virgin

Anyone who fits either of these categories -

A. In their mid 30s and still a virgin but have had previous relationships?

B. In their mid 30s and still a virgin but have not had previous relationships?

If yes to either have you thought about committing suicide due to this lack of sexual contact?

Just a reminder that when you are talking about anything related to suicide, you are supposed to use the trigger icon to alert other members that the content might be triggering to them.

I don't fit those categories. Are they something that concerns you?

So yeah to give you an idea why I started this thread - I'm 34, male and still a virgin, technically speaking. Mainly faith reasons as to the reason why. I've had relationships, which have been physical to varying degrees but just never gone all the way because I've not believed in fornication. However, I didn't think I'd still be waiting at this age. It just hasn't worked out for me and the disappointment with that is truly painful and depressing. I try not to think about it a great deal as it horrifies me and I have contemplated suicide as a result.

Hoping my situation will change someday soon but I just wish I was never in this position in the first place.

I think the most difficult challenge is actually meeting women. I don't seem to be meeting enough women on a regular basis. Obviously this involves increasing my social activity and circles but I feel stuck. I work in a very small company so nothing happening there and at church it can be very difficult to meet people. The only way I see myself meeting someone realistically is online and I've been working hard with that for a long time now. Had some good dates, average dates but nothing seems to work out. Either not having that physical attraction, chemistry or that connection/spark.

I know I have to just keep trying but at this age and after having gone through some bad relationships in the past as well (another story on its own), the desire and motivation and confidence is not what it used to be. It's difficult to keep persevering and hoping that one day it might work out.

not in my 30's but I'm still a virgin at 20. In the sex crazed world we live in being a virgin at any age(above 18) is apparently the worst thing in the world. If your still a virgin for faith reasons, your doing the right thing because that's how God intended it to be. I wouldn't be suicidal about it. Just pray, and wait on God, the right one will come and you'll be happy you waited.

Being single isn’t that bad. There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin either. You don’t need to have sex or be in a relationship to be happy, they are just small contributors to happiness. You just gotta keep trying and you’ll find someone eventually. I mean how could you not? There are billions of possibilities (PEOPLE) on this Earth.

In all seriousness, I'd go to a lady of the night and lose my virginity that way before killing myself. And once that hurdle has been overcome, the ball will start rolling - or should start rolling - a bit quicker in the relationships department. It's okay worriedfear, it's honestly not the end of the world. Lady of the night - that's my suggestion.

Doesn't really matter if your a virgin or not. To be honest. Its your choice. If it's bothering you go out and get a little lovin', its some of the best anxiety relief known to man!

B--- I am almost 36

I've never wanted to die over this but I do have a lot of low self worth

Well I was married but the last 13 years of the 33 year mariage ai had NO sexual contact with him. Was trapped financially frim getting divorced (long story). Actually we never hadva very good connecrion that way in the marriage because there was constant fighting & it did not induce my desire for him. Left 10 1/2 years ago & just now able to get the divorce. After that marriage, I am not even interested in ever getting married & because of my Christian beliefs sex outside marriage is not an option for me. Actually my life is so much more fulfilling now than in EVER was before. I have interests & activities & wonderful friends to do things with.

If by some chance God choses to provide the right match, I would consider marriage again but I had so much dysfunctional living to learn was not normal living conditions I was in all my life that this time has been valuable for learning & growing even at 65.

Interesting, all my many suicide attempts were while I was married because I was trapped & unhappy & the situation was one where my anger was turning into rage & I wanted OUT. So suicidal feelings can exist either way. Feel thankful you are NOT in a bad marriage. A lot better waiting for the right person than being miserable with the wrong one. Paul wrote something about that in the Bible.

There is a time & season for everything in our life. If we wait for the right time we won't miss it being in the wrong one.

Patience, a fruit of the spirit & is developed waiting for the RIGHT things in life that God will provide.

Virgin or not, your sexual history, or lack thereof, doesn't define who you are. You are a great person and are just being more selective of whom you share you're first intimate encounter with. Nothing wrong with that.

I was 27, nearly 28, when I first was intimate with a man. Sure, we parted ways, but he'll always have a special place in my heart as my first experience. I'll never forget that.

A therapist I used to go to once told me that I was a late bloomer, that I just did everything on my own schedule, which happen to be at a later time than most other folks. It didn't mean I was lacking in anything, or that I had a problem of any kind. I just took a bit longer to reach certain milestones and achieve certain goals. Hence, a late bloomer.

I believe the same applies to you. You just do things at your own pace, and you shouldn't feel any less of a person for doing so. You're just following the beat of your own drum is all. I find such people, like you and I, to be more intriguing anyways. We are the ones who stand out, and I feel that standing out is a good thing. I'd sooner stand out than blend into society and it's conventions of what is normal. It's like being a diamond in the rough. We are special inside and out, and with the right love, attention and care, we'll be dazzling in any light that shines on us.

I hope you're feeling better now, and please, take care.

I was virgin until I was 23 and I did it not because I wanted but just because I wanted to lose my virginity.
Yes it caused me suicidal thoughts.
I know women near 30 who still are virgins.

There are men who are crazy for virgins.
Dont worry about it. I did mistake losing my virginity without feelings, it caused me trauma.

Dont be afraid, if you find a man who loves you, virginity will be best gift for him.

Look...not trying to disrespect your faith, but not doing it your whole life all the way up to this point would mess with anyone's head. That's number 1. Number 2 is there are people out there that can't have sex bc nobody is willing to have a relationship or anything to do w them for whatever reason. Number 3 is there are people who physically cant have sex. You have had relationships and you have the ability to do it physically as well. Go out, meet someone and gave sex. You need it. God won't be mad. Stop beating yourself up that you haven't either. Make the effort to meet someone and then just be open to it. It will come as a huge relief once you do it.

Just wanted to add that I never understood why people wait until marriage to engage in intimacy with someone. It seems that making love to someone before you get married is an important step toward figuring out if you are compatible with them on a sexual level. It's not "fornication", and I hate that word with a passion because it's nothing short of slut shaming people. It's just taking a step in the right direction with any relationship before you take the plunge and get hitched.

A and B - both I guess