[ginniesky]

i have been eating 500 calories or less a day for the past week i went down 300 calories was eating 800 .....i can't seem to ask for help though ..... i am afraid to let anyone too close afriad to ask for help .....

Originally Posted by ginniesky

i have been eating 500 calories or less a day for the past week i went down 300 calories was eating 800 .....i can't seem to ask for help though ..... i am afraid to let anyone too close afriad to ask for help .....

Hi Ginniesky,

Beautiful name.

I love horses . They are magnificient creatures and I'll bet you are also . They can't continue to gallop or wave thier gourgoes manes if they eat only a couple of muffins a day.

I do understand not wanting any help. I wanted to keep doing what I was doing . Ten years of doing it my way . Thats a long time . When I finnally decided I wanted a better life like others were having I found I couldn't trust. I feared that if I asked for help they would NOT let me find my own way. What did happen was when I did ask for help was surprising .No one locked me into a stable or placed a harness on me like I was afraid of .

I got to make those choices for myself .

No one can or cannot make you do anything, Ginniesky,

Unless it gets to the point where your life is at risk . Thats when a line is drawn because there are people who love you . The world would just not be the same with your missing piece of the puzzel.

For example Im still working on my stuff.
I currently have a clutter problem I'm strugling with .

I was just fantisizing today a what if situation. What if someone came swooping in and said I'm here to save the day. Were gonna clear out the clutter of your apartment so you can have a life.

{I'm still not letting love in Ginnysky but Im working on it. }

So back to the fantasy. LOL!!!!

First I thought . uhh no way Id let them see how Im living ( shame)

second . Its my life my stuff . I wouldn't want someone to just come in hand cuff me and say .

"too bad. this is gonna happen."

plus it wouldn't help me in the future if I got stuck again.

I needed the freedom to deside and do the hard work ..

For me.

What is it you need Ginney?
assurance your beautiful , smart talanted?
That your not fat but desirable ?

fear of not being able to harness the voracious hunger ?

and it IS voracious.

you tell me .

Ill be here.

and theres no way I can come get you.

Aurora

[Zorah]

(((((ginniesky)))))

great reply there by Auroralso

[jenny_bulimia]

Originally Posted by ginniesky

i have been eating 500 calories or less a day for the past week i went down 300 calories was eating 800 .....i can't seem to ask for help though ..... i am afraid to let anyone too close afriad to ask for help .....

I agree. You do need help. It sounds like you're starving yourself. Unless you have some physiological reason for not being hungry, like the stomach flu, this extremely minimal calorie intake qualifies as anorexia, and if you have psychological or compulsive reasons for eating so little, you most likely have anorexia nervosa. (Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor so you'd need to get a pro to make an accurate diagnosis.) I have bulimia, so I understand the fear of gaining weight, which is the mask we with eating disorders use to cover our emotional pain.
You're not alone. Please get help. It's out there. Maybe just a phone call or e-mail away.

Originally Posted by jenny_bulimia

I agree. You do need help. It sounds like you're starving yourself. Unless you have some physiological reason for not being hungry, like the stomach flu, this extremely minimal calorie intake qualifies as anorexia, and if you have psychological or compulsive reasons for eating so little, you most likely have anorexia nervosa. (Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor so you'd need to get a pro to make an accurate diagnosis.) I have bulimia, so I understand the fear of gaining weight, which is the mask we with eating disorders use to cover our emotional pain.
You're not alone. Please get help. It's out there. Maybe just a phone call or e-mail away.

Hi Jenny,

welcome to the fold ,

For me it was first compulsive over eating which turned to bulimia . when I saw I needed to control it because I truly was out of control. I was sleeping and would eat as soon as I woke up and then went back to sleep . It was the reminder of My mother telling me what she did when young and wouldn't you know My first boyfriend was a wrestler and he told me he threw up in order to loose weight and he rejected me for being over weight.

How do you spell set up.

I tried it and it was just so easy for me it became a curse..

I became anorexic in it took the form of not having anything in my body in order to lose weight.

I would hopped on the scale every day . My body image was skewed. To put words to it now i would say I had a FAT brain that made me FEEL fat which translated into the mirror when I looked at myself.

