[ShaggyChic_1201]

Deja vu. Went to doctor, and despite telling nurse I wanted a blind weighing and even stood on scale backwards, the b*#ch told me my weight.

Freaked out at T's office. She reminded me of facts, like I had just gotten off an airplane and a bad illness has left me sedentary for 4 months - thus excusing the pounds I gained. (NOT underweight).

My panic hasn't abated. Since then, I have only eaten 'good' foods (very large doses of vegetables, some fruit, 10 almonds and 1 Greek yogurt/day.) I look forward to getting bloated so I want to eat less. Every time I am ready to eat, I say aloud that b/p is off the table, and I remain abstinent.

I only want to lose the gained weight, which I expect to be within 2-3 weeks. I will talk to T next time I see her in 2 weeks.

I'm still in the clear, right?

[jelly-bean]

I don't think you have a problem yet but talking to your T when you see her next is a very good idea. I would talk to the nurse that weighed you and make sure she does not make the same mistake the next time she weighs you. I tend to get on the scale backwards too and they never tell me the weight even though it never changes.

[angelicgoldfish05]

Originally Posted by ShaggyChic_1201

Deja vu. Went to doctor, and despite telling nurse I wanted a blind weighing and even stood on scale backwards, the b*#ch told me my weight.

Freaked out at T's office. She reminded me of facts, like I had just gotten off an airplane and a bad illness has left me sedentary for 4 months - thus excusing the pounds I gained. (NOT underweight).

My panic hasn't abated. Since then, I have only eaten 'good' foods (very large doses of vegetables, some fruit, 10 almonds and 1 Greek yogurt/day.) I look forward to getting bloated so I want to eat less. Every time I am ready to eat, I say aloud that b/p is off the table, and I remain abstinent.

I only want to lose the gained weight, which I expect to be within 2-3 weeks. I will talk to T next time I see her in 2 weeks.

I'm still in the clear, right?

I loathe getting weighed at the doctors office. I always find out I weigh too much. I want to weigh less the next time I have to see her now just to prove I'm not too fat. I have never had a problem with not eating, I used to restrict and b/p. But I have taken b/p off the table too. I never want to go through that hell again. However, I am now just eating once a day. Trying to built up my "strength" and my "muscles" to do even less of that in the near future. It's not a problem yet, and I only plan to do it until Easter. I rationalize and tell myself it is for Lent, but it is really because I want to lose all this ******* weight. The weight feels like all the baggage from all the **** that has gone down in the past 2 years. And I'm done with it. I want it gone as soon as possible. If this means restricting so be it. I've never been ana and never been able to do that. So I am not really worried about it going too far or that happening.

Have you had major problems with this in the past? If so, it is a slippery slope and I do know the behaviors are addictive. I think it's great you have taken b/p off the table too.

[touchingthestars]

Its really amazing how you are so sure that you never want to get back in to the b/p cycle! Woohoo!!!!

reading the rest of your post scares me a bit though... restricting isnt good for your body and if youre not eating three meals, 2-3 snacks a day then you are restricting. even if you have never restricted before, a body that has put up with b/p cycles doesnt want to have to put up with starvation, even if its only for a "short" period of time. do something good for your body... please...

good luck

[ShaggyChic_1201]

Originally Posted by touchingthestars

Its really amazing how you are so sure that you never want to get back in to the b/p cycle! Woohoo!!!!

reading the rest of your post scares me a bit though... restricting isnt good for your body and if youre not eating three meals, 2-3 snacks a day then you are restricting. even if you have never restricted before, a body that has put up with b/p cycles doesnt want to have to put up with starvation, even if its only for a "short" period of time. do something good for your body... please...

good luck

Ouch! This and the previous posts hurt. Because, the truth is I take b/p off the table frequently since it's on the table more than I admit to anyone. If truth be told, I do it ~5x a month. I tell myself it's ok b/c I used to do it so much more. ED logic, probably.

I was at a thrift store today and my eye lasered on bathroom scales. I wanted one very badly. Thankfully, I left it there and left. Having it at home would be extremely triggering and would probably make me relapse.

I am still dieting. I am not relapsed or lapsed at this moment, but I know I am playing with a loaded gun in a room that's on fire. But I need to feel like I am the right size again.