Checking in ( How do you feel today)?

Like I'm about to have to make my girlfriend choose between me and her family. I want out of this situation so badly... I can't handle living like this, but my girlfriend is not the problem. Its the interaction between her and her sister and mother that I can't deal with. My girlfriend is not dramatic. Her mother and sister and daughter are ALL drama. I don't interact well with drama, that would be why I dropped out of high school. I just can't handle the fact that me walking on egg shells is not enough for them.

Slightly frustrated.

I started my OSAP application (financial aid) today so I can pay my tuition. Usually, I do this at the end of June, but since I filed my 2011 taxes in the middle of July rather than the spring time I had to wait until my return was processed. There are some confusing questions in the application. One asked about my Ontario residency and student status for the last 12 months. I checked NO, since it was asking about part-time status. New statements came up and none of those described my situation, at all. Why can't there just be one question that states "I have resided in Ontario for the last 12 months as a full-time student?" Now, I have to call my university's Awards Office and ask.

Perhaps my literal nature is interfering with the interpretation of these questions. Apparently, I am gifted, yet I struggle with reading comprehension.

Irritable and tired. Not part of the group. My neck is twinging at me today and the chiropractor is out of town for a week.

Ugh.....I'm thinking of leaving. I don't know how much I really get out of being here anymore.

did some practical things for myself, but still strugglin' with insomnia. not getting good quality sleep without med. trying to go without it, but not always successful as groggy in the morning when I try to get up. mood is better than yesterday morning, but still have to go to appointments to determine what needs to be done so all this waiting leads to a clear picture.

well today-- today for me has been ok... I got a really bad head ache before coming to work, with nauseous feeling and light irritability and so on- hurt so bad and every where--- my S/O again suggested maybe I do get migraines..
IDK and to be honest I have known a few people in my family that had migraines and did not do what others claim what migraines are (i.e. my supervisor told me one time that if I had a migraine i would not be able to come to work, and i would be stuck in bed-- i think that is an ignorant statement just due to people are different and handle things differently in my opinion- that may be her with a migraine but for other people perhaps they try best to adjust to the pain but are not 100% my sister is one that I knew that has migraines since a teenager and did that- she still went to school, went to work but was miserable with her head).... To be honest even the ex-t and ex-pdocs told me to get a cat-scan due to what I describe to them as far as head aches and sensations with my head and losing memory at times with some of them it could be something a bit worse-- "it's not tumor" i say like Kindergarten Cop would say.. (ha ha ha).... it's stress I think personally.. maybe when I have better insurance- ah, a dream that is.

Still have my sense of humor.. Today is going better than yesterday --- i am letting more roll off and just doing what I need to do--

While I was driving the back roads to avoid on coming traffic tonight (lights bother me and usually are always bright and my head hurt so bad but still i made it)... I kept on thinking of how I was younger-- how when I was younger with driving I used to love driving by myself on the roads but yet also had a lead foot and would speed, and that I liked the aspect of other cars around due to they helped me keep in line with not speeding.... And these days-- I prefer to drive by myself on the road due to I go the speed limit these days, and when other drivers are around, some times i really don't like it due to *some are being chaotic behind the wheel...

IDK- Another crazy thing to connect for me-- but I was thinking how I have grown with self control-- and I was like, I really need to learn to put this on my emotions more- I have done well with the majority of it all however as I always bring up with "Bumps" in life.. I need to some how put more self control with it with out stopping my world I think.... something to chew on right?

any who-- babbling Beauflow as usual.

be well all..

I said some things today I regret, and I apologize. My previous post in this thread is one of those things.

My muscles ache and my joints are tender but emotionally I am not too bad.

I was excited and hopeful and sort of recovering from my tummy flu thing. I'm embarrassed to say that my boyfriend said something and my mood is just sinking at the moment. Now I feel sad, helpless and a little hurt/guilty/anxious. Mostly just sad though. I am really longing for some ease and some excitement and fun and joy and hope. I really want a space where happiness is easy. Feeling silly too, to let something get to me. I need to recognise that the things he said were his evaluations, and they're not necessarily true. But I'm also afraid that they are true, because sometimes, he says something that pushes me to exactly the point he believes will occur. And then there is guilt and horror and anger and violence (from me).

So yeah. Feeling sad, scared, silly. Remorseful. Disappointed.

>_<

I think it's just a temporary thing. I hope you stay

At home, I feel like just breathing is annoying to everyone else. So I walked up to work to get away cause I don't really have anywhere else to go, and my co workers are so sweet. Its my day off, and I was begging my manager to let me work, making her laugh. I love the people up there, they're all so sweet. Just don't wanna have to go home..

Stressed after finishing three deadlines in one sitting.

... tired, frustrated, not sleeping much...

not groggy today. needed sleep med last night. mediocre sleep. doing better today. finished some paperwork. now onto another lists of appointments to keep. more motivated today

I want a professional diagnosis. I need to know for sure.

But that's just one person's opinion. Would it give me the real answer?

I need God himself to tell me what's going on.

Feeling nervous. Two more work days, then the weekend, and my supervisor will be back Monday. My tummy does somersaults just thinking of it.

Work went good. Got some errands done today and some housework. Should feel good about things but I'm feeling anxious and tired.

i feel ok-- another mixed day-- mixed day may sound just so minimal but really it is not if I fully explained it.
I felt good earlier- finished another hat with crocheting - I wish I could understand the patterns though.. right now i feel a little ill-- both in my head and physically.. i am sure it will pass.... keep getting wiffs of "just want to disappear" then telling myself- no it will be ok.

Feeling a bit less depressed today than I have earlier this week.

A bit confused the whole day. But I have more energy and motivation to work. So maybe on the end it wont be bad day today. We'll see in 7 hours.

I'm feeling fine I guess. No big worries, so that makes things easier.

I feel kinda in betweem

Ok......

Hey everybody. Been layin low. Sad, confused,tired and doubtful?

So so .....