Is EVERYONE capable of being a good person?

allme · Sep 02, 2014, 11:25 PM

Hi

I am not be to sleep tonight so doing a lot of thinking about random stuff....so I am wondering, is everyone born with the capability of being a good person? When I say good, I mean all the positive stuff that we consider good, like love, compassion, empathy...and things like being faithful, truthful and honest?

I am trying hard to understand people, and people in general make me so angry...like when I see dishonesty, selfishness, greed, violence...it really makes me so mad. So I am wondering, are they just not capable of the things that we consider good or did life teach them the wrong things?

AccidentalEnemy · Sep 02, 2014, 11:34 PM

I feel this way many days. I find comfort in looking within myself towards my intentions.

Timgt5 · Sep 03, 2014, 03:15 AM

We all have the capacity to be all things, caring and apathetic, kind and mean, good and evil, what we do is a matter of choices we make, driven in part by external influences, in part by who we are on the inside.

Our news media holds up and magnifying glass to evil to get ratings, often ignoring the fact that every single day millions of people quietly engage in acts of kindness for their fellow persons.

Maria38Divine · Sep 03, 2014, 03:39 AM

Allme, looks like you and I are in the same boat. Can't sleep either.

I use to believe all people were basically good or at least striving to be good. But I think I've been delusional all these years. Some people are just plain thoughtless. They have no problem using you to get ahead and when they succeed, they toss you aside like you're not a human being. Their behaviour is driven by selfishness and greed. I agree there's good and evil in all. I'm guessing the type of behaviour which eventually becomes dominant in each of us is the one we've chosen to practice more, either because of societal and/or parental influences.

Ripose · Sep 03, 2014, 05:26 AM

At times I am torn between the two worlds. Not only am I very kind and considerate person by nature I was also raised that way. Many people have said that I am one of the kindest people they know. However on the other hand being constantly bombarded by the total disregard of most people throughout my life I have become quite cynical and I hate it. I don't want to die a bitter old man.

It is very disheartening to do my best to be kind and to try to help others when it is seen by most as a weakness, often it is thrown back in my face even by the people I have helped.

Will I ever stop trying to help others? I doubt it, so I guess I just have to live with all the bad people as best I can.

Have a good day/night all.

Sep 03, 2014, 05:49 AM

I always like to think that most people are born generally good and that circumstances have led to them becoming who they are.

I have a lot of trouble wrapping my head around some of the things that happen in this world so I like to think there must be a reason for it. I can't stand the thought of cruelty for its own sake.

I like things to make sense. Very few of the horrible things that happen make sense to me.

I guess I'm quite naive though.

possum220 · Sep 03, 2014, 06:12 AM

Not everyone is capable of being a good person.

allme · Sep 03, 2014, 06:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by possum220

Not everyone is capable of being a good person.

What makes you say that?

Thanks everyone else for adding your thoughts!

allme · Sep 03, 2014, 06:40 AM

hmm so if we all are, I guess it answers my question...I wanted to know if it is worth reaching out to someone deemed 'bad' and appeal to their good side.

Hmm I am not convinced....Deep down I believe some ppl are just born to be bad....no matter what their up bringing, social factors, that person was always going to be bad.

So does that mean I give up on ppl that are close to me I deem to be 'bad'? Of course the two can exist together but I am talking about when bad totally out plays the bad.

I feel a lot of pain and see a lot of pain in ppl......all the pain around us makes me feel so distraught and anxious. I want to believe we are all good ppl but life has just dealt us a rough deal when someone is bad, and do all they know and have learned.

But what about ppl that get pleasure from evil things....like murder etc....do they have the capacity to be good and let good run their actions? Or is it a lost cause?

Sep 03, 2014, 07:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by allme

hmm so if we all are, I guess it answers my question...I wanted to know if it is worth reaching out to someone deemed 'bad' and appeal to their good side.

Probably not. It is very hard to break through that sort of thing. Whether they are born that way or not. We can't fix them especially if they don't want to be.

Quote:

Originally Posted by allme

So does that mean I give up on ppl that are close to me I deem to be 'bad'? Of course the two can exist together but I am talking about when bad totally out plays the bad.

If you think they are going to cause you more trouble, absolutely. There is no reason why you should suffer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by allme

I feel a lot of pain and see a lot of pain in ppl......all the pain around us makes me feel so distraught and anxious. I want to believe we are all good ppl but life has just dealt us a rough deal when someone is bad, and do all they know and have learned.

I know what you mean. I just don't want to think anyone can be truly evil. It disturbs me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by allme

But what about ppl that get pleasure from evil things....like murder etc....do they have the capacity to be good and let good run their actions? Or is it a lost cause?

Maybe, look at the people in prison who find God and suddenly become new people.

Of course they could be faking it or a million other things.

I guess we'll probably never understand. The world just isn't built that way.

Sep 03, 2014, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Timgt5

We all have the capacity to be all things, caring and apathetic, kind and mean, good and evil, what we do is a matter of choices we make, driven in part by external influences, in part by who we are on the inside.

