Daily Comments #6- Just place to plant your thoughts. No feedback required.

I understand that my problems are not nearly as bad as some others around here, but I'm really down on myself tonight. I work so hard and none of it seems to matter. Getting very depressed.

Going to be a long night! Already I can feel the tears of loneliness coming on. Most evenings I become tearful after a long day of loneliness that never seems to end. Nothing I have done helps this, although it definitely contributes to the daily feelings of suicide.

Now I will drive a truck for the next 9 hours alone in the middle of nowhere. Let’s hope some accident occurs and that be the end of this loneliness…

(Yes this is indeed how I feel everyday.)

Cappuccino Cheesecake.....good for what ails me

I feel good! FINALLY i feel good

I am on the verge of freakin out

I'm sick to death of Islam. It is the religion of death.

Ruslan Tsarni , (ruse lawn - Tar knee) the uncle of the Boston Bombers. He's saying they are not religiously motivated, that the Brothers are just "losers" . Word to nephew... Was " to turn himself in, they have brought shame to all chechens " .

I am thrilled that it's Friday. I am going to listen to my favorite music and cook some good food and forget I have any problems in my life.

Just another day of the same old feeling.

I hate my psychotic self.

The afternoon of Accounting IT Support Hell is officially over...

I took a tumble down the stairs this afternoon. Was walking down with a load of laundry and my thoughts were elsewhere as usual. Twisted my ankle pretty badly and my right side hurts from landing on the ground. Luckily, my knees are okay. They are always the major concern since I had them replaced about 5 years ago. It sparked my phobia of falling and is making me feel sorry for myself because I was intending to get a lot done today and now can barely walk.

Did something totally effing stupid today.

Regretting it. Regretting it so much. Will never get over this if it doesn't stop happening...

We all make mistakes, nobody is perfect, but if we love someone then we eventually find a way to forgive them. It's natural to be upset for a while and maybe even angry but it doesn't mean we stop loving them. If we truly love someone we love them for all that they are, we accept them for all that they are, mistakes and all. Learn, love and move on.

My head is killing me. It's like I'm feeling everything and nothing at the same time. I'm creative, but the products of said creativity are morose. I keep having the same thoughts over and over again, and when those thoughts stop, I'm not thinking at all.

At least the suspect was caught. I can end my day feeling a little safer, maybe.

Hey, I did something similar a few days back. If you want to talk, I'm here.

I'm growing ever more convinced that in Hell, there is no lake of fire. It's a lake filled with pollen. Fire would be a blessing at this point.

When I write a page or two on something, about to hit submit---- and I don't finish it because at the end---- I know, that no one on PC can really help me with what I am asking, and deep down I have to choose what I need to do...

I am in the situation.. i have to decide..

some times I wonder if that is me growing a little or not... and other times I wonder if it is me losing hope and fear of not being heard.

Still in intense emotional pain. Can't stop crying…my eyes are sore and swollen. I have this awful sense of foreboding. My thoughts and urges are escalating even more (if that's possible). My destructive behaviours have me reeling in mixed emotions. I wonder where I will end up? Back in the Unit? Worse?

Why can't I ask for help (proper help)?. I did try reaching out to someone in real life but I got burned…

Wonder why mornings are so difficult?
I get up outta bed and just want to cry; I feel every mistake I ever made come rushing to my feet and all saying WHY? I feel like a failure...I couldnt handle my life so out of control and even though I now understand it was a manic episode it does nothing to fix the pain I caused or the family it harmed.
It wont be long though...the riggors of daily life will cause me to get off my butt and take a shower, get dressed, get out and get moving and thereby not actually dealing with anything for another day.
Ugh.
Coffee, I need more coffee.

Trigger trigger trigger

Sad day at my work today. I didn't even make it into the parking lot as two managers stood in the middle of the road telling people to go home. I later found out that someone died...I won't say how but it hit me in the pit of my stomach...

This thread is now closed at 100 pages.