single or married, which way is better????

I am single, dying to be married but all married people tell me its better to be single. What do you think and why???

All married people? Really? You must know some very miserable couples.

But this isn't really a question you can ask in this way. It's better to be single if you haven't met someone you want to marry. If you have, well, it's nice to be married, though not essential.

I love being married. To me, it's infinitely better than being single, because I married the right person. So no, not all married people think that. But you're talking about marriage like it's some kind of independent activity and not a step on a path you follow with someone else.

White rabbit is right. It does depend on who you marry.

I have trust issues for many reasons so I prefer the single life. Sometimes I think it would have been better had I made a wiser choice in mates back when I was married. My sister though is happily married and would cancel out my vote.

I think it is up to the individual. Like yourself for instance. You are dieing to be married. What are you reasons to wanting to be married? Will you if you have someone or meet someone marry them just to be married? Do you or will you look for the right person?

For myself I do not see any advantages to being married except maybe sharing someone's healthcare. I also like being able to do what I like to when I want to. No answering to anyone buy myself and no worrying about someone else either. I have lost a few friends because they got married. Either they can not get permission to get out (really she's your wife not your mother) or we just lost contact. One friend's wife didn't like him hanging out with us because the few of us left as friends were single. All these things showed me was that these people were not really friends and being married is not worth losing who I am.

I liked being married sometimes but less as time went on. I liked living together for several years but not so much in the last year of the relationship. I have been single for ~12 years and don't want a BF/husband, don't need one, not gonna happen.

What I need is another dog and a couple of cats.

I was married 2x and although I liked being married and had great fun in the long run being single is fun you can make up all your own rules and come and go as you please. YOu get to pick your own decor and kind of sheets. Single is where its at, dating is fun too.

Never married, but I do regret not having kids more than not being married. Things just haven't turned out that way

I didn't vote because the answer is very individual. What is "better" for one person might not be "better" for another. I was in an abusive marriage. I'm now widowed. During the good parts of the marriage, and there were good parts, I enjoyed being married. Now I enjoy single life.

You say you are "dying" to be married. What are you looking for in a marriage? It's possible you can have those things as a single person.

I wanted to be married to the wrong guy years ago. I made myself sick over someone who wasn't worth it. I met someone now that I wouldn't mind being married to, but years from now. I think being married to him, I would not lose any freedoms, like when to go out and who to go out with, but I think I like being single now because I am still young and have a lot to learn about life and myself yet.

But overall, I agree with what many others have said, it is up to the individual.

I enjoyed my singledom when I was younger ... I had big career plans and goals. I dated and had a long-term bf/relationship but we were too young to get married.

It wasn't until I met my first true love and we got engaged that I was REALLY looking forward to getting married and extending the family (he had a beautiful daughter from a previous marriage that I adored, and she wanted a baby brother ) unfortunately, he had a sailing accident and passed away. I mourned the loss of what I thought could have been.

A year later, I met my best friend I openly vowed that I never wanted to get married or have children. After a period of time, like turned into love which turned into a bond that was indescribable. We were best of friends and just loved each other's company. We were so different yet our values and morals were the same. We just knew we would grow old together. The passion for each other after 8 years never faded. Our relationship grew stronger. He had asked me to marry him but I declined (probably out of fear). He asked again, and I said "yes". Although we both felt we were married in our hearts and totally committed, we wanted that little piece of paper He had two kids from a previous marriage that I loved like my own. By that point, having our own bio child was risky. We were fine with anything that came our way. I couldn't wait to marry this gorgeous man. A month after we got engaged, he was Dx with S4 Synovial Sarcoma. He / we fought like hell for two years. He was a warrior. Ultimately, he succumbed to the cancer. A little piece of me died with him. I would have loved to have had more children with him but ot wasn't meant to be. I feel very sad about that.

I am not putting a vote in either side of the coin.

I wish I had chosen better in marriage, and I do appreciate the children I have had as a result of being married. I have grown wiser for it.

I remember being young, and single and really lonely. As though, I didn't have a purpose in life.

I have children, they bring a certain dynamic to life, that I never imagined possible.

Because of the marriage, I had been involved in, I really had to grow and mature and learn much about myself, my past and how my past shaped my circumstances in such a marriage and resolve issues about myself, that, I didn't realize needed resolving. As in, there is a difference between intellectually knowing some things and emotionally knowing them.

Is it nice, to have a companion? Yes! Without a doubt. Is it nice to not have to answer to someone, for choosing a certain curtain style or why you bought the jeans that you bought? Yes! With each side of the marriage/single side of life comes benefits and negatives.

