[Monty_girl]

I feel like now I have completely lost all the recovery I had ever had. Feel like I've even fallen harder and deeper into my ED then I ever have before. I had so many many years of awesome recovery and I never thought that I would get to a point that I have gotten too. And the really horrible thing is I feel like I can even fall farther then I already have. In a downward spiral of fear of food. Thing is too, is that I dont want to recover this time. Feel like ED is the only true comfort in my life. Ed comsumes 90% of my every thought. Makes me feel less of a failure then I am.

[silver_queen]

(((((((((((( Monty )))))))))))

I've had feelings like that sometimes during my depression... and afterwards, I've come out stronger than ever. So don't give up hope, you might be the same in your fight against this. Maybe you could make a list of what is good and bad about an ED, such as (bad things) shame, fear of food, fear of calories, constant tiredness, constant worry over eating, always worried somebody will find out, etc. And what are the good things? Well, some are evident such as fast weight loss, but they come at a price! I know you're currently working hard in college... try to put that before the ED...

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((( Monty ))))))))))))