[choocha]

Hi. I don't know where else to post this but I guess it's kinda related.
Does anyone else here suffer from BDD? If so, how does it affect your life and how do you cope with it? I'm 38 and have had it severely all my life. No-one has ever seen me without make-up or seen me completely naked. I can't go swimming because I won't wear bathers. These are just a few examples. Can anyone relate? My psychologist does not know how to treat this. Any ideas?

[Sunny*1]

I don't have bdd, but I can relate to what you are saying and going through. A psychologist told me one time to do what you fear - a lot. For example I feared wearing running tights and triathlon clothes. I broke out of the fear by over exposure, I wore them even though I was petrified, for several hours during events. It really helped, but it was so hard to do initially. I can now walk in a swimsuit without a towel covering me and its not that big of a deal.
Maybe you could try bits or chunks of exposure. Like either make yourself go out without make up grocery shopping (avoiding mirrors and such) and keep doing it even though it is really hard. And don't look in the mirror before you leave, just go.

What have you tried do far? One thing I know for sure is to avoid mirrors and reflective things as much as you can? How often are you using them?

[LostNAngry]

I don't have any advice but I hope you find the answer you are looking for. I wish you the best of luck.

[choocha]

Originally Posted by Sunny*1

I don't have bdd, but I can relate to what you are saying and going through. A psychologist told me one time to do what you fear - a lot. For example I feared wearing running tights and triathlon clothes. I broke out of the fear by over exposure, I wore them even though I was petrified, for several hours during events. It really helped, but it was so hard to do initially. I can now walk in a swimsuit without a towel covering me and its not that big of a deal.
Maybe you could try bits or chunks of exposure. Like either make yourself go out without make up grocery shopping (avoiding mirrors and such) and keep doing it even though it is really hard. And don't look in the mirror before you leave, just go.

What have you tried do far? One thing I know for sure is to avoid mirrors and reflective things as much as you can? How often are you using them?

Thanks for your feedback Sunny. My psychologist told me to try the same things. The only things I've been able to do are wear daggier clothes, not do my hear, and wear less makeup, out in public. I can't do anything more at this stage, it's just too hard.
Good on you for getting over your fear. Well done.

[choocha]

Originally Posted by LostNAngry

I don't have any advice but I hope you find the answer you are looking for. I wish you the best of luck.

Thank you

[medicalfox]

I'm pretty sure I have it. I try to ignore my feelings and have a "no f-cks are given" attitude. I don't like the way I look in pictures, but I don't tell people that so they can take pictures with me for memories and such. I don't always like my face, but I don't understand make up because of my autism so it doesn't matter how I look, there is only so much I can change. Try to have a carefree attitude about it if possible. It's really hard and it takes time, I'm not even a pro about it, but at least I can get through the day and do what I want/need to accomplish. Going to the gym also helps, it's a great confidence booster!

[MoxieDoxie]

I Have to look in the mirror when i pass one ebery time to check my stomach and to see what others see. I am controled by this. All day long i think about what others think about my body if they think my stomach is fat or my a s s or my thighs. I feel gross about myself. Obsessed about my body image.

[choocha]

Thanks MedicalFox. Maybe you do have it. There are many books on it and stuff on the internet, for self-diagnostic tool, if you wanted to look it up before bringing it up tih your T.Or maye just bring it up with your T. Maybe he/she is already familiar with it. Most people I know with BDD do undertsand makeup, they are makeup fanatics because if it. You get to be an artist at covering up your perceived flaws. People think I have perfect skin and eyebrows - no I just know whow to make my flaws disappear in public. And I know how to do my eys and lips so people aren't looking at my other flaws. You should get yours checked out. You could be being treated it for it. Thanks for your feedback.

[choocha]

Hi Mox. Have you ever done a BDD checklist? You may have it. Pre-occupation and obsession with one or more perceived flaws is a sign of it. The flaws have to be perceived though or imagined worse than they actually are. You have to think they are worse than they actually are. Like if you told people what your flaws are would they say you are ebing ridiculous? You should look inot it, online, or there are some good book s on it too. You should talk to your T about it too. There are treatments for it, not good ones, but nonetheless. Thanks for your feedback.

