i binged on cheese just now due to work stress

i decided to go on lunch break to calm down

luckily i think i solved my extreme hunger i was experiencing earlier this year.

i reached just over

Possible trigger:

2000 cals

and i feel full.

i'm working out tonight so it won't be too bad.

i hope to maintain my weight or lose a couple lbs. i feel enormous after gaining 8 lbs this year. i made a video of me working out yesterday and theres fat on my belly

part of what set me off binging was i wasn't able to workout this morning and my roommate was using the kitchen so i wasnt in control of my food

i need to wake up early so i have control of the kitchen before anyone else is up

I have been throwing away a lot of out of date food

most of it candy

I can't believe I have candy that would make me that sick but I do.. I need to start checking the dates more often, because my food supply is a mess!- stuff I can eat, stuff I can't, I'm even treading on candy as I walk- I've loads of it
still been eating too much of it and not enough regular normal food. it's not good, but.. what can you do. my cooking is so bad I don't have a choice

[Mountaindewed]

Yesterday I had an episode that caused a massive panic attack that was most likely traced back to the lack of food I’ve been eating lately. Today I feel better about that particular situation. I finished the fish from last night around 3:30 this morning. I opened 2 more boxes of cereal after finishing the last 2 boxes and I had one bowl of each kind. One for breakfast and one for lunch. I had some ramen for a second lunch. Then I had an apple cinnamon rice cake for an afternoon snack and I just now had a bowl of Trix oatmeal. It’s more then I normally eat but it wasn’t too bad. Only 1620 calories. I also had a small pumpkin cold brew since they are back at Dunkin Donuts. I don’t want to get into the habit of drinking coffee again but I love the pumpkin stuff. Especially when it first comes out.

[Deilla]

I've been doing well with my eating.

I had a good mcdonalds yesterday

still I had some snacks after though.. not really needed but

[Deilla]

I've been eating in the middle of the night.

[Mountaindewed]

Today I was kinda hungry. I was trying one small thing after another to see if that would help. Now I’m just lying in bed after taking 2 melatonin kind of early. At least for me. But I’ll hopefully just sleep through my hunger.

I had a bowl of cereal, a chocolate bar, 3 rice cakes, a bowl of instant rice noodles without the broth, a can of roast beef, a piece of toast with melted American cheese on it, and a mini cotton candy blizzard from Dairy Queen.

[Deilla]

I'm doing fairly well tonight. I'm not hungry.

[Mountaindewed]

I don’t seem to be restricting today. At least I don’t see it that way. I seem to be just doing regular dieting. But my moods have improved after eating a legit lunch. So I do seem to be getting hangry a lot when I am restricting. And sometimes things can get a bit out of control with my moods.

[Deilla]

I just had fruit tonight.

[Mountaindewed]

My doctor said on Monday that I don’t have an ED. My therapists aren’t so sure. I have been drinking a ton of water to help me with my anxiety. And then the water fills me up. I also get distracted by books and other things and I lose track of the time and I forget to eat. I just suck at eating but I’m not sure its classified as a disorder as much as me just being lazy and forgetful.

[Mountaindewed]

The mirrors at the stores were super distorted. It was discouraging. Even my chest looked off and I’ve been super happy with the results. My mirrors at home are fine so I thought I looked good. Now with work coming up I feel like I have this image to keep up.

[Deilla]

I ate yesterday when I wasn't hungry. I was stressed.

[Mountaindewed]

I ate today but nothing substantial or nutritious. I stayed in my goal though.

[Deilla]

I did well yesterday. So far this morning is good too.

[Mountaindewed]

I ate today so my metabolism wouldn’t become slow. But I wasn’t hungry so I mainly just ate cereal. I haven’t stomached dinner yet. I’m going to eat salmon because it makes your mental health better. At least according to Noom. I gave up on that and I’m just using the tracking part now. The reading was too much to read and comprehend and remember every day.

[Mountaindewed]

I’ve allowed myself to eat more today then I usually would since I feel like I’m too low and I ran errands instead of just sitting in bed all day. I also had stuff at midnight. But I just don’t have an appetite for anything. I did eat though today. But just the usual. I got a package of Oreos for some reason. I don’t usually eat sweets. But they are lemon ones. Lemon cookies and lemon filling. Not any type of chocolate ones. It’s not that I don’t buy that stuff because I don’t have the self control. It’s just I don’t have a desire to eat it. But I did eat a candy bar last night. Not sure why. But meat and sweet stuff I don’t eat much and I think it’s change in hormones. I eat rice cakes a lot but I haven’t touched my chocolate ones. The last time I ate meat that wasn’t little pieces in food was Sunday when I had a couple pieces of pork roast. My mom was looking at sirloin steak at the store and it looked pretty unappetizing.I crave carbs like crazy though.

[Deilla]

I overate a little bit at lunch. I wanted to make sure I wouldn't be hungry again for a while.

been in hospital so not had a whole lot of choice in terms of food.

since I've been home I've only had 2 bags of candy, some chocolate and a steak- I came home yesterday evening, so it's not bad at all

still really hungry though

[Deilla]

I did well today.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m wondering if constipation is causing my lack of appetite. I mean I went a lot a few days ago. Not sure why I’m having upper back and chest pain if it’s constipation. Unless that skateboarding yesterday just really ****ed with me. My mom says she’s worried I’m working myself into an eating disorder because I just don’t eat much anymore. I don’t know. I mean yeah I’m trying to lose weight but it’s just been effortless lately because of the loss of appetite. Even when I tell myself I can go up to maintenance I just cant.

But maybe I’ll go chug some mirolax and whatever that other one is. And as one of my doctors said “everything will just come out.”

[Blue_Bird]

I’m starting to struggle with my ED again. I was recovering for a long while but several months ago I started struggling again and it’s just gotten worse so I’m gonna have to talk to my therapist about it when we talk again. I’m not purging anymore, which is good. But I’m going back and forth between restricting and bingeing.

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[Deilla]

I did some stress eating tonight. I am very upset. I can't sleep. So food seemed like the right choice.

2 nights, 2 takeouts

not good.. but need to fill up after hospital

[Deilla]

I am doing well. I'm not really that hungry.