[Mountaindewed]

I’m still in denial that I have an issue but I guess today there was a bit of disordered thinking and behaviors going on. I chugged 3 diet sodas and a large unsweetened iced tea to avoid my hunger. But I mean I still ate 1200 calories. It’s just confusing and I don’t like talking about my habits with people because they assume stuff I’m not sure is there. But I do body checks every time I look in a mirror and I often weigh myself 2 times a day. My 7 year old nephew commented on my weight loss. He indicated I was fat before. Although they are not allowed to use that word so he said the F word. I didn’t hear the whole conversation. But he was being nice and my mom told him I work hard. But I wonder if it’s an issue if a kid is noticing. I don’t know. I don’t like talking about it irl.

I had no choice but to eat candy yesterday (well I guess I had a choice, but I was so hungry)

today I have eaten sausage rolls for breakfast and planning on mcdonalds for dinner

I just finished my mcdonalds, and actually quite full from it.

no candy tonight!

[Deilla]

I did a lot of stress eating last night. I feel awful about it.

pizza and garlic bread was good today

2 good meals in a row is a bit of a record... go me..

[Deilla]

I overate a little bit last night. I wanted to make sure I didn't wake up hungry. So far I haven't had anything else to eat. I'm still full.

my dinner didn't agree with me again.

now where have I seen that before...

ug....

as much as my pizza tasted good yesterday, I found I didn't enjoy it much because of my nausea. didn't eat well yesterday.

[Mountaindewed]

My mind can’t even comprehend the thought of dinner tonight. I was going to have oatmeal. I think it’s the Valium and the new melatonin. Lol. The lady just said melatonin on jeopardy.

I am so sick of inadequate food.

you know it's bad when you have dinner, and you feel hungrier after it than before

blah need to eat something that's actually tasty

and here we go again.... doing nothing with my day. woohoo

[Mountaindewed]

I only ate one time today. About an hour total out of my day. But not nonstop either. I ate from about 7:30-8:30AM. I haven’t eaten since. I haven’t been too hungry since I did eat my daily calories. I am a bit lightheaded but I don’t think it’s food related. I’ve been walking a lot. I’m sure some therapist would give me grief about this but fasting and doing the one meal a day has been proven to be very helpful in weight loss and other areas.

[Deilla]

I've been eating a lot of cheese.

1 more sucky meal (1), then mcdonalds!

rejoyce!

[Fuzzybear]

I'm tempted to have chocolate and martini tonight

I am so hungry that I am not actually hungry

yesterday the food quality was so bad, it left me starving (even after some candy!). my stomach ached all night, I was nauseious, didn't feel good, and it's the same today.

even in the shower I was urg. this time it wasn't even about food not agreeing with me (which is usually the case), this time it was down to their just not being enough.

I am feeling a lot fuller after my mcdonalds yesterday

may not have been the healthiest choice, but I needed it to fill me up... apart from yesterday, really been struggling with eating good portions

[Mountaindewed]

Yesterday I had an Amy’s cheddar cheese burrito for breakfast. I think they are organic. They are the only frozen burritos I’ll eat. I’m not sure why. I pay $2.29 for a single one when I can get a whole package of El Paso for a similar price.

Then I got a plain ice cream sundae from Sonic. Just vanilla ice cream in a sundae cup. I really like Sonics ice cream but it tastes kinda weird. Like they mix whip cream in it or something.

Then dinner was a cup of seafood ramen. Just the noodles. I always dump out the broth in my ramen. That was at 3PM yesterday.

So I didn’t eat a lot but I wasn’t very hungry either.

[Mountaindewed]

Not gonna lie there’s been some definite food restriction going on these past few days. I still don’t think it’s a full blown out of control issue. I still eat.

[indigo1015]

I’m considering getting professional help again for my eating disorders— I’m nervous because frankly, my recent experiences with eating disorder clinics have been horrible. And I refuse to work with doctors on this because they are ginormous dickheads about eating disorders.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Deilla]

I'm afraid I'm snacking too much. It's mainly due to stress.

[Mountaindewed]

I didn’t realize just how much switching all my meds to at night would affect my relationship with food. I have almost zero desire to eat now. My mom wants to go out to lunch and dinner and do all kinds of things this week that I don’t. It’s kind of annoying that she doesn’t seem to get that this is also my vacation too. So I don’t get why we can’t compromise and do stuff we both want to.

[Deilla]

I over ate tonight. It's my fault cause I didn't eat enough during the day. I woke up and stress ate. I kept eating cause I felt like I was starving. Now I'm full and ashamed of myself. This is not good. I've been doing so well. I just have to make sure I eat my meals during the day. And if I eat in the middle of the night, just have a snack. Like an apple or nuts and cheese. I'm very upset with myself now. But tomorrow is a new day, right?

[Mountaindewed]

I hate eating in front of people. It’s one of my things. I can eat in front of my mom and at restaurants in front of strangers but not with my family. I don’t get it because they are the people who will not judge me. I have this weird issue with utensils and I prefer finger foods because I find the utensils awkward except for spoons. unless I can stab my fork into stuff and eat it barbaric style. I eat pasta super gross but I can’t twirl it and cutting it is hard. It’s just a sensory thing more then an eating thing. So if my restaurant food is too difficult to eat I just bring it home so I can eat it my way in private. So I think it’s more an autism thing.

Today I ate a large ice cream cone. It freaked me out a bit. But I ordered a small and I just tried ignoring the calories.

I didn’t go out to dinner for many reasons and I put all my snacks in the car. The only thing I have is a bottle of Mountain Dew baja blast zero in the fridge.

I don’t know if my family thinks it’s weird that I don’t eat in front of them. But I do eat.

[Deilla]

I did better today.

my digestive system is ****ed

once again, food just not agreeing with me

well, it's either the digestive system or the quality of the food, my guess it's a little of both