[MoxieDoxie]

Originally Posted by choocha

Hi Mox. Have you ever done a BDD checklist? You may have it. Pre-occupation and obsession with one or more perceived flaws is a sign of it. The flaws have to be perceived though or imagined worse than they actually are. You have to think they are worse than they actually are. Like if you told people what your flaws are would they say you are ebing ridiculous? You should look inot it, online, or there are some good book s on it too. You should talk to your T about it too. There are treatments for it, not good ones, but nonetheless. Thanks for your feedback.

I am bulimic and that is what brought me to finally after a decade seek a therapist. I have 2 T's now but they never ask about my body image. They rarely ask about my bulimic activities. I won't bring it up because it is uncomfortable and embarrassing. Neither of them challenge me.

[ar2004]

My T tested me for and ED and BDD last time and I should find out about those tests in our session this week. I had never heard of BDD before and I was really nervous to be tested for something I knew nothing about. I'm a perfectionist and used to being as prepared as possible. When I looked BDD up later online I was not real sure that fit my experience. The questions my T asked me were hard to answer without putting some thought into them and I've already recalled several questions where my answers probably didn't jive with my routines or actions.

I hope that you can find someone who can help you with your BDD. It sounds like it is significantly affecting your life and you need someone who can help you work through it. I am not sure if a psychologist who specializes in ED's would be able to help treat BDD or not.

[sandysue44]

Originally Posted by choocha

Hi. I don't know where else to post this but I guess it's kinda related.
Does anyone else here suffer from BDD? If so, how does it affect your life and how do you cope with it? I'm 38 and have had it severely all my life. No-one has ever seen me without make-up or seen me completely naked. I can't go swimming because I won't wear bathers. These are just a few examples. Can anyone relate? My psychologist does not know how to treat this. Any ideas?

I am so envious of women who are overweight and are comfortable wearing clothes that show their fat and they just don't care what others think. My nail tech is so beautiful. She wears midriff baring tops and her cute little fat hangs over her pants or skirts. These trailer trash women wear sleeveless tops with their "school bus driver arms" fat hanging out. They don't care. Right now I don't have a scale and I am leaning over typing and I feel my belly fat touching my legs. It is filling up the space that it didn't used to fill up. People have no problem discussing the fact that I have gained ten pounds. I can't get away with gaining a pound and other women can function as overweight women and no one had dare mention it. I am mad!

[sandysue44]

Originally Posted by choocha

Thanks for your feedback Sunny. My psychologist told me to try the same things. The only things I've been able to do are wear daggier clothes, not do my hear, and wear less makeup, out in public. I can't do anything more at this stage, it's just too hard.
Good on you for getting over your fear. Well done.

My therapist said I had bdd but I don't believe him. I just see a before picture in a belly fat commercial. Heck, I am 59, I work out, I am not overweight (like to lose maybe ten pounds). I have always had a tummy bulge except when I was a literrally skinny, underweight child. It runs in the family. I do sometimes feel fatter than other times and I obsess about how fat I feel. Today I hadn't weighed myself in several weeks. I felt so fat because I hadn't made it to the gym but worked out the best I could at home. I wanted to call out fat from work the other day. lol Seriously it was all I could think about. If I am not really thin I feel fat constantly. I am jealous of women who are comfortable being overweight and you had not dare say anything about it to them. People always seem so comfortable mentioning any weight gain to me. It has always been that way. I think I should get medeival with them and become a real *****.

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

I Have to look in the mirror when i pass one ebery time to check my stomach and to see what others see. I am controled by this. All day long i think about what others think about my body if they think my stomach is fat or my a s s or my thighs. I feel gross about myself. Obsessed about my body image.

