[rolan86]

Hello I am a male with long hair, and really just can't get it to work. It seems whatever I do it just defaults to wild, poofy, and frizzy. Basically it just gives the look that I'm dirty, lazy, and don't care. which is very not true. It is just impossible to make my hair look neat. I am jealous of people who have straighter long hair. It seems no matter how much I wash and condition it, it will always just look dirty. I can tie it up, but I don't enjoy doing that. It's not comfortable. Yet every time I let it down, I'll look in the mirror later and just feel like wow. I looked like THAT all day??? ughh.... I really like having long hair, just not... mine... It usually dies down and deflates after a couple days of no washing, but that's the thing. you have to wash your hair. especially me, because I have severe dandruff and flakes, so if I go even a day or so without washing my hair, my hair will be caked in flakes, which is very very embarrassing to have realized, when you look in the mirror after having been out all day. So it's sort of a catch-22 here. I have to wash my hair to get rid of the flakes, but then my hair will look stringy and gross. I can leave my hair unwashed, but then it will be caked in flakes and dandruff. I don't know what to do! The only times I have actually LIKED my hair are when I got it straightened. those are the few times I actually felt like NO I like my long hair and want to keep it! then once I washed it and the straightness went away, I hated it. So I really don't know what to do. I'd straighten it, but I just can't get myself to do that. It's just a weird masculinity issue I have, I just feel very high-maintenance and image-concerned if I go to the effort to straighten my hair. I don't really know how to explain it, but it would just make me feel weird. this whole hair thing has been severely effecting my self-confidence and desire to go out in public, so it has become a major problem with me. so any tips for shampoos or conditioners or treatments or anything??? thanks!

[lynn P.]

Well first off, you're fortunate to have a full head of hair and no balding. Would you consider getting a hair consultation and possibly cutting it to a style....but not super short. We own a salon/spa, so I know a fair amount about hair care. Regarding the dandruff - you could try Nizorel shampoo but use it 3 times a week only. I saw a natural remedy on the Dr. OZ show - mix a 1/4 cup Apple Cider vinegar with 1/4 cp water in a spray bottle. I'll leave the link that explains the instructions.

Use a good quality shampoo. I don't recommend chemical straighteners - they're very harsh but there is a Keratin treatment. Not sure if you like the totally straight look. There are products for wavy hair and ask a salon about those. Be open to a new style, because this could make you look very good and you could always grow it again. Sometimes we get stuck in styles that aren't the best for us. Dove has some very good products to control frizz and you could ask the beauty adviser at drug stores to help you. Here's the link and hope my suggestions help.

Kitchen Cures Your Doctor Can’t Live Without | The Dr. Oz Show

[googley]

Hi.
I have the same problem with my hair. So annoying. I agree withi you about how it looks like we don't care, even when we do. my stylist said there were products that you can put on your hair (other than gel) that will keep the frizies down. I had some stuff at home, but it isn't workiing so I need to ask hm next time i go in to get my hair cut. You are not the only one who suffers from this.

[healingme4me]

Anti-frizz serum!!! Takes care of frizzy for a head of wavy/curly hair. Garnier Fructis Sleek & Shine Anti-Frizz Serum - Best Price

That's what I've used for the past couple of years. My favorite find, yet. I have long, naturally curly hair. And if you like, the straight look, use this when damp. Brush it out straight. ((<----talking from years of experience here ))

[KoKoKitty123]

You might need a consult with a Dermatologist. The caked up gunk might be psoriasis or some other skin problem. There are prescription shampoos and treatments that work. As for the texture of your hair, if it's frizzy and looks like crap by mid-day then you are going to need to go to a GOOD salon. Not "Quick Cutz" or whatever. A good stylist will chat with you first and help you with your issues. Good Luck!

[unaluna]

Dude, who tells you your hair looks bad? In the pic it looks gorgeous. Do you have a natural bristle brush? Brushing it while bending from the waist, from the roots out, before you shampoo, might help with the flakes. Just keep it clean.

[Inedible]

Is there a reason you couldn't use a brush and flat iron to straighten your hair and eliminate frizz? I figure it could be done in ten or twenty minutes and no one would have to know.

Originally Posted by hankster

Dude, who tells you your hair looks bad? In the pic it looks gorgeous. Do you have a natural bristle brush? Brushing it while bending from the waist, from the roots out, before you shampoo, might help with the flakes. Just keep it clean.

Exactly! I used to bother about my hair until I realized that girls/women liked it a little tousled/messy... or what I considered it to be. I think there is frequently a difference in the way we see our features and how others view them. BTW my hair was long most of my life. It's still long by today's style but much shorter than it was. I have to tell you, it's so much easier Just something to think about.
I used to use this stuff when I was down on the bay or the beach. Works really well. Or did back then.
Hey Lynn, I get flakes in the winter. Is your shampoo good for that?

