[Deilla]

I had some issues today.

[Blue_Bird]

I purged tonight, frustrated with myself

[downandlonely]

My issue has always been overeating, not restricting or purging, so for a long time I couldn't admit that I had an eating disorder. But when I finally did and joined Overeaters Anonymous it helped me a lot. They also have people in that fellowship who restrict and purge (not just those who overeat).

It was a little tough coming to India though, because diets here tend to be high carb and low protein. And I don't really feel satisfied eating that way, and it's also not good for me when I'm prediabetic. But I explained it to my family, and they did get eggs for me to have with breakfast, and I am eating meat with my other meals.

[Anrea]

Day 22 complete. Yesterday I ate low through the day and a big meal at supper. I was too full to binge after that. I have a sedentary lifestyle, so I don't need as much as another person, but I'm finding 2 meals a day is enough for me. I do need either that full feeling at nighttime to not want to binge. Veggies don't always give me that. Good luck and focus to you all.

[Mountaindewed]

Today I've been hungry but I've been managing with high protein foods and a pitcher of unsweetened cold brew iced tea. Plus mindfullness and motivation/thinking of the big picture and using distraction and all that other stuff they teach you in Noom. My mom is making banana bread and it smells so good. I have my meals logged I think through Tuesday. But today I had stuff planned out but I strayed away from a lot of it. Overall I didn't restrict today but I did eat dinner too early. So I hope that doesnt cause issues at 1:30AM. I'm really into drinking Sunkist zero sugar. I like it way more then I expected to the only issue is that it is the only orange soda to have caffeine. So I have to watch it.

I did log in my favorite candy bar for tommorow. I think and my therapist does too that I just like them for psychlogical reasons. But I'll have room tommorow for it.

[Mountaindewed]

I basically just snacked today. I did have a couple pouches of tuna and a yogurt and a little cup of soup. I didnt restrict I just didnt eat any actual meals. I just grazed all day. What I ate was a mixture of unhealthy and healthy.

[Anrea]

Made it through day 23 Pleased with the amount I ate. It was a lot, just mostly veggies, so low cals. Tuna fish and egg whites helped with the protein / hunger..

[Mountaindewed]

I kinda restricted today but it was due more to nerves and just being out of the house most of the day and not having the time to eat.

[Anrea]

Made it through day 24. Still struggling at night, but eating smart is allowing me to eat a lot and still stay within a healthy caloric limit. Example, I used to pot hundreds of calories of ranch dressing on a 'healthy' salad. But when I learned what a waste of calories this was, i adjusted. I add herbs and spices with a very small amount of ranch, and I find I don't miss the 'drench'. I love broccoli, but instead of putting tablespoons of butter on it, I add some soy sauce instead. Again, saves hundred or more unneeded calories. I still daydream about my baked potatoes with butter though. Can't figure out a way to eat baked potatoes that I will like as well. :/ Oh well, tomorrow is another day. Keep trucking along, everybody.

[Mountaindewed]

I ate dinner really early again. I hope I don't wake up at midnight hungry like I did last night. I'm out of those little Reeses and Philadelphia cream cheese pudding things. I wanted a piece of Sams Club pizza and it was about 2PM when I ate it. So I guess I may have restricted a bit today. I might go get a zero sugar Sprite to have now.

Again today it seemed to be more nerves and just in general not feeling well

[Anrea]

26 days. I need to make myself eat a little more. I'm overly worried about my calories (brand new thought pattern) - and not getting close to the daily amount most days, and feeling guilty when I do. This is kind of a restrictive mindset that caused the problems in the first place. When I don't eat enough so that I get hungry, then the binging happens, and the desire to purge after that. How carefully I have to guide my mind through this healing process causes tension.

[Mountaindewed]

I did get up at midnight and I had a candy bar and a little pack of almond butter. I havent had much of an appeite today and right now I feel quite sick actually. So today again it seems to be more restricting because of something physical.

