I try so hard...

I have to post.... I am so so so sorry to be a bummer... but if I don't post... I will do more...

I ate a whole box of Fruit loops... and sick.. of course.. cause flooded my system with so much sugar...

I.. binged.. passed out.. binged passed out all weekend.. from father's day... pain... so hard to honor a person.. that hurt you..

I want to... and really think... that my fellow alter will get a tattoo.. it will... say

UNLOVABLE

on the inside of my arm... running upward...

I truely... think this will "fix" my eating disorder.... I think that if I mark.. what I am... what I truely am.. on the inside.. and outside.. that maybe I won't have to ED anynore..

My therapist figured out... that my ED.. started when I was in 2nd grade... always the small child... but learned how to binge... then not eat for days....

my mom... had an ED... my sister... my nephew.. and me...

The tattoo.. would fix everything..

UNLOVEABLE... by my parents... by my sister.. by the world..

do you understand... how it would fix it???? I do...

I'm sorry, freewill....I really don't understand.

You are very lovable. You are YOU.

I've been thinking about getting about getting a tattoo, but one that says strength. so everytime i look down at it, i can remember the pain it caused me and that i made it through, just like i will make it through and beat my ed. stay strong love.

I am sorry you are in so much pain but looking down at your arm and reading "UNLOVABLE" everyday for the rest of your life will make you feel worse and will feed your eating disorder, not fix it.
That is just my opinion. I wish I could help you get past this.
Are you in therapy? Are you getting help for your ED?

Free, =( we all gotta do what we gotta do. I personally think that you are the opposite of unlovable. And that if you are going to affirm something on your body for the next age, affirm something good and really true about yourself. The truth is not that word. that is the truth of the *feelings* - the pain, the hatred, anger.... but it is not what is true about you. hard to hear sometimes.
((((((((((((freewill)))))))))
maybe tatoo "Free!"

i got a tattoo of my favourite flower to symbolize courage when things were really bad at home and i needed to keep plodding towards leaving even though i was so afraid. i got that instead of "i am brave" which is what i really wanted at first. i figured that people would be constantly asking what the thing was about. You might want to consider that.

"unlovable" might be something you will change in your thinking. You might consider a symbolic thing instead... then if you change your mind you can see it as a symbol of growth and change.... and you won't have to explain any of it to anyone. My next one is going to be a lotus. In tattooing it traditionally represents arriving at the end of a long journey.

spend time thinking about this.

((((((((((((freewill)))))))))))))

You have done so much to be there for me~ PM me and keep me updated! You are a very caring person!