[smilehopeandlive]

honey give me your hair.....ie if you can't manage it cause I have always wanted long hair but it just is not thick enough and does'n look good enough....love smiles

[Koko2]

Originally Posted by KoKoKitty123

As for the texture of your hair, if it's frizzy and looks like crap by mid-day then you are going to need to go to a GOOD salon. Not "Quick Cutz" or whatever. A good stylist will chat with you first and help you with your issues. Good Luck!

I've been looking for a good stylist for most of my life. Most stylists don't have frizzy hair so they're clueless about how to properly cut frizzy hair to minimize the bulk. Moreover, they just don't care, and I've tried going to more expensive salons without any better results. They usually just give the standard haircut and apply a ton of mousse so it looks good for a day or two. I've received my best haircuts in low-cost shopping mall salons although it's really hit-or-miss. I really like my hair if it's properly layered, but most hairstylists are trained to taper men's hair like they do for army personnel or businessmen. With my hair type, the standard taper cut starts to resemble a bird's nest after a few days. And the OP is right that people assume things about one's character based on their frizzy hair even though the person didn't ask to be born with it.

I agree garnier is the best for anti-friz (I use it although my hair isn't that frizzy) but my son absolutely has your hair! Occasionally, if he's in the mood he uses a flat iron and brush and his gf will often do it for him. Mostly, he just wears it long (in a pony tail or not)..he's in a band so he wants the look and trust me, he gets plenty of positive attention! (((hugs)))

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by George H.

Exactly! I used to bother about my hair until I realized that girls/women liked it a little tousled/messy... or what I considered it to be. I think there is frequently a difference in the way we see our features and how others view them. BTW my hair was long most of my life. It's still long by today's style but much shorter than it was. I have to tell you, it's so much easier Just something to think about.
I used to use this stuff when I was down on the bay or the beach. Works really well. Or did back then.
Hey Lynn, I get flakes in the winter. Is your shampoo good for that?

George - the Nizoral has an anti-fungal which is the root cause of most dandruff ...exception being psoriasis and eczema related conditions. Since you said it happens in the winter - could be you need more humidity in the house.

All the anti- friz products mentioned in this thread work and they're not too expensive. Apply to towel dry hair and avoid the roots so it doesn't look oily. One good tip is, never brush or comb wet hair - damp hair is more fragile to breakage. Here's another good product to control frizzies after you're done styling - you squeeze the size of a nickel and rub with your palms and dab/smooth done the friz. Its also cheap and you can get it at Walmart or any drugstore.

Dove Nutritive Therapyâ„¢ Nourishing Oil Care Leave-in Smoothing Cream at Walmart.ca

[rolan86]

I have actually tried that same garnier anti-frizz serum. Hasn't really worked for me. Just makes my hair feel really greasy. No matter what I do, my hair always looks awful when I get out of the shower. I started using apple cider vinegar though. Slowly starting to see good signs though. Hair is still puffy and frizzy, but slightly less. I'm thinking this might just take a while, and slowly over time and continued use of the vinegar it will deflate? I don't know. I am just hoping it will help with my dandruff, as I am trying to eliminate using head and shoulders, as I hear that only dries out your hair, causing frizz. I have just been pouring a little of the vinegar on my head in the shower, not bothering with adding water or what not, I mean, it's all the same thing right? Hopefully I'll see results soon and get some confidence back. Still waking up with poofy wild hair though...

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by rolan86

I have actually tried that same garnier anti-frizz serum. Hasn't really worked for me. Just makes my hair feel really greasy. No matter what I do, my hair always looks awful when I get out of the shower. I started using apple cider vinegar though. Slowly starting to see good signs though. Hair is still puffy and frizzy, but slightly less. I'm thinking this might just take a while, and slowly over time and continued use of the vinegar it will deflate? I don't know. I am just hoping it will help with my dandruff, as I am trying to eliminate using head and shoulders, as I hear that only dries out your hair, causing frizz. I have just been pouring a little of the vinegar on my head in the shower, not bothering with adding water or what not, I mean, it's all the same thing right? Hopefully I'll see results soon and get some confidence back. Still waking up with poofy wild hair though...

Tried Neutrogena T-Gel or seen a dermatologist for your scalp?

Forgot to mention, with my frizz serum, I then add mouse. Somethings work well for some and not for others. I don't get the greasy feeling.

10 Ways To Use Apple Cider Vinegar For Hair | Babble

That sounds like a natural remedy, and sounds cost effective, as well.

What else have you tried for managing curls? I remember, in hs, trying Hair Food. It worked then. It was at the recommend of some of my friends. Told the stuff would work.

Sounds like, you need to treat one step at a time, for now. The vinegar should get the ph levels balanced, because the thing about managing curly hair, is that half the products do contain some type of oil base.

Do you use a wide tooth comb? Brushes aren't always the best for maintaining curls.

[Raindropvampire]

Have you tried any ethnic hair care products? Dark and Lovely products work great on my brother's hair. Without them my brother has a white boy fro going. I also take him to a salon that specializes in ethnic hair. They knew right away how to fix him up and were the ones who suggested Dark and Lovely for his hair type. Good luck to you in your search.

