It's so hard...

I've had anorexia since I was 12, and I'm 16 now. In the beginning it was really bad, and then I got better for a year or so, but now I fear it's getting bad again. My older sister who is 19 wants me to get a feeding tube now. And I've been to the hospital 7 times already this year.

Also I feel like no one understands sometimes, like everyone tells me 'You need to eat to stay alive.' And I know that is true but it's incredibly hard to explain to them that you know that, but you just can't make things work.

Also sometimes when I talk about these type of things in depth to my sister it triggers me and I feel I have to purge because I think about the whole picture...idk I don't think I'm making much sense.

welcome to pc!

I understand exactly what you are going through here. I've battled anorexia since i was 12 and I'm 17 now, recovered for 6 or so months but not doing so well now.

It does seem sometimes like no one understands us, but this forum is full of people who understand and who are willing to help. I think the two worst words in the world are "just eat..." But they are the words of the blind, anyone who says them simply doesn't understand what you are going through...so those words are worthless.

Have you ever spoken with a professional, like a counselor or therapist about this? Also if talking with your sister triggers you, you could talk to her about this. She must care a lot about you, so I'm sure she will readily avoid a trigger like that.

take care...

Hi RiseAndShineAdam,

Sorry to hear that you’re struggling with the anorexia. Seven times into the hospital sounds pretty severe. Like lil_bit mentioned, have you looked into seeing a therapist? Maybe even inpatient treatment or medication would help you. I just know for me, hospital visits, IVs, and feeding tubes weren’t the answer. It sounds like your sister is trying to support you... but you have to want that support and want to change for things to get better. I really hope you get to a point where you can “truly” say what you need, and where you can accept any and all forms of support. Coming here was a good step... in the little time I’ve been here I’ve found so many people with so many helpful words. I’m sending you thoughts of strength to do what you need to do.

Hugs. ~ Bee

If you ever need someone to talk to, you can PM me. Your sister probably just doesn't understand, and she wants to help you so the only thing she can think of to do is to make you eat.

Welcome ... I frequent the forum as some one who was greatly effected by someone with an eating disorder...I won't claim to understand everything...just offer a different perspective...At least I think I do...