I lied to my therapist and now I need help :(

I'm 19 and I've been diagnosed with GAD. I've been seeing a psychologist for 8 months. I'm really shy as it is so it takes me a very long time to be comfortable with people. Anyways, I had a session this morning and at the end of the session she asked me if there was anything that I wanted to bring up that we didn't get a chance to, I said no. I lied to her. My week was HORRIBLE. One of the worst weeks I've ever had. There was so much I wanted to tell her but I was so terrified and also afraid of crying (she knows that I'm scared of that). So I don't know if she noticed that I was hiding something but she told me that if there was anything that I wanted to share or if something did come up then I could email her anytime I want. I don't want to email her, I want to tell her. I have an appointment next week but I'm terrified. Should I just email her about what I didn't say?

Thank you so much for reading!

You may want to write it down and give it to her when you see her.

Hello AnxiousGirl,

Maybe you could send her an email saying that actually you really wanted to be able to talk to her but was unable to. It's not that you lied AnxiousGirl, it was that you were so anxious you were unable to express your true feelings. If you send her an email saying that you need to talk about this, then it gives you both something to work on in the next session.

first of all, your therapist will absolutely understand that you were anxious and needed more time in order to navigate the situation...do not feel badly about it or beat yourself up...

on whether to email or wait for the next appt....if you feel like you are in acute crisis right now, need to talk about it, or else your well-being be in jeapordy, then e-mail her right now and spill it all out...she can not assess your level of distress and advise you properly if she does not know...

if you think you are ok until you see her, i would email anyway and just tell her that things were not ok this week and you really need to discuss that with her next sessions and wanted her to know so she could make it the subject of the next session, which will help you better, i think, cross that bridge with her next time

meanwhile, you could be jotting down your thoughts, feelings, impressions...i often make lil notes when i need to really target something in session, or i am struggling waiting to get there...

most importantly tho, don't do the guilt thing...life is hard enough on its own and this is YOUR therapy...not your therapist's..

good luck, hon

you could email it to her, or write a letter to bring into the session.

I think I would email her. That way you can get it off your chest and she will probably bring up the topic next time you see her so you won't have to worry about being afraid to bring it up yourself.

Yes you should do it between sessions, because it's therapeutic.

I think you should do both. E-mail her that you need to talk about that week and how you're feeling. If you can give a little detail about it so she's not blind sighted. Then when you go in please don't be afraid to talk to her. She's getting paid either way, you might as well get something out of it. Who knows, maybe after awhile you will start to feel less shy and more comfortable in therapy. Just don't put pressure on yourself. Take it slowly. Therapy takes time. In the meantime, please feel free to talk to me. Good luck.

It is extraordinarily difficult to bring up awkward things, and your T will know this of course and she may have sensed reticence in your reply. I doubt she will be surprised. Recognising and articulating these difficult feelings to yourself takes quite some doing. You have done well. It would I think be good if you can take the next step and articulate them to T whether email, letter or face-to-face.

If you cant find the words in face to face, maybe write your therapist a letter with everything you want to say. Give it to her at the end of the session so you are not there when she reads it. But you must tell her somehow. She cannot help you if you do not be honest.

Yes. Write, send, and talk about it next session. Do not try to write the perfect description, just get it done. Try not to think about it until then but when you do, realize it and tell yourself you will deal with this in that next session.

i agree with above, she needs to know whats going on in order to help you or else it's useless.

I agree with others send her that email with what's going on so that next week u 2 can talk about it and maybe you'll feel better by then.

I used to be shy and first myself but as I got older I became more confident and therefore honest. I guess it's the young age that makes most people shy.

I have the opposite scenario, like I would like for somebody to listen to me expressing my thoughts and feelings face to face. But unfortunately I don't have this. I only met my psychiatrist like 3 times, and each session lasted like 20 min. I face depression alone. I told only my parents and eldest brother. The rest of my family don't know. I don't get any support even from my family. And here where I live (Saudi) we don't have support groups or anything like that. So consider yourself lucky you have the opportunity to talk. One thing I know for sure, is stuffing these things down is NO good.

Best of luck and do tell your psychologist about everything.

Stay Strong !

i believe that you should start the next session off with telling her about how you want to mention from here on out at the beginning, talking about how your week went so that you can get to the bottom of how your week was bad, what made it bad, why do you think it was bad, etc. that way she understands that you want kind of a routine.

I've lied to my therapist also. It happens.

Living does happen, especially with anxiety. She probably knows your holding back but isn't going to push you too soon. Relax and let her figure out when to push it. In the mean time try to build your trust in her by revealing smaller things first.

(((AnxiousGirl)))

I am really sorry for your loss.

This is so hard.

It reminds us how important our loved ones are to us.

I wouldn't call that lying... because if you had been able to tell her, you would have... so yes, there was more you need to share, but no you can't do it all in one session and surely not at the end of session. Patients are usually already upset that there isn't enough time to cover---or they are afraid to get into a topic and not be able to close it up well enough to not feel alone with it again...

This is very normal...so many things to share with the T!!! I'm glad she asks you...just in case...and it's fine to make a list of things so that you can cover what's most important that week. If you can share some of those topics then that will help your T make a good treatment plan for you...because it is all about you.