[rolan86]

no never tried any ethnic products, maybe I should though. I don't know though, at this point I just feel like giving up. I just used so much product in the shower today. Two handfuls of apple cider vinegar, 2 pumps of anti freeze shampoo, two pumps of anti frizz, straightening conditioner, and even washed in some of that garnier serum. Of course, looks good and straight when I come out of the shower. An hour later? hello frizz. I try to comb it neatly, but nope, as neat as I try to make it appear, and as clean as it is, still looks like I just spent the past month following the grateful dead. No matter how much I stay away from drugs, my hair will always give the impression that I am on drugs. I was just walking across the street, then stopped for a second to make sure I had money on me, and a campus police officer just glared at me for a while, then asked me if I was ok in a very condescending, suspicious way. Why? probably because the wind was blowing my hair in my face, giving the impression that I'm a shady, unstable person. Does this indicate my character? No! It's just gravity! That's what long hair does! It blows in your face when it's windy outside! I don't want to just give up and cut my hair, but I don't see many options at this point...

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by rolan86

I have actually tried that same garnier anti-frizz serum. Hasn't really worked for me. Just makes my hair feel really greasy. No matter what I do, my hair always looks awful when I get out of the shower. I started using apple cider vinegar though. Slowly starting to see good signs though. Hair is still puffy and frizzy, but slightly less. I'm thinking this might just take a while, and slowly over time and continued use of the vinegar it will deflate? I don't know. I am just hoping it will help with my dandruff, as I am trying to eliminate using head and shoulders, as I hear that only dries out your hair, causing frizz. I have just been pouring a little of the vinegar on my head in the shower, not bothering with adding water or what not, I mean, it's all the same thing right? Hopefully I'll see results soon and get some confidence back. Still waking up with poofy wild hair though...

Good you're seeing some results with the apple cider vinegar. Try using it mixed with some water (as the recipe) before you shower - spray on the scalp and put in a towel for 15 mins. Since the vinegar is acidic, it makes it hard for the fungus to live. Leaving it for 15 mins helps this work. If you're using in the shower put your head back all the way because this stings the eyes. Vinegar is also great for removing product buildup in the hair.

If you're looking to maintain a wave or curl rather than straight, don't comb out the hair at all - use a wide toothed pic or your fingers. Combing wavy/curly hair makes it look frizzy. Once dry don't brush or comb -again use the wide toothed comb. Buy some of that Dove Cream I recommended and you can use a little when the frizz starts and avoid the roots. If you want the straight look, try the keratin treatment. I wanted to ask if you're blow drying your hair - if you want to get a controlled waving look, a Diffuser on the end of the blow dryer maintains the curl/wave. If someone with curly hair uses a regular blow dryer, they'll end up with frizzy hair. Often putting a styling product on towel dried hair and letting it air dry is best - don't comb it out. If you want the straight look then you would need to use a styling brush and not a diffuser. Hopefully this will help.

[H3rmit]

Can you try washing your scalp with minimal shampoo, just enough to get the dandruff out, and not letting much of the shampoo get on the ends of your hair? And/or get the bottom half of your hair oilier, could be with mayonnaise or conditioner, and tie it up in a loose knot before washing the scalp area. Then you can leave in some oil and clean up your scalp. I get dry ends but I like to have a clean scalp, so I do this sometimes.

[rolan86]

Is the spray bottle and water really necessary? can't I just rub the vinegar on my head straight from the bottle?

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by rolan86

Is the spray bottle and water really necessary? can't I just rub the vinegar on my head straight from the bottle?

If you're going to let it sit before showering, as the Doctor OZ suggestion - then you need to mix it half and half. Letting it sit for 15 mins does the job better. The spray bottle makes it easier if you're doing this prior to showering. If you find this tedious then do it in the shower - I use a large plastic cup...fill partly with the vinegar and add water. Linger in the shower for a min or two then rinse. Do this after shampooing and conditioner.

[rolan86]

what I meant was like isn't adding the water to the vinegar the same thing really as just pouring the cider on your head in the shower? I mean either way the cider will get diluted right? I don't know, but I appreciate the input

[rolan86]

well I just started the first day of school today, and the first thing anyone says to me is, "Hey! You like like frank zappa!!" great. my confidence is just soaring right now...

[rolan86]

been trying the no-poo method still. been using baking soda and acv. doesn't work. hair is still frizzy and caked in flakes and dandruff. I think I might have a fungus on my scalp...

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by rolan86

well I just started the first day of school today, and the first thing anyone says to me is, "Hey! You like like frank zappa!!" great. my confidence is just soaring right now...

Not an insult!! Well not to people over 60 anyway... my t brags that people used to say that to him in college - for reals. And that's probably a big reason I married my first h. I was SOOOOO dumb...!!

[January]

I had terrible dandruff and finally went to see a dermatologist. He gave me a shampoo called Ketaconazole. It's worked wonders. He also said if for some reason I couldn't get the Ketaconazole to be sure and use Selsun Blue because it is an antifungal.

I wish you the best.

Jan