When I feel fat its usually that Im hurt or have been rejected just a list of negative messages that get in my mind and collect and gather and escalate.

Then I open the fridge door and say ..

"Is there any one in there that can help me ."

Or puruse the store isles thinking "a bag of several would be nice" and the rationalization comes in as to "I can handel this" or "I SHOULD be able to"
Thats a tip off im in trouble . If it gets home It calls to me . Its not worth it.

If i pay attention to how I set myself up I can change my mind . change the scenary , Move a muscle change a thought.

I still have some fears more for the future (if Im so lucky to have another day.} I do very well on my own . Its when others enter the picture and try to mange My disorder that adds anxziety . Makes me have to assert my boundries . I just don't want to explain or reveal to others .And thats work for me. I practice by chatting in the miorr in preparation for the right gental yet strong words to use.

Another thread for another day. Glad your here . together we can help ourselves .

Aurora

[ginniesky]

something happened last night and i want to try to start eating again the only problem is that my stomach isn't used to having food in it anymore and i get really sick when i eat ....does anyone have any ideas what i could do to ease the pain a little when i eat? i am afraid to go to my doctor but what do you guys think ? do you think i need to?

Originally Posted by ginniesky

something happened last night and i want to try to start eating again the only problem is that my stomach isn't used to having food in it anymore and i get really sick when i eat ....does anyone have any ideas what i could do to ease the pain a little when i eat? i am afraid to go to my doctor but what do you guys think ? do you think i need to?

Hi Ginniesky,

This sounds good Ginnie , I do remember having difficulty with the uncomfortable feelling of having food in my stomach but did not have pain.

I woud try to get as comfortable as I could after eating a small meal . wrap myself in a blanket in a chair or lay down and try to go to sleep. I did that alot. many times I woud cry myself to sleep. But at least I slept finnaly.
It's possible the pain could be an ulcer possibly or something else . It might be a good thing to go to the doctor . That maybe scary for you . Can you try eating baby food first and see if the pain is still present? Start out small .

One time went to the doctor and was ill . The doctor asked me If I threw up.

And I said do you mean when I have a bug ?

And he lit into me . Got angry at me started telling me lots of stuff. I was shaking and sweat was dripping from my arm pits.
I wasn't hiding anything. I was already in recovery. Had stopped the purging for most of the time .It was in my charts I was in recovery.

I was still so vulnerable as to what was appropriate behavior from doctors.

Do you have a friend you trust that you can tell what you want to start doing ? someone that can go with you so you would feel safe that no one would do anything to you or say things that may be harmful?

I'd go with you If I were there I really would . Not a problem.
Maybe some others will chime in with some other ideas.

Stay safe.

Patricia

A PS,

I noticed in your profile your a mother and a SA victium. I am also and have had numerous ones as an adult . One by a doctor who was an alergist. I was 26 when both of the incidents I have shred here happened. A few years ago I pulled my medical records and read where the doc that molested me wrote that I was sufferig from sever emotional problems and seeing a therapist.

He Knew . that makes it ..................

There was no nurse in the room when he gave me a breast exam that wasn;t one but said he was going to. Took me many years to aske the question if a breast exam was protocol for alergy tests.
The answer was NO.

Perpetrators can sence easy prey.

This is unforgivable but no one at the hospital cared truely nothing they could or would do.

Protect yourself always. Ginniesky.


Always request a nurse to be with you for all procedures. I do to this day. I also request a female doctor .

Patricia

[bchlyn]

i am pretty much in the same place... my average is about 6-8 hundred cals a day... i am having some medical complications that have caused me to have to go to a registered dietitian... she wants me eating a min of 1400 cals (which i haven't been able to do)... i am finding soft smooth & light things are the easiest for me... she tells me to eat small amounts often... not to go more then 4 hours (haven't been able to do that)... she wants me to eat 80g of protein a day (which isn't possible for me yet)... good luck...lyn

[x_BabyG_x]

Well personally, I think you have taken the first step in askin for help by posting on here, so well done for that!!

I think going to the doctors and explaining your situation would be a great way to try and get you back on track and eating well. im really proud of you for admitting that you need help, I know it must have been a great big step for you. Get yourself an apointment and see how it goes

Much love, babyg xXx