[IndieVisible]

I'm 59. Lately I find I think about how long I have left to live. May be 15-20 good years left, can't count on any thing over that. I think about dying. How one minute your here and the next your not. I think about how I have lived my life, all the memories, good and bad. I think about my children. I also think about what it might be like dying. As a agnostic I think of after life and also nothing. I find both to be uneasy for me. I don't want to die. I wish we all lived forever. What are your thoughts on this subject? Do you find now as your getting older you think of your life and dying?

[gayleggg]

Hi, IndieVisible. Yes, at 61, I think of all those things. However, the only difference is I'm ready to go anytime now would be okay. I think about how much fun I have had in my life up until the last few years when meds don't seem to work on my depression. I've had a great life and have few regrets, so I'm ready to move on to what I is a better existance.

[Webgoji]

I'm 41 myself, but my religious practices are such that I consider it every day. I'm not ready by any means, my mind isn't prepared for what's to come. I always realize I may not even make it home, much less have years left. If I have enough time, and I pray I do, then I'll be able to make ready to move on to my next step, but right now I don't have my house in order.

[SeekerOfLife]

I don't think much about dying. I have faced death, and have found that living is often harder than dying. Only problem is-- death is the end of life on earth, as in goodbye to the few things I hold very dear. Not trying to get religious here, but I know heaven with Christ will be far better than here. I actually look forward to it. I have had too much pain in this life. I try to be brave, but some days my biggest victory is getting out of bed. As gayle said, I am ready to go anytime.

[JadeAmethyst]

Later in my 50s now, I consider and ponder the death that will come. I would welcome the time as it arrives, that isn't to bad, it is more of the "way" it comes that concerns me the most at this moment.

Interesting post....

[possum220]

Death gives me hope. I see it as an end to suffering.

[CantExplain]

I've been thinking about dying since the age of fourteen. Or younger.

[Mickey4333]

I am 54. Because of my depression, I frequently think of death, along with different ways to cause death. I believe, however, that these should be God's choices

[Timgt5]

it is understandable as one gets older to begin seriously thinking of your own life and its inevitable end. Regrets creep in, things you may have done differently if you could have gone back, the older you get in general the more prominent those thoughts become. I know I often wonder if anyone would remember me if I am gone. At least I have my thoughts typed here on the P-Central site

[Yoda]

I am 55 and I often think of dying and fear that my son will not be independent enough to care for himself. He is 24 and has never graduated or got his GED, never has learned how to drive a car, has never had any kind of job. He has applied at a couple of nearby retail stores for jobs but he isn't highly motivated to do anything except read or play video games.

[lizardlady]

Indie, we are the same age. I believe it's part of where we are in life to think about death. Let's face it. We are closer to the end of life than we are the beginning.

Personally I don't fear death. I have my own beliefs about what will happen after I die and I'm not afraid of it. At the same time, I'm in no rush to get there. Death will come in it's own time. That's a huge change for me, since for good chunks of my life I wanted to kill myself. I also accept that I might be wrong about what happens after I die. There won't be a bloody thing I can do about it if I'm wrong!

What really scares me is what might happen between now and death. I'm scared of becoming so infirm I can not care for myself. I'm scared about my body failing me as I age.

[LiteraryLark]

I'm 21 and I've been TERRIFIED of death since I learned the concept of death. Whenever I'm alone, in crowded places or otherwise, I suddenly realize again and again that I'm going to die. I wonder if I am going to die young or old. I wonder if it's going to be painful or if I'm going to die in my sleep. I wonder if I'll have grandchildren or I'm going to die alone.

I don't believe in God, at least, in theory. I keep it open to the thought of the possibility of God, but it just doesn't make sense to me. Personally, I believe I'm just going to wake up in someone else's body and start all over with no recollection of my past life, or it's going to be like a dreamless sleep and it will be blackness. Both are TERRIFYING.

Death is my biggest fear. Not having faith doesn't help. I really wish I had faith.

[sewerrats]

at 66 life has hit the slower lane , but never thought of myself has old. Put up with a lot I don't let my family see, its my mental health they can only look on at the struggle. But death is a thing I have been close to many time it does not bother me I have lived 20 normal; lives mostly in the fast lane. Has for its in GODS hands ,if there was a god why would he give me depression all my life, so i have never believed in him.

[(JD)]

Of course I've thought about dying! I made plans for it, here on earth and in heaven. It is better/easier to be with Christ than here on earth, but for now, I'm here on earth.

I recently shared with my sons how I am decluttering anything they might consider a burden to sort through. They laughed...reminded me of how my parents lived well into their 80s. I reminded them that I am disabled 27 years now, stress takes maybe 10-15 years off a person's life, and how allergic I am etc etc etc. After that I received no replies.

Having just put my best buddie Caleb, my service dog down (2 weeks ago) I faced death recently...

and my Christian psychologist is battling cancer...

I began thinking I can't live with both of them gone... (and I had become confused and thought my T was not returning)...and was really putting the finishing touches to decluttering, and reevaluating my "bucket list" (I've almost added parachuting!)

I await the Messiah's return...and it can't be too soon for me! I can't do anything about all the garbage going on in the world, and what my country is changing into, so in that sense I am SOOOO ready to leave! But by staying away from the news, I'm okay in that respect.

