Checking in (How do you feel today)? #3

Not very active today.

Was doing well. Replied to a thread I have on the BPD forum and it caused me to slide quite a bit. I'm hoping I can recover before it gets bad.

Today I feel like stuffing my face with Saltine crackers.

Both depressed and angry at myself and at the world. I wish I could communicate with people. I'm tired of being alone.

Just taking the afternoon to re-group and collect my thoughts. (We need a steamin' cup'a'joe emo!) And it's a good thing, too, because I need to round up some important paperwork---something that in the mad dashing around, I had overlooked.

Doing all this organizing and serious cleaning has really kicked me hard in the butt. I ache in places I forgot I could ache.

Husband has definitely got that control freak gene that the rest of his family wields so strongly. (Thank goodness it's not as big as it is in them! I definitely would have fled, years ago, if it was.) He even wants to plot and strategize how I should clean and organize; what I should be doing, and when. It does get irritating, as I've accomplished SO much, and he never ever says congrats, or anything like that---he just keeps coming up with, "Okay, this is next."

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. It would be nice to get a (bleeping) compliment, once in a (bleeping) while!

(****sips coffee, and imagines herself taking off for an extended trip to a warm place for about a month....)

I am glad to see you posted. Have you tried the chat room?
You post like you did in this thread or start your own thread.

Like dancin' on the fence post!

-Fleeing

I feel happy. Saw loved ones, danced, ate, sang, hugged, chatted and felt like I belonged for once. It was good for me to get out.

I took a nap because last night was a bad night and I went on an outing with Mom because it was a warmer sunny day. I think I feel a bit better than last night, although still thinking about things.

*Wear Your Crazy Proud-Tip of the Day



-Fleeing

Kind of a busy day. I'm glad it's almost over. I had a migraine headache earlier.
It's gone now, but I am so tired. I hope everyone else is doing ok.

very very SICK.........yucky.no fun.not fair. cant wait to get moved outta this mold infecsted trailer so that our allergeis will not be so ratteld all the time adn mabe beads not get so much sinus infectoins......this is a bad one.

I feel like crap and am very tired of this whole MI thing-I would like to just stop right now and live my life again no more wondering/fear/compliance/noncompliance etc etc etc-just tired. Can I get up now??????

Pain

back to the world of books......nice and neat plots in far away places.

How do I feel.....I suppose I am fine. I have lots of thoughts running through my head....pain in my heart and my soul but it's nothing that time wont either heal or help me forget about. OK well maybe I wont ever forget, it's just I wont care as much....I hope.

*Trigger* Trigger* Trigger*










I self harmed last night and then this morning I woke up bouncing the walls rather hyper in fact, I have done a lot of housework been up since 5:am too, I have my music blasting out, I don't know what this is about.

lightheaded...but i wont let that ruin my day

Horrible. I'm so depressed today. Yesterday was worse, but this isn't a whole lot better.

It was a busy day at work but I didn't have any troubling ambiguous interactions with the other employees. I made a mistake but no one got mad at me for it and I fixed it. Overall alright day. The wellness group is doing a juice cleanse this weekend. I wonder if a little break from eating would help my TMJ pain and stomach problems.

overwhelmed by today. My husband always messes with my mind plays head games on me when I'm most vulnerable, went to see my PDoc today trying a new medication Ablify, I've tryed so many of them and didn't like the side effects. I'm taking lexapro also. both low doses but I'm supersensitive to everything. My Doc was impatient with me i didn't like the way he was towards me.

Getting nervous and anxious as night approaches...

Happy at the moment but tired and dizzy

I feel very loving toward my visiting Uncle. He is advancing with ALS and he has lost a lot of weight and his speech is limited, but, he still has his bad boy sense of humour. It is sad to think that this may be the last time I see him.

I am so ****ing mad-

I don't know how to hold on much longer and if i see that ***** of a supervisor today I may not be having a job. I feel like I could ****ing hit her in the face.

Why Is it OK for Women to be Dismissed, to be belitteled, and Men get the excuse of "Well they just aint that good so women do it" according to her at least.

I mentioned this to upper management before, they don't care!!!!!

Isn't this WRONG or Am I jsut triggered again?? **** you PTSD, **** you world. **** this woman

---

i feel better even if it was a lie, even if it is just for one person--- but i guess an investigation is going to go into her..... it is sad that the race card has worked and all the sexism that i brought up was dismissed but at least someone has been heard.. at least someone.

Today in class we worked through the emotional continuem worksheet. I stayed and tried to ask the teachers about how someone can be angry and yelling and call that moderate on the continuem. If I'm angry I don't think that's moderate at all. I almost never get angry, mostly anxious. I wondered why those are the only two emotions I can recognize too. There were three long columns of feelings. I was so hyper after class and it hasn't quit. I'm feeling tired and jittery too.