If you are itching to marry, perhaps find yourself involved in interests and hobbies that you enjoy, to ensure your chances of meeting someone else that is like minded.

Best of Luck, finding someone to enjoy life with. Because when you meet them, you may not view this question, quite the same way

I am engaged to my partner, and we haven't been together all that long. But we've been together long enough for me to know that I'm making the right decision, because she supports me, she listens to me, I can talk to her, we have shared values and beliefs, we want similar things out of life, and we share in some of the same struggles (not essential, but helpful). I enjoy spending time with her, but I can be apart from her and not feel anxious anymore like I did in the beginning. I don't feel like she's my whole world, but I can't imagine my life without her. I look at her and think how lucky I am that we're together. She appreciates me for who and what I am, and lets me know, not just in words but in actions. And even though there are things that we DON'T see eye to eye on, it's not the end of the world, and I don't love her any less for it. And we talk about it in a way that's not damaging, abusive or offensive.
I've never been married before, so I can't say what it's going to be like. I've been single before, though, and that was just fine. To me it's not about a status, or anything like that. I proposed to my partner because I recognized in her someone who could actually partner me, someone strong enough, someone enough of her own person and also someone who made sensible choices. We both have issues in our lives that could change everything at the drop of a hat, and we recognize the fleeting nature of life. She has a whole bunch of physical health issues that don't exactly guarantee a long and healthy life. But knowing that, knowing that one day I could prematurely be sitting at her death bed, or suddenly get a call that she's gone, doesn't change the fact that I want to experience life with her in it. I think partnership can be amazing. It can also kill people (violence, abuse, depression).
In my opinion, there is no right or wrong. There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to get married, even though there are a lot of naysayers in that department these days. I once asked a woman who was just about to celebrate her 50 year wedding anniversary with her husband, how have they been able to stay together - and love each other - for so long? (My own parents separated after 30 years of marriage, and a few years being together prior to that.) Her answer was this: Not throwing it away when there's a conflict. Basically, marriages are work. That's not an excuse to stick around when someone is abusing you, or anything like that. But I know that, for me, if my partner cheated, or something like that, even though that's always been my worst fear in a relationship, my outlook has changed. Now that I have someone in my life that I know loves me unconditionally, I feel the same way. We're not perfect. But if I found out she cheated, for example, I would be willing to stick it out and try to make it work. Because if I'm only loving her because of what I want from her, and what I expect her to do for me, and because I have a bunch of rules I need her to follow in order for me to feel safe, then is it really love?
(disclaimer: not saying there's anything wrong with relationship agreements, or people having solid boundaries around faithfulness or lack thereof, etc. This is just where I'm at.)

In the end...just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons (because it is improving the quality of your life, because it is supporting you, because you are growing and learning, whatever those reasons look like to you) and that you don't settle for something that is unsustainable or a person who cannot, by their very nature, give you what you need. Because relationships are two ways, and when entering into a relationship, it is ludicrous to expect that we are to make no effort whatsoever to add value and meaning to the relationship, regardless of the nature of it. Just make sure that it's something that you're not doing out of desperation, or 'not wanting to be alone', or anything like that. And don't take on a 'fixer-upper' (someone who would 'only be perfect if...'). And recognize that life is life, and we can only live it one day at a time, and despite all of our best-laid plans, life might have another plan for us entirely. If you would've told me five years ago I'd be getting married...

Just my two cents. Good luck with everything. It is my belief that each and every one of us deserves to be happy, whatever that looks like (as long as it's not harming someone else, of course).

I voted for marriage.

I have been married once, got divorced 11 years later. I don't regret marrying the man and I don't regret divorcing him.

I loved being married because I love coming home to someone and sharing my life. I love the idea of belonging (not in possession) to someone and they belong to me. Do you need a marriage to do that? No.

For me I don't have to be married to have that because I feel that way in a committed relationship. So why did I pick marriage?

I chose it because I do want it again. Not right away. And I wanted to answer the poll honestly.

I often wonder what marriage in the next generations will look and feel like with all the old traditional values changing as they are today. Society is so much different than it was even 15 years ago. So, has the ideas and dollar signs of having weddings, diamond rings, sending the little ones to private schools now, pre-kinder and so on.

It so much depends on the people who are marrying and the vision of what it is as a day to day life situation vs. a reality t.v. version of romance, endless sex, and no problems with paying rent, food, job loss and illness, and all the real practical life marriage is.

Marriage, living together, co-habiting with a room mate or mates, is a challenge, negotiation, compromise. Sometimes beauty, sometimes not so.

look at the divorce rate, single parents, and your bound to see society is changing.

