stomach ache again because food didn't agree with me.

I seriously can't go on like this..

[Deilla]

I did some stress eating last night. I'm doing better today.

[indigo1015]

Not good… I was so good yesterday for most of the day— three small meals and no snacks— but work kicked my *** last night and on my way home from work I stopped at a gas station and got a burrito. I was just so hungry and exhausted and stressed and I couldn’t cope.

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[Deilla]

I did well last night. I slept instead of ate.

eating way too much candy before dinner

I need to. I won't enjoy it. I havon't enjoyed it for... I don't know how long. a long time

not too much snacking today. just my mcdonalds

[Mountaindewed]

I was low today but I feel like I still ate enough. I had 4 bowls of oatmeal, 3 mini bags of Goldfish crackers and a package of Quest peanut butter cups. So I for sure only ate my “safe” foods today. I had one can of zero sugar mango Pepsi, and then a 20oz zero sugar Mountain Dew. I had a ton of water today and I was going to the bathroom nonstop. The intense amount of water was not disordered behavior. I was gonna get an unwhich from Jimmy Johns for dinner but it will be too late by the time my mom gets home to order it.

My mom is bringing me home a ton of groceries. A lot of ramen, goldfish, some zero Gatorade, and a case or 2 of vanilla Coke Zero sugar. She’s also bringing me home some European chocolate. I rarely eat any chocolate besides the protein cups. I just save chocolate in case of an emergency. I’ve been working on the same box of chocolate Paydays since I think April and I still have a ton of them left. There were 30 in the box.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

...... goldfish?

you need to fill me in here. apart from the little things that swim around in tanks (I used to have some!), I don't know what they are.

Pepperidge Farm goldfish crackers. They are about half the size of a Cheezit. About as big as a fingernail. A little puffy fish-shaped cracker. Like an animal cracker cookie, but its a cheese cracker, and there is just the one fish shape. The ad used to say, "The only snack that smiles!" Babies eat them like they eat Cheerios cereal, as a finger food. They are very tasty!

[unaluna]

I got a new glucose meter system in the mail from my insurance company. Yo my blood sugar is way up, like 250-350. The meter told me to get it down to 180. Well thats what i was running at, and my dr always crabs at me!

[Deilla]

I did well today. I want a snack now. But I'll pick something healthy.

back to eating badly and not enjoying my food

6 days to friday...

[Mountaindewed]

I had a bowl of oatmeal and a couple little bags of Goldfish. Then I got an unwhich from Jimmy Johns for lunch. I had that almost 3 hours ago and I usually am in bed by 5:30. So I should probably have a snack even though I’m not hungry. I want to stay ahead of my hunger so I’m not ravenous by 5:30. For the rest of the day I plan on having 2 more packages of Goldfish and 2 more bowls of oatmeal. I’m still low for the day, but whatever. I’ve been drinking a lot of water and diet sweet tea and I’ve been using the bathroom nonstop. I’m not necessarily thirsty, I just feel like drinking a lot of water for some reason. I think my mom is catching onto things a bit. She says I’m not eating. When I literally ate 4 bowls of oatmeal yesterday.

food was too chewy yesterday and I constantly choked on the meat

paying for it today.. feeling hungry and nauseious. I didn't eat much yesterday, and now I'm feeling it..

[Mountaindewed]

I just ate a rice cake with a glass of water. Yeah that’s real good behavior. 🙄 I’m in too good of a mood to eat much today and I keep losing track of the time because I’m really anticipating a delivery. So I can’t really focus on food today. I’m also having sensory issues with hot food. Which is an autism thing not an ED thing. So I can’t really emotionally handle eating oatmeal or ramen today. Which is all I have on my shelf. I did get a medium order of cheese fries this morning around 7 from Sonic. So I’ve had stuff.

I just had a bowl of instant Chinese noodles. They didn’t come with a flavor package or anything. I think you are supposed to add seasoning or meat to it yourself. I just ate it plain and it was pretty bland but I like bland foods. With bland foods it’s more the texture that I like.

I’m waiting on my soda to get here. It’s starting to become a bit late to drink a Mountain Dew though just because of my med schedule. So hopefully it gets here soon or I’ll have to wait until tomorrow to drink it

[Deilla]

I coped with food today. I ordered McDonald's. It was all bad stuff. I still feel stressed. I want Mexican tomorrow.

