I Think I Learned Too Late:

Im considering just quitting and moving back to the family farm

Never make big decisions based on emotions.

I knew you were gonna say that!

I was real bad at one point, actually at several points and I had to learn how to ride the wave and not act.

I know all too well the challenge of emotional overwhelm and the desire to escape in some way. I am very familiar with the depression you speak of.

The anxiety attacks were the worst part.

Yes! I can struggle with that myself. I had a major panic attack that was so incredibly painful, just came over me and I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack. This was due to how crazy and unpredictable my sister was the last years of my parents lives. Little did I know that she had been extorting thousands of dollars from my parents. The worst part is she was manipulating them to think I was stealing from them all because she feared she was losing control. She tried to get me disinherited. I did not get a chance to even defend myself. I would NEVER steal from them.

People think if you hire a lawyer you can get justice. Well, that is simply not the truth. Getting justice is VERY expensive. And my parents thought they set things up to assure their estate would be equally divided. They would be absolutely furious to know what my sister did. I loved my sister, I was devastated when I learned all that she did. I do not want to ever see her again EVER. The person I had formed in my mind of her did not exist. I get it when someone loses trust in their own judgement.

My boundaries have been invaded in ways I never imagined. Life can have some very hard lessons. Your thread title caught my attention because I did learn too late on a lot of things.

Life has some dam hard lessons.

OMG! I am so sorry you went through that!!!!!

I really do appreciate you. I wish you lived closer to SoCal, i would love to meet you, humble spirit!!!!

Thanks, one of my personal drives has always been to use what I have suffered through to help others.

One thing I have learned is to never assume another person knows better or that they have the ability to actually care. Sadly, people tend to evaluate based on how they can use you for their own gains. More often than not people tend to use others for as long as they gain.

I’m not one who followed along with needing to own designer in order to elevate my self worth. I always knew this was a marketing strategy to make someone wealthy. However, that being said I do have an appreciation for the artistic ability of those who can make and design clothes etc A person isn’t necessarily wonderful or great just because they are wearing designer. Actually, often what I have found to be the case is instead entitled and on the narcissistic side.

Have you ever seen a sweat factory where these clothes are made. Did you ever meet someone who worked all day every day at a sewing machine since he/she was just a child? I actually have. They get so they can practically make clothes in their sleep. And they make so little for their labor. So looking at the bigger picture is important.

Hey, do you happen to know any of the band members that got shot in the cooks county bar mass shooting last nite? The shooter was a 59 year old retired police officer.

I read it was a rock band where some band members were shot along with other bar customers.

Holy Crap!!!!

We have played there!!!!

Don't recognize any names!!!!

I was wondering if it was a place you have played. I remembered you mentioning motorcycles and I know you play rock. I hope none of your friends got hurt.

Were you able to find any news articles on it?

Yes! Several of them!

So, ive been having some really strange emotional things going on lately.

Can you put it into words?

It sounds like you are in a very confused emotional state and at a genuine “loss”. This is a very personal challenge and has a lot to do with very early imprinting and your personal journey of finding ways to navigate.

It’s important that you don’t beat yourself up while experiencing this personal evaluation. From what you have shared, you do use whatever you do have to work hard to generate funds to make gains. So, you do have a good sense of work ethic.

I think that you wanted to get respect from a class of people that tend to mostly be entitled and use. When you begin to see the reality there is the desire to run home to some kind of safe. That is a very normal human response.

Feelings are not always fact however, so it’s important to take the time to slowly evaluate. The reason for this is that you don’t want to dismiss the things you did that were and are positives.

Yep, great perspective. Totally nailed my feelings.

If you focus too much on loss you may miss some important freedoms you now have.

You are very wise indeed.

I'm realizing a lot of things now that i didn't see when i was "submerged" in the relationship.

The guy who was told "you're lucky to have me because nobody would ever want you," suddenly has women 30 years younger leaving lipstick kisses on his cheek after a performance.

I have more money than ive ever had since i have been married.

After 4 years of celibacy, im choosing not to engage in purely recreational sex, although its nice to know its available.

I'm no longer hearing a constant repertoire of negative traits.

My house is always clean.

Its a good life

I'm getting better, one day at a time

Good Morning Empathic Friends....God bless you

You playing tonite?

Not tonight. Going to dinner with my drummer friend.

Have a nice dinner 😊

Awwwwww...Bless you!!!!

Great breakfast, great rehearsal, great dinner too!@@!