[Deilla]

I did well yesterday.

[Mountaindewed]

If I were still at my last place, I’d probably either be put IP, sent to IOP, or be switched over to a therapist who specializes in EDs. It’s tough to know just how much info to give to people so that your not sent to the hospital or not labeled an attention seeker either. But it took a long time to tell one of my T’s about my eating issues and that was back in summer of 2019. Then she just kinda went from there until in her opinion it got out of control in November 2020.

[Deilla]

I've been doing well.

no stomach ache yesterday but food still wasn't enough

was very hungry after and actually was going to have some pepermints.

ultimately I forgot about them though (I was doing something on the computer), but it does explain why I am still hungry now

[Mountaindewed]

My mom made burgers last night and I wasn’t going to eat one and then she offered to make me a turkey burger and I said yeah just so she’d leave me alone. She mentioned our eating habits to my sister when she was over yesterday and she said she doesn’t cook because we are always on our own by choice. She told my sister that I don’t eat much of anything. It’s just a combination of the med switch and choice. I get hungry but I can control it by med manipulation. I should Google what that actually means. I was only told once by a therapist that I do it and I just took after it after that and am calling my behavior that.

the ribbs I had this evening barely even touched my hunger

I am so hungry..

[Deilla]

I ate well today and I even went out to eat. I picked healthy stuff.

ate junkfood yesterday

chocolate, chips and candy.. the big 3

[Deilla]

I've been eating well.

[Mountaindewed]

This morning I had 3 non diet drinks and nothing to eat. But for lunch I got an extra roast beef extra tomato zero mayonnaise unwich from Jimmy Johns for lunch. I had Goldfish just now. For dinner I’ll have my usual ramen. I’m still pretty low but what I ate was decent. Maybe I’ll throw in some Quest protein peanut butter cups and get to an acceptable amount. But even with the protein cups it isn’t great.

I feel greatful I was able to eat anything today

bad stomach ache..

[Deilla]

I've been fine with my eating.

[Mountaindewed]

I ate Goldfish for breakfast. Then I had Cheerios for lunch because I’m worried about my cholesterol. I had a pack of Quest protein peanut butter cups for a snack. I ordered a burger from Applebee’s that was wrapped in lettuce instead of a bun. But it didn’t come wrapped in the lettuce it was just like the burger and 2 small pieces of lettuce that didn’t fit on the burger. So I ate them both separately. I tried eating the fries but my body said “not today satan.” I ate less then half of the small container. Then I needed a zofran right after because of a stomach ache. I had a couple zero sugar sodas and a couple big glasses of diet sweet tea today. I’m trying to drink a lot of water right now.

[Mountaindewed]

My body can’t seem to tell the difference between hunger and anxiety anymore. But at least I’m not nauseated today. I just ate some oatmeal and I feel better so I guess it was just my hunger. My microwave is broken and I hate using the stove because I’m worried I’ll cause a gas explosion or a fire. All I have is ramen and oatmeal that I always make in the microwave. I think I only used the oven once but I don’t have any frozen foods anyways.

My family came over and they didn’t say much to me. I don’t think they quite know how to respond to what’s been going on. My mom tells them everything.

[Deilla]

I'm still doing well.

[indigo1015]

I had a frozen banana with some peanut butter for breakfast and some tortilla chips with a little cheddar cheese and salsa for lunch. Probably not the best thing to have but at least my portions are smaller these days. I used my rowing machine today for the first time in months, and it felt really good, actually

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Mountaindewed]

These last couple days I’ve been exhausted during the day but not necessarily sleeping well at night. But I haven’t had much energy to eat and I’m not craving anything either. I’m kind of just eating to live at this point. My storage rack mainly has oatmeal and ramen on it. But since the microwave will be broken until Thursday or Friday and I’m scared of the stove and my mom gets pissed when I ask her to help me, I’ve just been going long hours without eating anything.

I am all ready back to bad, less than average meals

yesterday was a great example.. spent the night hungry- even though I did eat candy and chocolate

[Mountaindewed]

I had 3 servings of Goldfish today. Which is kind of unusual. I mean I had room for them but I normally just have one serving a day. Thats not very good that I’m adding in more servings of Goldfish but eating less of other things. It means that Goldfish are really becoming a main safety food. Then I had a measured out cup of Honey Nut Cheerios. I got an unwhich for a late lunch. Then I had a pack of protein peanut butter cups for a snack. Now I’m not sure what I’ll be eating for dinner. With the microwave still being broken until at least Thursday but possibly longer it’s been tough figuring out meals since I mainly eat ramen or oatmeal for dinner that I fix in the microwave. Last night my mom helped me with the ramen but I don’t want to ask her again. Maybe I’ll just have some dry special K cereal for dinner. I’m not hungry but I don’t want to be hungry so I have to stay ahead of it.

I do eat the same 4-5 things all the time but I think that’s more of an autism thing then an ED thing?

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I had 3 servings of Goldfish today. Which is kind of unusual. I mean I had room for them but I normally just have one serving a day. Thats not very good that I’m adding in more servings of Goldfish but eating less of other things. It means that Goldfish are really becoming a main safety food. Then I had a measured out cup of Honey Nut Cheerios. I got an unwhich for a late lunch. Then I had a pack of protein peanut butter cups for a snack. Now I’m not sure what I’ll be eating for dinner. With the microwave still being broken until at least Thursday but possibly longer it’s been tough figuring out meals since I mainly eat ramen or oatmeal for dinner that I fix in the microwave. Last night my mom helped me with the ramen but I don’t want to ask her again. Maybe I’ll just have some dry special K cereal for dinner. I’m not hungry but I don’t want to be hungry so I have to stay ahead of it.

I do eat the same 4-5 things all the time but I think that’s more of an autism thing then an ED thing?

...... goldfish?

you need to fill me in here. apart from the little things that swim around in tanks (I used to have some!), I don't know what they are.

yesterday I didn't enjoy my food, again

in fact: while I was eating, I was gagging on it

wasn't going well.. had some extra strong pepermints afterwards

[Deilla]

I ate a little bit too much last night. I haven't eaten yet this morning.

[Mountaindewed]

I told my therapist today my main food groups are
Oatmeal
Goldfish
Ramen
And Quest peanut butter cups.
Now I eat cereal too but I don’t think I told her that.

I mentioned my storage rack (she said where I keep my snacks) is full of pretty much only these things. She said oatmeal is healthy. Asked if I eat the whole grain kind of Goldfish. And seemed mildly interested in the protein cups.

She says I’m too focused on the numbers and not on what I’m eating or how I’m losing. In September she is switching me to someone who specializes in EDs and I wonder how that will go. If I do have one it’s probably just EDNOS. Which isn’t a big deal.

not doing great. my mind is at war.

wrote my shopping list yesterday.

mainly full of candy