Death puts a new perspective on life. I think it's good to consider it, plan for it etc., but then rearrange life so as to limit as many regrets as I can.

thoughts?

[pickwick6]

This is an interesting post... I am close to 63 and I moved to a "senior community" at the age of 59 because of a long time physical disability (fibromyalgia.) I handled a divorce from an abusive marriage, single parenting on a shoestring, estrangement from siblings all with difficulty, but all with hope and a sense of purpose. Nothing prepared me for what living among those whose next address might be the cemetery next door would cause me to feel.... completely hopeless and jealous that these seniors got to live their 85+ years in their homes or with their spouse, or in any other situation that was better than mine. Mind you, this is a lovely community but I feel I am just too young to witness the too frequent wails of sirens whisking these nice people off to who know what awaits them... and wondering if they will ever return. I didn't want to let my guard down, didn't want to get to know them beyond the "hello.. how are you?" A neighbor who I had gotten somewhat close to died recently. He had been ill for a couple of years but usually had an unbelievable attitude. I saw him a few days before he passed, and he knew it would be soon, and he said to me "we are all going to go through this... this is just my turn.." and since then I have been more at ease and more appreciative. I've become more focused on the life I have today and less fearful of when it will end. That, I can't change, but I can change my attitude and confront my fears so that all my "today's" are well lived.

[Slamjammer]

As a child growing up, religion just wasn't a topic of conversation around our house. My father came from a Catholic background, but I never knew him to attend church. My mother was raised as a Protestant. This was back in the days when Protestants and Catholics just didn't mix, so I had ZERO religious upbringing.

Back in my early work-a-day life, I was a branch manager for a national financial services firm. One of my representatives was very active in the Baptist church, and at one time had hosted one of the first religious radio shows in the area. Also, one of my very active clients was a Deacon at a local Lutheran church. They each engaged me in many philosophical/religious discussions, and I slowly began to awaken spiritually.

About that time, my father-in-law was hospitalized with emphysema. He was having a very difficult time, and we knew he might not survive.

One morning, I was in the shower, and he was on my mind as I worried about his prognosis, how my wife would deal with his death, etc. etc. Suddenly a voice came to me. This was not me having a conversation with myself. This was not my imagination. This was like 220 volts of pure power zapping my brain. If you ever hear this voice, you will KNOW it is real, and where it comes from.

The VOICE said, with infinite love and infinite power: "IF YOU CARE FOR HIM, PRAY FOR HIM." I was astounded. In reply I mentally spluttered: "...but...but...who would listen to ME? I'm not religious. Why me? Besides, here I am, naked in the shower....isn't that kind of blasphemous or sacrilegious or something?"

The VOICE immediately replied, still filled with infinite love and power, but this time with a bit of an "edge" to it, saying: "YOU ARE ALL NAKED BEFORE ME. PRAY FOR HIM".

So, right there in the shower, with the water running, naked as a jaybird, I got down on my knees, confessed my sins, baptized myself (I had never been baptized), and prayed for the healing of my father-in-law.

To make a long story short, he was released from the hospital a few days later and continued to live a fairly normal life for seven more years.

So what does all this have to do with the original question, you ask? The above incident had a profound change in my "spiritual outlook", and I began my own quest to find some answers. I no longer question the existence of "God" or "the Creator" or "the Source"....or whatever you choose to call the intelligence which created our universe. On the other hand, I DO question SOME of the religious teachings put forth by various religions. I kept feeling, deep inside my head, that there were better answers SOMEWHERE.

Enter Dr Eben Alexander, with his book "Proof of Heaven", which chronicles his personal NDE experience. There have been thousands of well-documented NDE's, but his was unique. I'm not sure he proved the existence of "Heaven" so much as he proved (at least to my satisfaction) that a type of conscienceness is not dependent on brain activity, since his NDE occurred while he was neurologically flatlined.

So, if "I am" doesn't come from the brain, where does it come from?

This question led me to the works of Drs. Brian Weiss ( Many Lives, Many Masters) and Dr Michael Newton (Journey of Souls ). Weiss deals with reincarnation, and how its part of the natural order, thru a case study. Newton deals with life in the spirit world, carefully compiled from hundreds of his personal case studies. It's eye opening and awe inspiring. Read these three books and you will be forever changed.

OK, so I'm definitely over 55 and I think of dying....but not the same way I used to. Read the books. I promise you will thank the authors.

[hayleytheherbivore]

I'm 17, and I still think about those things and worry about them for people I know that are getting older like my parents. Today a friend of mine passed away suddenly in a car wreck. He was also 17. I'm catholic but I drifted far away from my spirituality... thinking that maybe it wouldn't be so bad or unrealistic to just be nothing after you die. Just like sleeping with more commitment. But after Estevan died, I've been thinking today how great of a guy he was and how cruel it would be for him to not have something better waiting for him after his short, troubled life. For someone with lots of suicide attempts, it's weird for me to be scared of dying now that I'm better. No, I don't want to die! Not anymore! But I'm scared I've tampered with my life so much that if there is a God, there won't be much mercy in how I'm offed, or the timing of when it happens... I can relate. It's scary. But death is what all humans have in common. Perhaps there is an afterlife, maybe there isn't. If there is, I hope there are loved ones. And pets.