[Deilla]

I hardly ate today. I made myself light-headed.

[MuddyBoots]

This is the stupidest ****ing disorder ever. Why the **** are my wires so crossed that I think dying is better than eating? Why was I thinking "yeah, that's kinda what I want," when the counselor was telling me how my organs would fail?

[Deilla]

I'm stressed today and so I overate at breakfast. I hate myself now. I hate the way I feel. I am angry. I don't feel like showing myself compassion. I'm pissed off.

I'm having a weird time.

jinxed myself. am now binging. i'm genuinely very hungry.

[Deilla]

I woke up in the middle of the night and had an Atkins shake.

[Mountaindewed]

I am really in no mood for food tonight. I did eat but before 11. I'm not necessairly restricting I'm just not intrested and I feel like its just a chore I dont want to do. I have therapy tomrrow but in the afternoon instead of in the morning. So she wont freak out as badly as if our session were at our usual moring time.

[Deilla]

I'm afraid I'm stress-eating. I had 2 yogurts today.

[Mountaindewed]

My therapist logged in what I ate on Tuesday and accidently logged in Afghan Shank instead of Atkins shake. We had a good laugh over it.

I have my Atkins stuff packed for my trip so I can avoid being hangry like last week and also so I can stay on track. I do not plan on giving myself a break even for Thanksgiving. Since I'm so close to one of my goals. Although I may make room for a piece of pie friday morning if my mom will offer to bring me back one since I dont like to deny myself either.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by Deilla

I'm afraid I'm stress-eating. I had 2 yogurts today.

I'm not trying to jump down your throat or anything but you do know yogurt is super healthy right? Unless you have stomach issues and can't handle the dairy or something. But yogurt has a ton of calcium and protein and has good bacteria that helps your body fight off infections. I eat it daily.

2 yogurts seems perfectly fine and healthy. Same with the swiss and cheddar you eat. Zero carbs. Tons of protein.

I'm just trying to help

[Deilla]

I'm not hungry but I wish I were. I would like to eat something. It would comfort me.

[Mountaindewed]

My body has had enough to eat but my mind is still hungry. Kinda weird I dont normally feel like this. I only eat when I'm legit hungry I never force myself. But right now I'm in between wanting to fix and eat baked brie cheese and keeping in mind the 2 new pairs of jeans and the new button shirt I ordered today. I did eat healthy though today besides the 3 cookies but I allow myself a treat each day. I hit my protein goal, and stayed under my carb and sodium goal. I also try to drink an entire pitcher of unsweetened caffeine free iced tea a day.

[Blue_Bird]

I forgot to eat all day today except a protein bar and handful of trail mix, and I ended up feeling nauseous probably because of that. So I had myself eat a sandwich like 15 minutes ago and am starting to feel better. I haven't purged in about a week I think.

[Blue_Bird]

And... I ended up purging tonight, so tired of this

[Deilla]

I'm not hungry but I want to eat. I wish I had yogurts still. That would do the trick and it's not bad for you. I do have plums. Maybe I will eat a plum.

[Mountaindewed]

My mom might have gotten me a regular mountain dew instead of zero. I couldnt tell the diffrence but I drank it anyways. Now I am hoping my pouch of tuna is enough for dinner. I had other plans besides tuna but without knowing if the soda was zero or not I have to stick with tuna. So basically today I either restricted or went slightly above my goal. My mom was like "just splurge" yeah not happening. I just hope my hunger stays as calm as it currently is.

not doing well at all.

stuffing my face with christmas candy- and it isn't just that, it only arived this morning and it's almost gone, so.... not doing great at all

[Mountaindewed]

I've been on track today but its been hard to get the motivation to eat. I've been eating indvidual wrapped pieces of cheese to make it to my goal. I think its a physical issue again. I go for labs on Monday and I see my doctor on Friday. So hopefully I get some answers. I wish I had a zofran right now though.

I have a lot of stuff I've been saving throughout the year that I want to treat myself to the week of Christmas. I have 4 little plastic dollar store containers full of candy bars, some of them are exotic ones I got online and at international markets. I have a bottle of a fancy brand of eggnog and a few sodas I bought from Ebay. I also have a bag of unique chips I got on vacation in the summer that are still good. Hopefully I can actually eat most of this stuff since some of it has just been sitting since before I moved. I am still working my way through a 30 count box of chocolate paydays I got in April.

[Mountaindewed]

I took my hungry meds and I got, well hungry. Snacky is more like it. On the postive side I'm finally eating my massive food supply. I've been collecting things for awhile just not eating them. But I went through things today and I gave away alot of stuff and now I know what I have. I still have 5 little plastic containers full of candy though. I also downsized on my tea collection and I kept mostly just my exotixc boxes from Russia. I still have a ton of stuff though.

[Deilla]

I've been eating well.

[Mountaindewed]

I got 2 drinks yesterday from an indian grocery store. One expired in May. I mean it tasted ok but I dont know since I've never had It before. It was flat but maybe it was supposed to be. Then the second one I couldnt tell when it expired but I think in November. Again it wasnt bad but how should I know. I took 2 pepcid so hopefully it helps. I mean I doubt I'll get like boutoullism or anything. I just feel like crap right now

My stomach still hurts. I took my sleep meds so hopefully whatever it is, anxiety or a legit stomach ache, will pass by the morning.

[Blue_Bird]

Not doing well again, purged tonight

[Mountaindewed]

I did good today. I didnt eat any candy. I had a few diet and zero sugar sodas but I also had a couple clementines. I rarely eat fruit. I also had 2 pouches of tuna which have a ton of protein and zero carbs. I was a little over my goal but it wasnt a big deal.

I want to get some frozen tamales in the morning. I have a hankering for them as my mom would say.

[unaluna]

I looooove tamales. Corn just speaks to me. I think its in my genes.

[MuddyBoots]

b/p'd three times since coming home from the hospital 12 hours ago.... pas bon. And they didn't even dx me with an eating disorder because last time I didn't eat was because of paranoia. This time I heard voices but they were more of the "fat pig dont' eat that tubby" variety. My first doc was a sham who did nothing but give me urinary retention (leading to a foley catheter that dislodged and caused some damage). My 2nd doc was comparatively a saint but to my eating issues all he says was "good luck with the eating issues" on my discharge day. It's not like I lied to them either. Straight up told them "I don't think I need to be here, but my friend is worried about a potential eating disorder and my mom's worried about my lack of sleep" so they called me manic and send me on my way.