Our news media holds up and magnifying glass to evil to get ratings, often ignoring the fact that every single day millions of people quietly engage in acts of kindness for their fellow persons.

So, So true.

Sep 03, 2014, 02:36 PM

If you were Buddhist, you would believe so...

allme · Sep 03, 2014, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ripose

At times I am torn between the two worlds. Not only am I very kind and considerate person by nature I was also raised that way. Many people have said that I am one of the kindest people they know. However on the other hand being constantly bombarded by the total disregard of most people throughout my life I have become quite cynical and I hate it. I don't want to die a bitter old man.

It is very disheartening to do my best to be kind and to try to help others when it is seen by most as a weakness, often it is thrown back in my face even by the people I have helped.

Will I ever stop trying to help others? I doubt it, so I guess I just have to live with all the bad people as best I can.

Have a good day/night all.

I have had the same thoughts and feelings and I came to the conclusion that I couldn't control anyones behaviour or true nature with my actions. I came to the conclusion and still working on the notion that you shouldn't do the right thing, or be a good person in hope you will get the same in return. I now try and feel good from just being the best person I can be with no expectation of gaining what I want from other people. I am trying to learn being 'good' brings its own rewards in knowing I am making a contribution to society in its battle of good vs evil.

allme · Sep 03, 2014, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Skeezyks

If you were Buddhist, you would believe so...

Funny you mention Buddhism....I have actually been contemplating reading into it. It sounds like something I would soak up right now

eskielover · Sep 03, 2014, 03:38 PM

After living with my H for 33 years I do not think that everyone is capable of being good. He could be nice but there was no way he could be good. He would lie by covering things up & not saying anything. He had no empathy & could. Never communicate & he destroyed us financially. A college educated person...I was sure it was because his patents never taught him to be a responsible person but his younger brother (who was only 9 when we got married) turned out to be everything my H wasn't. it got worse over time not better.

even though I am now sure there is & has been a reason all his life for those issues...it still doesnt change that the behavior & the results of his behavior was bad

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I577 using Tapatalk 2

Ripose · Sep 03, 2014, 04:08 PM

Quote:

I now try and feel good from just being the best person I can be with no expectation of gaining what I want from other people.

I Never said I expected anything from anybody.

dedicated · 04:47 PM

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with grievances. I won't go too far to get example, I had seen how money affected my Dad. And of course, my Dad became bad influence to people who needed his money.

lizardlady · Sep 03, 2014, 07:56 PM

Allme, I believe most people have the capacity to be good, but don't always chose to be. I would like to believe that everyone had the capacity, but I've seen too much ugliness in life. I've come to believe that some folks are so badly damaged or so inherently evil that they lack the capacity.

Hobbit House · Sep 03, 2014, 08:26 PM

Everyone is born with Buddha nature....

Ripose · Sep 03, 2014, 08:43 PM

Allme, the link below is a great place to start.

Free E-Books on Buddhism

Sep 03, 2014, 09:17 PM

At one time I believed everyone was capable of being good and that family, education and society played an integral role in developing good people. The experiences I've had in life have changed my opinion. I now believe that some are just born to be good. To be caring & loving. To be good listeners and advisors. I think a good person can come out of the gutter after experiencing a dreadful life of abuse, war, poverty. Another person having gone through similar grief can emerge a violent criminal. I often see no rhyme or reason to it and so I attribute goodness to an inherent quality one is born with. Perhaps it can be fine tuned but there has to be something there to work with.

-jimi- · Sep 03, 2014, 09:30 PM

I think a very few are good considering anything and some are bad considering anything, but they exist. But for the most part, people are born social. Not all are but a majority. Humans are social animals. If you are nurtured you have a bigger chance of being a nurturer. If social rules state that you should be crappy with women, you will probably be that way. And so on. Being social is sort of meant for cooperation, but cooperation unfortunately works both through love and by force.

So can most people be good? I think so, if socialized right.

allme · Sep 05, 2014, 06:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ripose

I Never said I expected anything from anybody.

That sentence wasn't aimed at you...I was just sharing my thoughts

allme · Sep 05, 2014, 06:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Risingtemp

At one time I believed everyone was capable of being good and that family, education and society played an integral role in developing good people. The experiences I've had in life have changed my opinion. I now believe that some are just born to be good. To be caring & loving. To be good listeners and advisors. I think a good person can come out of the gutter after experiencing a dreadful life of abuse, war, poverty. Another person having gone through similar grief can emerge a violent criminal. I often see no rhyme or reason to it and so I attribute goodness to an inherent quality one is born with. Perhaps it can be fine tuned but there has to be something there to work with.

I am leaning towards this way of thinking the most!

Nammu · Sep 05, 2014, 11:35 AM

I believe that most people are born with the ability to be good, kind and loving but that external things get in the way and cause perple to lose sight of whats really important.

Like a job, it becomes more important to get ahead and get promoted than it does to keep ones integerty. Keeping up with the Jones becomes more important than kindness. Being the thinnest or the most attactive, ect, these things distract us and it becomes easier to do the wrong things to get these distractions than it is to do the right thing.

I don't belive that most things are evil, wrong yes but driven by evil, no.

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