[desperado]

i can feel another bout of anorexia coming on.........i just know it......cannot control it.........good grief i am one huge enormous mess. but i dont even care anymore.

i really dont. it's a mad world. ive given my best. forget it, man.

[mr_wrencher]

Hi Dessy : We are all a mess, thats why we are here. Don't give up, from what I have seen you have a large support group right here. Your not a MESS, just human. We all need some support for one thing or another. Your Friend Wrencher

[lil_bit]

You can control it, otherwise it would have taken you down long ago. You can do it, you have help just take a breath or two and sort out what's making you feel as though you can't control it and work one bit at a time to regain control.
((hugs))

[mtaylor]

Just remember it is one breath at a time, one step at a time, one meal at a time, on day at a time. Control that and focus on that and the rest will come. Eventually you will look back and be amazed.
(I can't take credit for any of that knowledge-my grandmother told me that the day I was commited when I was younger-I try my hardest to live by it-it has helped more than she will ever know)

((((des))))

[desperado]

Thank you so much, Wrencher.........it's people like you who help me keep going.

Your friend,

Desy

[desperado]

Thank you lil_bit, but the thing is, it is controlling me. It has for years and years. I think I have figured out what's keeping it active -- but I don't know how to put all of it behind me. I am having great difficulty "working through" the stuff. I'm afraid that my body is ruined. It can take a lot, but.............I have really messed myself up. And I only have myself to blame. How pathetic.

PM me any time.

Hugs,

Desy

[desperado]

Hi mt,

I love what you said about your grandmother. How nice that she lives on inside of you.

I will try to take your advice. I find taking one day, one hour, one meal, etc. @ a time so difficult...................

Feel free to PM.

Hugs,

Desy

[desperado]

I am sorry I am so negative.

I'm just so frustrated & depressed beyond my breaking point.

[lil_bit]

I understand where you're coming from, and about how it can take control of you. But no matter what, it's still YOUR body. Everything happens in a series of small steps. The things that cause you too feel this way...and the things you can do to help yourself out. I know it's hard, but you can do it =]

and about the "negativity", sometimes we learn the most about ourselves through our actions during the roughest of times.
chin up, you'll get through this as in all other things.

[desperado]

Lil_bit.......can I pls PM you?

Des

[mlpHolmes]

Dear Desperado,YOU are not "one huge mess"!! You are a valuable, human being whose not perfect! Just like everyone else!
You've GOT to care!! I care about you! Just because. . .you are.
You exist. Perhaps you are here to change someone's life, or be influential in some other way. Sometimes our purpose is vague to us. But we have to clear the obstacles in our path (that takes energy & hard work) & I for one am here to help you along. Amazingly, it won't be just 2 of us! But this entire community cares - they care about y o u. How fortunate are we??!!!

[desperado]

Oh my gosh, mlpHolmes...........

what a beautiful post.....................................

Thank you, thank you, thank you...........

(pass the kleenex).

Wow. You are very kind. Yes, let's try to help each other.

Sincerely,

Des

[EJ711]

mlpHolmes,

Bravo on your first post!!

Wow and welcome!

I'm feeling rather imperfect today.

Hugs,

EJ