[Mountaindewed]

I had salad last night for dinner and this morning for breakfast. I had a candy bar with the salad too. I’ve been eating a lot of rice cakes but I’ve only been able to find a generic brand of white cheddar and Quaker chocolate ones. I’m trying to make sure my bloodwork is ok for my surgery so that’s why I bought some more salad kits today. I did also buy Oreo pancake mix because I don’t like to cut out junk food. I try not to cut out any food group but I normally eat the same things all the time that are not really healthy. I’ve been trying to switch things up and add in more healthy things so things will be ok in October.

I’ve been eating a lot of rice cakes now instead of Goldfish. I was eating the blasted cheddar jacked ones and it was getting to be too messy. I have a bag of whole grain ones I should try. I’ve heard they are less messy and also less salty. I’ve cut back on my ramen and oatmeal too.

Basically these last 2 days I mostly just ate rice cakes, and salad. I had that full calorie Mountain Dew yesterday. I did have a pack of quest protein cups today. But I had about 6 rice cakes today. I wish I could find some other flavors. I have a bag of chocolate ones but you can’t eat those the way you can with the other flavors.

[Deilla]

I ate twice before 9 am. I usually eat once. But I was stressed.

[Mountaindewed]

I saw a dermatologist today. She had to look at a spot on my foot. She asked if I was on my feet a lot and I said no. She didn’t make any comment about me needing to lose weight. Not sure if that would apply to this or not but I know being heavy can be tough on your feet. So she must not have thought the spot was related to weight or that I was that big. Actually no doctor has brought up me losing weight. A nurse at my old clinic said weight loss would help out my chest. But the only times doctors have mentioned my weight is when I ask them about it. But I am now comfortably in a smaller size in pants and the next size is too big. Shirts are obnoxious since almost every men’s brand is too big. And being a 28 year old dude shopping in the boys department is just odd. Hollister does makes plain colored XS shirts though. It still has their small red bird logo on the upper left side though. But it’s ok. That is the brand I usually wear. Fruit Of The Looms smalls fit too.

[Deilla]

I was hungry in the middle of the night, so I ate an apple.

[Mountaindewed]

My restriction is strong today. I chugged a lot of water and diet soda today. I just now med manipulated like crazy so I could fall asleep fast. I ate but stuff like rice cakes and Goldfish crackers. I got a chili cheese dog around 2:45. I felt a bit guilty eating it because of my cholesterol. But I just drank water for the rest of the day and night.

I don’t know if what I’m currently feeling is med related or hunger pangs.

yesterday i binged and ate

Possible trigger:

4000 calories

. i ran 5 miles and did a little "strength training". today i compensated by running 12 miles and eating

Possible trigger:

1200

calories. so my net intake for today and yesterday is

Possible trigger:

1900

per day.

if you ask me i'm pretty dumb and no wonder i keep getting injured

[Mountaindewed]

I did pretty good today. I didn’t restrict but I didn’t overeat. I stayed right at my Noom goal. I didn’t have any regular soda. I think that makes me hungry. I think it’s a proven fact actually that regular soda makes you hungry. I had a couple cans of zero sugar soda but they don’t mess with me. I had a couple mugs of black unsweetened flavored teas too. I had a lot of zucchini for lunch and dinner. I had cereal at 1:30AM, a bowl at 7AM, and a 3rd one at noon. All were without milk. I have a feeling I’ll get it from my therapist tomorrow about all the cereal since it’s a safe food. Unless I just don’t tell her. I’m eating Honey Nut Cheerios and Special K. So not like Reese’s Puffs or the real unhealthy stuff. Although I do have unopened boxes of Honey Comb and Cookie Crisp cereals. I also had a rice cake and a bowl of oatmeal today. Both are safe foods. But I did get some nova lox for breakfast from Einstein Bros. So it wasn’t all just my regular safe food. I don’t eat zucchini much either. But it’s the only vegetable I’ll eat.

I’m doing a bit of med manipulation right now by taking my melatonin a couple hours ago and waiting until it kicks in so I can take my 160mil of Geodon and just go to sleep.

[Mountaindewed]

I keep getting asked if I eat meat. So it’s not ok to go a few days at a time without eating meat? I eat meat but not everyday. And I don’t eat like hunks of roast beef and chicken and stuff like that. But I’ll eat it in stuff. I like Sonics chili cheese dogs although they make me feel guilty.

I told my therapist money is pretty tight right now and she was asking if that’s why I eat the same foods all the time. But no I do not eat the same things because of financial reasons. Although I haven’t gotten groceries in awhile because I buy a lot of inexpensive food at one time that lasts me a long time.

I keep looking at videos I took of myself when underweight.

I feel huge.

I binged this morning, not too bad, but still. unfortunate. wondering what effect my eating habits have had on my teeth,