looking it over much over the weekend but did today. Seems I have to take either “Trans Parenting” or “The Successful Divorce” class within the next 60 days. I sighed up for “The Successful Divorce” just because it fit my schedule better.

Just a bit of advice to anyone thinking of a divorce, try to work things out first (I tried but failed) this is such a pain.

But at least I’m moving along at my pace not letting my soon to be ex-wife set the agenda.

My ex and I took an online course instead, which worked pretty well for us.

You're right though ~ divorce is hard. It's painful, especially when children are involved. They really complicate the process. You're in my thoughts. Best wishes to you!

"The Successful Divorce" -- sounds like a misnomer, or an oxymoron, or something like that.

I wonder why my state has nothing like that.

Good luck.

I had to take a 4-hour class at the courthouse in parenting. It was boring. It just stressed the importance of remaining a good parent to your children even though you would be divorced. Four hours to say that. I remember my spouse and I were not allowed to attend the same session. I guess they don't want any fights breaking out.

P.S. I had a successful divorce.

My boyfriend took the course back when he divorced his wife ( I wasn't in the picture then) and he told me it was one of the good things that came from the divorce. Yes it was a pain, but he thought it was worth it. I think he's a great dad anyhow. Good luck tho.

“The Successful Divorce” course is required in Wisconsin for any/all who have minor children and are divorcing; so could have nothing to do with not being able to work things out one's self.

Yes it's mandatory for anyone with minor children who is getting a divorce. So I don't see it as personal in any way, and I don't see it as a bad thing either.

I was just saying that divorce is such a pain that if you are thinking about divorce really try to work things out first, anything to avoid what I'm going through.

I've never heard of this but its sounds like a good idea to calm the fires. Whats 'Trans Parenting? Guess what popped in mind - parenting for Transsexuals

That wasn't what came to my mind, the first few times I told people about it they thought I said transparent-ing class, I guess in that class you learn to become invisible, but unfortunately I can't seem to find anyone offering it in my area.

All the ideas mentioned are good IF, your STBE(Soon-To-Be-Ex) is not intellectually and/or, mentally disabled.

My ex-wife could not handle the responsibility of being married. Maybe we were too young(we were both 25 when we got married), but it felt like she was always 'out to lunch'.

We had two kids, but I felt like she was third child. Yes, She gave birth(naturally) to both our kids, but mentally, I never felt like I could have a whole relationship with her.

Divorce sucks. Went through two of them. No kids though. That makes it harder. Hugs to you. I just remember my ex visiting once and my dog chasing his truck as he left. She didnt understand. I cried and cried for her. Maybe a class is a good idea.

i have a divorce hearing on july 26 & i have to take a parenting class also. weve been separated since december & 2 years ago i started to divorce husband but i backed out. hes in jail now for a crime that is a whole other topic (child molesting) & people have told me its automatic grounds for divorce. does anyone know if its automatic grounds? i just want the whole nightmare to be overwith!

In my class they said that now every state is a "no fault" state and you don't need any grounds for divorce. But I can assure you that if he is in jail for molesting a child not only will you get a divorce without any questions asked you will get it with whatever conditions you ask for (assuming they are possible).

Hi Mike,
It isn't as painfull as it sounds. Its more of a pain in the butt. I (we) had to take a "parenting class" when my son was born. I wasn't married to the ex, he had no custodial rights and there was a hefty ro in place at the time, so it was more bizarre than anything else. I still don't think the ex ever complied.
The focus is more on making sure the kids are ok and not in the middle of anything. I remember the class was divided men/women so it got a little heated at times. Lots of emotions coming out. Just sit in the back and do the time to get that certificate. It's more focused on "statistics" than anything else.
Good luck...its going to be ok.

I took the trans parenting class to mean transitional parenting.....transitioning from married to divorced........not transparent...lol. (we all have our own interpretations)

Out of state divorces aren't a picnic either.....makes a whole other can of worms....like the person can't be served....my lawyer says it's all by mail (I would imagine registered).

The gotcha is that my husband ignored the IRS letter for back taxes completely until I finally got it when the California mail was forwarded to my farm in KY that first Christmas when I gave him a chance to see if a change in environment would help him as much as it did me...it didn't, I kicked him out.....then I got the letter (good thing he wasn't there at that time & was 2100 miles away or he would have landed 2100 miles away anyway.....he also ignored all the calls by the mortgage company for over 6 months while the house went into foreclosure....telling me via texting that he was trying for a loan modification when he hadn't even talked to them......so I have no idea how he's going to respond to my lawyer's letter. Lawyer also said that in order to resolve assets/liabilities existing, I might have to go out to Ca & deal with it (I left most everything I owned there when I left) thinking that I would come back & get it...but after everything that happened & the economy fell apart......never got back there & then with the foreclosure & that situation lawyer also said not to go back to Ca because then they might serve me on the deficiency if they choose to after the foreclosure sale.......think everything is just gone.....but I am going to have the lawyer draw up the payoff of the IRS back taxes bill that my husband's retirement fund is paying off....I told him at the time, 1/2 was mine & 1/2 was his even in our separation & because neither of us has any other money to make the monthly payment to the IRS for the next several years.......I either want an agrement that money continues to go to pay the IRS, or force him if possible to take out the lump sum....pay off the IRS & then split the rest....don't know how that will work....but it's the only retirement money left after he blew it so financially when my depression got so bad I couldn't do the finances any longer.

Even without children in the picture, it can get ugly.....maybe even worse especially after being together in the same house for 33 years....I have so many things from my grandmother & things I got with other inheritance money that isn't his in California....in ky, they have a dawry law......crazy....everything no matter how you get it is split 50/50. Backwards state in that regard unless they think that mostly men get the inheritances with the farms & stuff.

Sounds to me that even when my divorce is over, it's not going to really be over in some ways......time will tell.

Divorce is never a thing of beauty. It is inherently heart breaking, stressful, disillusioning and painful. The only god thing is that it gets better after awhile. After my first husband had an affair and dumped me for someone else I felt that it was the end of the world. I found some divorce recovery classes at a large church that helped me get through. The trans parenting classes sound like a good idea. Maybe I would not have made such a mess of raising my daughter,

Eventually I met and married my now husband. It is challenging too, but at least I know that I have to really work on marriage if I am to succeed. Regardless life is a lot better now and I have grown a lot. When you are going through it though it seems like it never will be over. In the end life gets better, maybe not soon enough, but the only way is through it when the marriage is gone

Hey. Sorry for all you are having to deal with. Also sorry transparenting made me think of transsexual as well. My H and I are not getting along and have not in many years. I know divorce is a difficult thing. I'm not sure I have the inner strength to go there. So I continue to tick along where I am the way things are. I think divorce would be an easier option then this some days. But reading things like this make me think staying is not so terrible. It is hard to know really I guess. I got 3 kids to think about to. I hope things work out for the best, not just for you but your kids to. Any words of wisdom M.