Daily Comments #6- Just place to plant your thoughts. No feedback required.

It is time for me to stop leaving for work way too early. I only live about a 10 minute walk from it. There is no reason to arrive an hour and a half early due to paranoia my father implanted in me with his impatience. Just relax and enjoy the extra time at home. Work won't fall apart if I am not there an hour and a half before my shift.

Wonder if I'm going to get that Oreo McFlurry or not...

wondering whether i should make an earlier appt to see my pdoc.

Storms are coming... power will likely be out which means no internet.

wanting to take a long romantic walk in the spring star lights. just sitting here bored watching my dumbas boy friend play his game with his friend guess ill give him, his guy time but its been hours and i have no friends cuase hes to controling boredddddddddd................................

Go take the dog on a walk, or go for a stroll alone with music...

That's what I just did...

Mark Brunell of the Jacksonville Jaguars brought Whataburger to Jacksonville, FL, where I moved from, and I lived in Corpus Christi for a year so I am very, very familiar with Whataburger. Miss their taquitos. Send me some YYZadd...the bacon and cheese one.

I'm really down tonight, once again getting too close to people I don't even know...

Today in class we did an exercise where we passed around a paper with our name on it and the other class members wrote what they liked about us and saw as our strengths. Then we had to read them aloud. It suprised me how others see me. I would never have said I'm smart and good at problem solving.

I just had a similar experience yesterday...when I was in the first round of group sessions at my ED clinic (back in August - October), we had an exercise that we did in the second-to-last session where we each got a blank card and we each put our name on it, wrote a message to ourselves, and then passed it around the room for everyone to do the same. Then, without reading it, we put it into an envelope, seal it, address it to ourselves, and then turn them in to the facilitators, for them to send to us at an unknown future date. Well, I received mine a few months ago but I never opened it til yesterday because I was frustrated with my lack of progress in recovery. So yesterday I opened it and not only was I moved to see what people had written - people that I'd assumed never even paid attention to me - but they all said more or less the same things. So it was nice to receive some positive mirroring.

Right now I'm exhausted. Wondering if this anxiety will pass or swallow me up, it feels so all-consuming. Thank goodness for my partner; she really helped me today.

Good morning

I am going to try and focus on the moment. The here and now.. not try and worry about my cat Shadow.. Right now i am exteamly anxious and worried about him being at the vet and undergoing surgery.. I didnt sleep well last night and im tired.. I think what i am going to do is do my best till i am done with my dbt therapy group my case manager thingy and then come home and take a small nap.. maybe try and chill out some.. see if that helps any..

I wish my pushing people away was the exception instead of the rule. I'm so tired of it, tired of fighting myself, but I don't know how to change it.

I could not deny what was happening in my life being shunned, less dating opportunities than my peers, being stared at in public and being treated as less intelligent. In reality a disabled persons biggest challenge isn't their disability, It is society attitude towards disabled people that is the biggest challenge.

I close my eyes, then I drift away, into the magic night I softly say. A silent prayer, like dreamers do, then I fall asleep to dream my dreams of you. -Roy Orbison

No more salsa burgers for me. People will be calling in hazmat crew soon if I eat spicy foods again. Where's the beano?

I am sad that you ran into such ridiculous prejudice. I am the son of a father who was physically handicapped...he had his right leg amputated when I was 11 years old and this was back in 1975 before the many strides that have been made for the disabled. My dad passed away many years ago and it's sad that it would seem you have run into the same sort of crap he used to have to deal with.
Much love and support to you PuffyPrue...I got your back on this one!
PM or post about it anytime you want to talk.

Doctors appointment can't come quick enough.

I am done with looking up side effects of medications! I was looking up the side effects of amoxil on drugs.com when I read "swollen, black, or hairy tongue." lmao

Well today has been a much better day than the last one for sure. My ex andI worked out our misunderstandings after she admitted to having a tough day and pounced on me because...well ust because I was there. Humph!
Well anyway I have had a nice rebound of my self assurance and am quite content with "me" for the moment.

I got nothing this morning...

I feel better this morning, but I'm very wary because I don't know how long the feeling may last.

I've got my code flowing this morning... Awesome, Logical