I am married, and I have been single, and a single parent. My Mother was married to my Father 44 years, married late in her life she had been single for sometime. When my Father passed away in 2009, she has done all and everything she ever wanted to do and see. When I asked her would she marry or have a "male" friend in her life, she declared "no way." She has been happily widowed for almost 4 years now.

This is an interesting poll
Jade

I have never been married. I did live with someone for almost a decade but it didn't work out. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have someone I love who loves me and my children to share my life with but as of yet I have not met the right person. Unfortunately being a single mom of two young children, I don't have much opportunity to find someone. Pretty much all I do is drive the kids from one activity to another and church. I would to find someone at church but we just moved here in February and its a very big church approximately 2000 or more attend every week. I will leave this matter up to God. If it is His will He will put the right person in my path.

I am lucky my husband was my best friend for 2 years in college, we grew up together and our friendship goes very deep. I never felt marriage changed who I was.

I believe strongly in friendship first and getting to know each other before the "in love" part happens it is that bond of respect, solid communication and commitment that makes relationship so blessed. Relationships are work and things aren't always bread and roses...but it is a balance of the other stuff that gets you over the bumps in life. Together. And it is usually better and stronger on that next stretch of the road. Incredible chemistry is bonus

I seem to function better without an SO. Not that my life is great though, just less painful.

Well, to me two heads are better than one. I've been married a little over ten years, and I do find myself fantasizing about what it would be like to be single. But I'm generally happy and I wouldn't change it. Its all up to the individual. I look forward to being a Golden Girl someday if my husband goes before me I want to be Rose lol.

I could not vote in the poll do to insufficient data. I have never been married so therefore how can I vote for something I have never experienced. I would like to think I would prefer being married but until such time I really have no idea only speculation.

Being single is the best... Why?.. First of all u must consider that when seeking a suitable relationship with someone else u never know what ur going to get.... Remember the "Forrest Gump" movie, starring the great actor Tom
Hanks.... there's a scene where his mother says to Forrest... "Forrest..Life is like a box of chocolates...you never know what your going to get!"

My point is when u live with someone, and u learn that particular person is carrying a lot of baggage in their bag u don't want to add the weight of that baggage onto your baggage... it can get kind of heavy, if u get my drift.

Just take that into consideration.... being single u don't have to worry about that at all. It's a liberating idea.... don't u think???

I agree with what you are saying, but isn't marriage all about sharing and caring and I know its easier said than done. At some point of time we all accumulate some things and into each relationship we get into or are into we carry it with us. My personal feeling is if we meet the right person, life becomes easier. I met my right person, lost the opportunity and am now looking forward to moving on....life is a box of chocolates...we are never going to know what we are gonna get but we are any way gonna enjoy it at some point of time....right????

Imo, it's very complicated. {I do hold that general opinion towards most things in life though. Not much at all is simple from my viewpoint.}

I was married for 14 years, together for 17 total. We had 2 children together ~ I had happy times, and VERY low times. I never wished that I could be single. Personally, I was very attached to the idea of being with a man that loved me and would always be there...for better or worse. Then reality hit me hard in our 14th year. While we may take an oath to always be there for one another, for richer or poor, in sickness and in health, til death do we part, people often don't follow that oath. That is a plain and simple truth. And it really hurts!

I've been with my bf for over 3 years now, and find myself fantasizing getting married to him some day. Realistically, I know that will not happen. He isn't open to marriage, and I really haven't allowed myself to open up with him nearly as much as I should (if I really wanted a successful marriage, that's necessary). I wish that I could have that comfort that I once felt. The belief in sticking together through thick and thin, til death do we part. It would be great to have that, but it seems to be growing more rare and more difficult to maintain.

I would vote for marriage...for me there was something deeply satisfying and necessary to building a life together, having children, a home, being part of a couple. At the same time as the years have gone on and I felt less emotionally and physically bonded to my husband, I have developed a relationship, a "boyfriend" outside of my marriage. Neither of us want to leave our marriage so that's not an issue. I would be condemned by family and friends if this was known, but noone would understand the precarious hold I had on life before this developed and how stabilizing it has been for me. Yet at the same time, marriage has provided me with much the same support for 30 years.

It is complicated shezbut......in my case the guy i am in love with hurt me very much to the point of humiliating me in front of others, lied to me.....but still i love him because at some point of time i saw him regret for what he did as well as hurt a lot...now i have never seen any man like that. I fantasize spending my life with him....tilll death do us part but he has moved on...so now I am looking for lets say to be honest a replacement which I assure you, I know, is all the wrong reasons for marrying and i Am not gonna find anyone like him......love smile