Checking in ( How do you feel today)?

Feeling contrary.
I should feel pleased and happy that last week when my T got to work on Monday she called the police monitor to ask if she could report what happened to me on Thursday night and how to report it. Gave a brief explanation, the monitor said "Oh yes please report that and if your client would also report it, have her do so too.

I finally got to see my T today for the first time since everything that happened. Instead I still feel like I do not exist. I know feelings are feelings, and these are enhanced by the traumas of invalidations of the past, but it is time for these to go away. I'm letting the traumas have more power than anything else, then that gets me down, it just goes in a cycle and I can't seem to get out.

Even knowing my T called to report the MHD thats huge. She also backed me up that the hospital never called her like they told me they had, so I wasn't wrong, there was nothing wrong with my radar that said those people were lying to me. She kept telling me that for me someone with PTSD knowing that someone with power was keeping me locked up and lying to me that is a huge trigger, but I did not fall apart and give them reason to keep me. So I should feel great. I'm trying. I just feel contrary.

not doing so well... hoping everyone else is okay

Hope you feel better soon.

Overtired from settling back into my work schedule... Beginning of the school year, pretty stressed at the moment...

Not horrible...which is always a nice thing

I feel hungry today-- seriously i have felt hungry about all day and I am not starving.. and I ate.. idk why.. other than that been pretty good today..
work was actually nice-- I went with flow i think today nice and busy towards the end which I enjoyed and just go what needed to be done- done-- i got to help out people and be silly as I am allowed to be to an extent with new guests if the "mood of the others is right" if that makes sense-- this group was very nonchalant so i was allowed to be if that makes any sense-- it made my anxiety less.
Some of them remember from last year, so got to joke around with them not having to take a maze treasure map this year to find their area-- simple this time they liked that.
and that customer manager that was in-- we get along very well, and he is always one to be thanking for the help that we do-- (i like him. he is nice. he gets along with everyone cuz he is nice)

And when i got home, i striped off the work suit and got into comfy clothes... i am promised some time today as well- real time, today seems to be well

also-- i guess this is bad in away of 'circumventing' my supervisor, but I am actually a little proud that I am smushing a problem that she is creating by just asking for a replacement part that is needed.. it has been approved! lol

Thank you for the support. Things have been pretty bad for the last few days, but my girlfriend and I sat down and truely talked things through. Turns out, she's been feeling the same was I have. Not only did we talk though our own feelings, but also our roles in the family. Things have mellowed out now, and I go to therapy today. So I'm hoping that things will get better from here. Its gonna take a lot of effort and changes, but its all for the better.

I feel like total crap.

I was a little dim today because I'm still sick. Getting better though I think. Very hungry today too, but not totally out of control with it. I hate the way I look. Some of the posts are making me feel bad today.

I have not got going yet-no motivation except for the basic minimums.

I'm great but grandaughter went to college for the first time two days ago and is totally homesick, constantly crying. I called her a couple minutes ago and I could not understand her thru the tears.....Poor Baby!!

i'm a bit scattered right now-- i am annoyed easily it seems... crap.. but i need to remember-- this is the beginning of my day-- we'll see how it goes

Not great, but not horrible, either. I blogged today, which helped process some of my emotions.

Feeling better than I have been all week.
Maybe a good nights sleep is what I needed

I always get labeled as creepy and I'm 23 and no one will ever like me

I try to be normal but they ignore me but if I say anything I get expelled with a restrainkg order

I can't take this life anymore

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excited!

i've emily autumn's new album- fight like a girl.

been waiting forever to get this

about the same as yesterday not very motivated

Everyone's life is Better than mine and it's nt fair
I will never have a gf or sex and I'm 23
And I'm very good looking but cuz my mental probs I'll never have anything
And it's too late cuz at 23 all the girls had sex with more guys than I had with girls
So I fail at life and a behind and I really do not want to live anymore

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Alright at this Friday.

Tired but relieved.

Tired but grateful for Friday, much like you Nicks Nose

tired and thankful it is friday but I still have a whole 'work day to go still'... i hope i can go lay down and maybe nap== but with how i feel it is doubtful as well...

blah...

i feel alright... music is good to listen to some times.. but i need to organize my music-- i have some rap on my mp3 that today, I really don't like and I am constantly skipping.. stoner days have been long past, and ya know the techno i can handle even if it reminds me, but the rap-- idk, some of it i like-- other of it i don't today.... gasp a change

Stressing over marching band other then that I'm fine

Setso--
I beg to differ on what is believed about what is mentioned here of all the girls of 23.....

And what does it matter if someone that you find, that is accepting of YOU - of their past number of relations - as long as they treat you well and good ?

It is not too late, and perhaps not the right time? Too many people are so encouraged that early is best for relationships-- idk... I think individual timing is best

Work on yourself first, work on loving accepting yourself, relationships with oneself can go long way, and further when later in a relationship with someone else.

many hugs to you- sorry for your struggles.. please don't give up on yourself

not motivated.