How am I suppose to move on???

Well, my husband and I are going through a divorce. I recently found out that he is seeing someone and could have been before we were separated. How is that fair?? I wanted to do the right thing but now I am so hurt. How do I move past this???

Hi AuburnGirl, it is so painful to learn these things about the ones we devoted so many years to, all in good faith, and then find out that to some extent, it was one way. ((((hugs)))) (I had a similar situation in my marriage.)

I suggest seeing a therapist for support and help with how to move on. You might look for one who likes to work with people going through divorce and other life transitions. (My current therapist has a bit of a specialty in divorce and has helped tremendously. Before him, I saw another therapist and didn't make much progress on moving on.)

What do you mean, you wanted to do the right thing? You mean in the marriage? Or in the divorce?

Take care.

AuburnGirl, you're right it is not fair. I think going through my divorce was the most painful thing I've ever done. Do you have an attorney and a therapist that can help you through the hard times?

So sorry for what you are going through AuburnGirl. I too am going through another divorce so I can understand what you may be feeling.

Working through the emotions of divorce is quite painful on so many different levels. We are literally grieving the loss of our partner, our marriage, our hopes and our dreams. Having said that, I can also say that there will be times of great hurt, anger and even love still....but you can make it through if you realize that you have to give yourself permission to feel all those things during the process.

Sometimes life isn't fair.....people are not fair...situations are not fair. I believe the best thing we can do for ourselves is to take care of No. 1 as best we can. Know that in time, things will hurt less, tears will be shed less. Even if we don't have all the answers to our questions of the why's and how's....we can still move forward and heal. Doing our best to keep our eyes on the future and not the past will help a lot too.

I wish you well and hope that you can find your way through the pain as easily as possible.


sabby