I'm the same way...I can look down and see the stomach isn't huge but look in a mirror and that's all I see. They say a picture adds 10 lbs and I try to believe that but to me it adds 100 lbs. I do work out...sometimes I feel good about it, sometimes I get frustrated because of the mirror. I've not eaten properly for ages because of it, but every mouthful I have to tell myself, will be gone the next day. Still, I haven't had a 'meal' in years.

Meryl Streep had the best line in a movie (can't remember the name)...when an ex wanted her to take off her bathrobe so he could see her nake. She said no and "somethings are better seen lying down." or something like that. So true, but sometimes that doesn't help either, when you're so sure your a-big-fat-cow..my mantra.

And of course NO ONE sympathizes because I'm 5'5" and weigh aprox 125-130 lbs. That is NOT what I look like!!!

[eblam81]

Hi Choocha, I was reading your post and then read Moxie's and they both struck a nerve with me. I have had this my entire life! I am 50 now but people tell me that I don't look over 30 (loving that part!) because I absolutely obsess over my skin and taking care of what I look like but the "funny" part about all this, is that I've been fully functioning like this my whole life! I have gone through tough times with it (anorexia), hospitalized for it briefly, suffer with weight loss off & on all the time. I go from 96 to my highest weight, about 110. Now I'm a healthy 103! I always have to have makeup and something "nice" on, and my hair washed and combed out or put up...EVERY DAY. As I'm typing this out, it sounds absolutley exhausting but it's been my daily routine my whole life and it always will be. I start the minute I wake up, even when I wake up in the middle of the night to pee, I check in the mirror, brush my teeth, wash myself secretly, brush my hair, it's a ritual that I guess I do that I've never even realized. I don't think I can be happy throwing all that out the window because it's me. I have gone without makeup for a bit, wearing just sweats, tossing my hair back and just chilling. I didn't feel like me and I kind of felt like hiding. I've spoken to therapists about this and medications just hit me the wrong way, but that's just me. I chose to keep this as me as long as I'm functioning and happy and I am. I'm not sick or dysfunctional and it doesn't harm myself or anyone else. I hope this is useful to you in some way.

[choocha]

Hi Mox. That is no good. Your T's should be challenging you on issues otherwise how will you learn from them and about them? It seems like you may have weak T's. Good luckl with your struggles.

[choocha]

Thanks for your feedback Eblam. It's great that you are happy and accepting of the way you are. Your input was helpful to me.

[Victoria'smom]

I plan to get my make-up tattooed. I have not been able to wear make-up for over four years because my husband wanted mirrors back in the house. I did not want to get 'lost in the mirror' for hours and cry for hours when removing make-up.

[choocha]

Hi MiguelsMum. I would love to get my makeup tattoo'd on but I don't trust anybody to get it right. I'm terrified of a botched job and looking like a freak. Good luck to you MM. I too get lost in mirrors. I lose time when I gaze into a mirror, analysing everything. I used to be worse - any shiny surface I would have to look in. If I didn't like my reflection as I walked past a shop window I would have a panic attack and want to go home to change clothes to make the grossness go away. I look at myself in the reflection of peoples' glasses.

I have to force myself not to excessively check myself out in the car rearview mirror. Sometimes when I'm driving if I see a flaw in the mirror I will get makeup out while I'm driving and fix up whatever the perceived flaw is. I can't wait till I get where I'm going in case someone sees me looking ugly. Even when I'm by myself at home I will touch up my makeup, excessively apply lipgloss, and I have a bad habit of picking any lump or bump on my skin till it bleedes or gets infected. I have used tweezers and nail clippers to cut out any irregularities in my skin, again causing injury.

When I first sit down in front of the mirror to put my makeup on I deliberately put my eyes out of focus so I can't see myself clearly until at least the basics of my face are done. Not until I have foundation, powder and eyebrows on can I look at myself and even then I think I look hideous until I have eyelashes, lips and eyeliner on. I will not answer the door if I don't look perfect so I hate unexpected guests. I hate with a passion when people say I look fine or even worse "better" without makeup. I think they are either lying, can't see properly the way I can or don't care enough to tell me the truth.
How can others not see what I see? I know there must be other perfectionists out there and I worry that people who are critical of looks will see me and judge me. This all sounds so toally self-absorbed as I type it out. I'm very embarassed to admit all of this but I'm talking about it to educate others and to open up to try to understand it and how I can maybe change. i know many other people must have it undiagnosed so I'm hoping that those of you who see yourself in some of the thigs that I do will get yourselves checked out and possible diagnosed with it so you can get treatment. Good luck to those of you who do have it.

