[Gigimaw]

My husband is 55. He has a good job working for the county we live in. We have been married for 14 years. He has a grown son that has been to prison for drugs. He is out on parole and has no job, not trying to get a job. Lives in a camper at father inlaws house. I have two grown children. A son who is single, works every day and takes care of himself. A daughter who is grown with one child and one on the way. Finishing her college and in a good place in life. I do not work after being laid off. I spend my time working around our house and taking care of day to day chores, gardening, yard work and cooking.
The problem we have is my husband goes into the moods of being rude and belligerent to me and everyone around him. He won't go to work, won't call in and goes to bed and sleeps. He has now been in bed for 4 days. Very little to eat or drink. Sleeps day and night. Seems angry when I try to talk to him. We have had our issues with me not wanting him to help his deadbeat son. I don't know what to do anymore. He gets in these sleep moods about once a month. Please help me understand and what I should do.

[CANDC]

Welcome to Psych Central (PC) Gigimaw. Sorry to hear you have been suffering from your husband's moodiness. He sounds like he may be in a seriously depressed state. When he is feeling okay see if you can get him to agree to see a psychiatrist. Many people try a psych doc and with meds. Staying on the meds keeps them on a balanced, grounded place. Some people at PC will find a therapist will also help them sort out the roots of their life.

Getting sleep may be the single one thing that keeps me in balance. If you or you husband are not sleeping or having bad side affects, contact your doctor or psychiatrist and tell him what is happening so you can make adjustments.

Many people find compassionate, caring people here at PC. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

There are articles that go into more detail about coping
Psych Central - Search results for Caregiver to a bipolar person

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[healingme4me]

Welcome to PC,

I relate well, to what it's like to live with a person with a similar disposition. Aside from the sleep; belligerence and a pattern in cycling is very familiar.
One thing I learned through all of it, is that it's more important to take care of you. It's easier to question how we brought about the latest storm, track moods on a calendar, ruminating on past disagreements, however, their emotions and behaviors lay squarely on their shoulders. It stops being about past disagreements and starts becoming about their unwillingness to take responsibility for themselves, their thoughts and behaviors.
It's not easy, just know you aren't alone.


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[kaliope]

hi gigimaw
i agree with candc that your husband my suffer from some kind of mood issue that shoulld be evaluated. even going to a medical doctor would suffice to see if there isnt anything medically wrong contributing to the issue. if not, are you able to set some boundaries of what you are able to tolerate to continue this relationship? welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[Row Jimmy]

Sounds a lot like me. I have mostly hypomanic episodes followed by the inevitable crash when I rapid cycle but my diagnostic is anger, belligerence, and paranoia. I'll get PO'd at the world and everyone around me is more of a jerk than me. My depression is often triggered by my realization (when I come off my hypomania) that I'll never be a professional mountaineer or go to med school. It is more than just "my life stinks" thinking.

But for me, I was in denial all along. I firmly believed it WAS everyone else's fault when it was actually me behaving in an incredibly abnormal fashion.

My wife and I had battled on and off for years and she was getting tired, coming to the point at which she said she wouldn't take it any more. Everyone in my house was on eggshells. During my depressive episodes, my wife would say "Don't bother dad.....don't talk to dad". So she urged me to go get help and I did. Two months later I'm a new work in progress!

I was honestly resistant because I was full of excuses - too busy, nothing wrong with me, doctors don't help, I can fix myself, etc. But it was the best decision I ever made.