[HunnyBee]

hey everyone!

This is the first time I've been to this site. I have an eating disorder for about 3 years...but in the last 3 months its gotten a lot worse. I restrict my food intake so much and I keep losing weight. I want to lose weight! but at the same time, I know its not healthy. I keep getting lower and lowe and I'm so scared that my doc is gonna make me go into the hospital....thats even scarier b/c then I know i have to eat and I won't have choices But also, maybe that will be the only way for me to get better, still don't want to.

Just wondering if you can tell me if you were ever put in the hospital...what it was like? did it help? or did you figure out a different way then going into a hospital? and at what weight did they make you go?

Thanks
HB

A very warm welcome to PC....
It sounds like you have been having a very tough time... I am so sorry.. I know how hard and scary it can be..

Do you have a Therapist? The right therapist is what turned it around for me.. I had have my ED, I think for 6 years..
I got a new therapist around Dec last year and that is what has worked for me.. and the support I receive here at PC.

I've never been to the hospital for my ED, which has been at times restriction, bulimea and binge without purge..

I have had to be re-hydraded and had to visit my doctor weekly. And I've also had to go twice a week to a nutritionist... or they threatened I/P psych...

But really, I think just realizing that I wanted to change.. helped alot..that feeling "icky" just from the food.. wasn't worth it..

Stick around PC... you will find so many kind, wonderful supportive people..

[Direction]

Welcome to PC...

I would try to minimize worrying about hospitalization...try to concentrate on getting a good therapist to start...

[lil_bit]

I agree with direction, all that worrying can't possibly be doing you any good. And a good therapist can be more helpful in some cases than a hospital. I've never been hospitalized but a friend of mine has and I've been with her through the whole ordeal. With my friend at least, the hospitalization helped her but only so long as her family upheld what she was told while there. It's all but a short-term recovery...

Also I don't believe it's a certain weight that is the determining factor..moreso I believe it's a combination of mental state, BMI, and recommendations by doctors/therapists/family etc.

Oh, and it is possible to recover without going to a hospital...it is quite difficult...but still possible.

good luck and take care, you are strong enough to fight this and we are all here to help

[eskielover]

Welcome to PC,

I was having eating problems when I first came here 2 1/2 years ago. I have been hospitalized several times.....actually more times that I can even remember. I have several posts on this forum about my experiences, so will just summarize.

First time, I was on prozac & it made me feel so sick, I quit eating....& then it became a good thing in my mind to not eat.....no one noticed until I had really lost alot of weight....& I am only 5'2", so that was very low. It was at that point when the pdoc I had had contacts with the rader institute & they had money for people who were very ill but couldn't afford their treatment.....guess I qualified cause I was there for over 1 month (right at Thanksgiving & Christmas). It didn't do any good & when I got out, I continued to just blow it all off & not eat any more that just getting by, so I was continually passing out & landed in the medical hospital....about once a month for about 1 year. My GP would put in a central line for the IV nutrition.....about 1 week....I'd get out & do the same thing over & over.

I honestly don't know that the turning point was, but it just seemed to go away until just about 2 1/2 years ago when I had gotten sick from the smoke from a forest fire & landed in the hospital for 10 days with an asthma attack. That was right after my Mothers cancer surgery & my mare had her foal & my foal got injured & I had the stress of taking care of the wound for about 2 months....at the same time, my mothers cancer condition was getting much worse. That stress along with the asthma made me feel horrible, so I didn't feel like eating (something stress has always done to me). Then I went through a horrible trauma with the home care person...the ID theft, the abuse to my Mother by her, & stress with no one being honest about my mothers condition. I was so exhausted & couldn't eat, to the point where I was medically hospitalized right after Christmas 2 years ago. I just couldn't eat, & then my Mother died while I was in the same hospital she had been in, so my stress just got worse. My GP had a psychologist come in & talk with me daily & had the hospital's pdoc there too (since my own pdoc & psychologist didn't have privilidges in that hospital). My GP had tried to do something other than the central line to get nutrition into my body, but I had a horrible reaction in my arm to that & they had to take that out......the Pdoc told me I couldn't leave the hospital to go to my Mothers funeral or he would put me on a hold.....I got around that, but promised my GP to come back after the funeral & let him put in the central line if I still couldn't eat. I was in & out of the hospital for several months then.....& exhaustion was part of my not eating.

Treatment centers for anorexia can be beneficial if it is the right kind of treatment for your situation, but sometimes, they are hooked on their reasonings behind why people don't eat, & it isn't personalized like it should be....so it doesn't always work. The last time, they wanted me to go into an ED treatment center, but the centers all agreed that I was going through PTSD as the cause for my ED & they couldn't help me......unfortunately, no one could help & no one knew how to help, so I find that sometimes, I have to find my own answers.

Hope this helps a bit, but it is best if you can find a treatment team including a pdoc, psychologist, nutritionist, & a good GP to help you with your situation.....that way, it is more personal to your needs.

Debbie

[shannon9xj]

Hi there newbie. My only advice is not to fight it. The more you fight it the worse you will get. Take it as it comes and try not to look too far ahead, you will just stress yourself out more. I've been hospitalized three times and it wasn't until I let myself just "be" there that I started to finally get better. That's all and lots of uck to you!

[HunnyBee]

Thanks for all your responses!