[rissaAli]

I have BDD. It kind of goes along with all my other weirdness. My T doesn't really treat this either. The person on my team that challenges this the most is my dietician. She is full of super fun exposure therapies. The thing she does though is make me say out loud exactly what I see. She then tries to help me se the other side so to say. She has been very helpful in educating my T both of them actually. Even if you don't have diagnosed ED this may be helpful. My D is a specialist in intuitive eatting/ eating/feeding disorders. She was the first ED specialist I saw and even though my T has changed from IP to op she has stuck by me. Just an idea

[MashaMasha]

Originally Posted by choocha

Hi. I don't know where else to post this but I guess it's kinda related.
Does anyone else here suffer from BDD? If so, how does it affect your life and how do you cope with it? I'm 38 and have had it severely all my life. No-one has ever seen me without make-up or seen me completely naked. I can't go swimming because I won't wear bathers. These are just a few examples. Can anyone relate? My psychologist does not know how to treat this. Any ideas?

Hi my girlfriend suffers from BDD and i really need help. i want her to cope up with this. Can you suggest me how i can help her apart from CBT ?.
Any pointers would be helpful.

[PreciousPiglets]

Hi, I haven't been diagnosed with BDD, but I experience these feelings on a daily. Every time I pass a mirror, I have to look and see how people would see me at that moment. I am constantly looking at my stomach and thighs, and most the time I see flaws and feel really fat....even though i wear size 0 pants. I can't help but constantly think that I'm unattractive, especially compared to my friends. I do have BPD though, so I figured this is part of the disorder. I can't go anywhere without makeup, and even sometimes go to bed with it on in case someone comes to see me. I absolutely hate having my hair up, so I avoid people when I do have to throw it up. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to treat or fix this.

[eskielover]

I think what got me growing up was that my grandmother & I noticed a lot of older ladies would like tweeze their eye brows.....& then pick on others when they didn't look just so.......it PISSED ME OFF.....& I was the kind of kid that liked to cause trouble & be counter to anything people like that were like.....so I deliberetaly wouldn't do anything that she said & basically told her to go blow it off.

My other trick to not wearing makeup-----is that I have so many things going on in my life that I'm always late trying to get going & leaving the house. I could stay up all night & still be late leaving....so there is no time for makeup.....there's barely time to get dressed nice enough to fly out the door.

So I guess my one suggestion would be to fill your life with so many more important things that keep your time occupied that you don't have time to think about it let alone deal with things like makeup.....& my other thing was that I have very allergic reactions to makeup....when I was in college one of my girl friends had a makeup party.....I left there with my eyes swollen shut......so I don't even want to mess with stuff like that....

Strange, I never notice whether a lady is wearing make-up or not.....& like I said....it seemed like only picky old ladies would comment on stuff like that & I surely didn't want to be anything LIKE them. So I learned young in life to "DO MY OWN THING" especially if it went against what anyone tried to make me want to do because it was their thing.

I ride horses, I work on my farm & I live in a hot humid area in the summer & I hate makeup sweating off & running into my eyes & burning.....so when I did try it a few times I was miserable which went along with stopping any possible desire.

I do make sure that any cloths I have are matching at least in color when I RUN out the door & jump into my truck late for where ever I'm going.....& sometimes especially in the winter....I live in sweats & sweatshirts.....I always make sure I'm matching in color & style just because I LIKE to wear cloths like that but I end up running out the door for where ever I'm going sometimes in whatever I have on.....No one ever really cares IMO....or even notices.....I think we are the only one's aware of ourselves....or OLD PICKY LADIES.