[Mountaindewed]

Today it was more of the just not feeling good stuff. I do worry about things getting real bad when I return to work since the busier I am the less I eat. Not excatly on purpose, I often just forget and I can't feel my hunger when I am busy.

I havent been in the mood for much soda but I have been replacing the soda with water.

[Anrea]

28 days purge free. I ate all day long though. I ate smart, so it was within a healthy calorie count, but this constant grazing when I'm not really hungry will lead right back to binging if I'm not careful.

[Mountaindewed]

I could barely eat anything today. It took me all day to eat a small tube of chocolate candies. I try not to drink regular soda but I had a regular Pepsi just for the sugar. I ate most of a bag of cauliflower for dinner. I took a couple bites of canned chicken for lunch. These last couple nights I've been going to bed early and I am legit tired and I am not waking up at 11-12 eating almond butter. I have a headache right now and I don't know if its from my unintentional restricting today. I think people understand I don't feel good and am not intentionally restricting.

[Anrea]

29 days complete. Today is the first part of Day 30 since my last purge. I had a special moment with my toilet this morning. I was cleaning it, and I believed I will never purge it in again. "I reject you", I thought. I believe this is truth. The emotion feels solid and sure. It hasn't been that long, but I really feel done with the purging part of B/P. Going forward, I have to focus on not binging. But I will still count the days since my last purge. That is the real milestone that changed my eating habits.

[Anrea]

Made it 31 days. Today I ate like 15 small pieces of chocolate and too many pork rinds though. A mini binge because it was outside of my plans, and against my new eating habits. I don't know what triggered it. That is a problem. I think it was compulsion. I meant to have 1, then 2... maybe 5. They were small, then it just took off from there.

[MuddyBoots]

So while I was in the hospital I was reassured I probably do not have an actual eating disorder, but rather just use binging and purging due to PTSD. I'm not sure how this is different, but apparently it is so...? yeah...

[Anrea]

Back to day 1. I ended up B/P last night. 2800 calories. I have been changing my diet to be very low cal, with none of the reward foods I had for years. I think it was too drastic a change without any rewards. Plus, I was constantly hungry in a different way (low carbs and protein). I also had quit taking a medicine that caused me to eat too much on Nov. 21st, but the Dr. told me to keep it as a PRN. Well, I had taken it on Dec. 15th. Dec 16th was my last B/P. Then the day before yesterday I took it again. I had forgotten that when I went into compulsive eating last night. I wish I had remember, maybe I at least would have stopped the purge. I had been doing so good. Oh well. - Edit addition - I called the Dr. today and told him I wouldn't take them again because of the B/P. He prescribed something else.

[Blue_Bird]

I made it to 10 days without binge/purge/restricting!

[Mountaindewed]

I just do better mentally and physically when I don't eat a lot. I sleep better on an empty stomach. I don't have the intense stomach pains or anxiety. I just do better overall.

[Anrea]

Day 2 complete. I'm trying to use the "no restriction" mind frame to avoid binging (which leads to a purge). I am still under a (supposedly) healthy caloric limit. But I am sad at gaining since the binge, and the last 2 days of 'eating healthy'.

I have been really struggling with trying to be full- even with my snacks

food is getting worse (like main meals), and their's nothing I can do about it. I can't cook properly, so need to rely on candy or takeout, and even that's not filling me up- most days now I feel faint from lack of food.
yesterday I even commented that I now know what it must feel like on one of those survival shows where they don't eat for days

struggling with food a lot..

[Anrea]

Completed day 3 of no B/P. Ate within a healthy caloric limit. But part of that was crackers and a doughnut. I think I did that to prove to myself that I can eat foods other than healthy, low calorie. The restrict mind frame seems to lead to a binge.

[Anrea]

Day 5 complete. my Dr. changed my anxiety med, so hopefully this one won't cause the binge urge. I keep giving into the desire to eat with low cal options, so I'm staying under a healthy caloric level. I give in because I am so scared of going backwards again. Not having the restricting mind frame is keeping me from binge triggers.