Tired of being immature, awkward, etc.

I had joined a forum, and another member said it appeared I had psychiatric problems. Of course I do have psychiatric problems, but I didn't think anything I posted should have suggested that.

Sometimes I feel like I should just go away where I don't soil the normal, mature, well-adjusted, successful people with my personality. There was a TV show called Mr. Bean. That's how I feel. I'm probably weirder than Mr. Bean unfortunately.

How do you know he wasn't just trolling you? Most forums aren't as kind and supportive as PC is.

Ding, ding, ding! That was your 6,666th post! You should win a new car or something IMO.

That is true about trolls, but I have discovered that my personality flaws must be obvious in forums just as they are obvious in real life. This wasn't the only example of that. There are some mean people on forums, but sometimes their observations are accurate.

When everybody around you thinks you are no good, eventually you begin to agree with them. I'm almost 50 years old now. When I was younger, I tried to prove them wrong by accomplishing small things. Now I just look forward to growing old and dying so that I won't disgust people with my presence.

(Sorry this is such a whiney post. LOL )

Thanks, @Tea Biscuit

"normal, mature, well-adjusted, successful people"

I've begun to believe that those things don't exist.

Do you have a therapist? I ask not because you sound whiney or disturbed but because you sound depressed.

My pleasure. Glad you read my post, before I deleted it

I've been going to a therapist weekly for about six months. I keep thinking I should stop going, because I know my problems aren't that serious compared to many people. It seems wasteful for me to go to the therapist when I don't need it as much as some people. However, it does help to talk to somebody once a week.

I used to feel this way. I also sometimes feel a sense of guilt at having relatively good life circumstances while struggling with MI....I've never been deliberately hurt. I know other people have it so much harder. I told a therapist this once. And he said that while my problems aren't as serious as some my problems are still important.

I also think the better & healthier I feel the better I treat those around me.

I say keep going to therapy if it helps you. You deserve to be happy and healthy just as much as anyone else.

Ditto. Feeling that it's wasteful for you to go to therapy because other people need it more, sounds like depression talking. You do deserve to be happy.

Saying that is like saying you shouldn't be happy because some people have it better.

Thanks, everybody Good advice. I do feel a bit like I'm wasting money and healthcare resources that should go to other people. I like to live simply and not waste water, electricity, trash. But if I can make myself a little easier to be around, then other people will appreciate it.

Being awkward is simply part of who some people are. I is not necessarily something that can be controlled.

However, I truly believe that being immature is otherwise. In my experience those that put on immature displays of behaviour are doing just that - they are putting on a show. In otherwords I tend to think many do it on purpose - perhaps often unconcsiously - in order to seek attention.

Are you truly behaving immaturely or is it rather in inability to pick up on social cues. This is something else entirely and goes hand in hand with awkwardness.

X, you are truly a wonderful person that has a lot to give to this world. Being you is crucial, and a fifty year old or a twenty year old all have one thing in common, a brain. Obviously you use yours quite well. Just because someone uses a spyglass to look at the minutest of detail in your life, they aren't seeing the electron-microscope searching out their meager existence. So what if you have a flaw, we all do that is why we are all here in one shape or form. Please show me one person that doesn't have some kind of inner turmoil and that their life is absolutely perfect and I sell you a five mile long bridge that I own. You are a very special person and we all care about you and your well being and I am sure that you care about us too. Stay in touch and keep on trucking.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't the way I am, but then I think, screw it, I must be like this for a reason. Some sort of purpose.

When I was in elementary school, I fit-in just fine. Then everybody grew up except for me - I just grew old. I feel like I don't belong. Partly I am socially awkward, and I don't know how to behave among people my age. Partly I am still interested in childish things. Partly I want to be different.

I used to write software, and I would always find bizarre ways to fix bugs or write new code. Partly I am creative, but partly I wanted to say "hey, I'm special". That is immature.

I don't know if that answers your question.

Probably one source of my problem was hormones. I didn't mature sexually until I was 17 years old, and that might have contributed to my feeling of being left behind. I am also not a very masculine male. One of my old friends from elementary school called me up, and I just didn't want to talk to him. I felt so immature and pathetic. I hope I didn't hurt his feelings, but I probably did.

Thanks, I guess nobody is ideal. Someday, we will probably just clone perfect people, so everything will be perfect.

Another way is to say, "can I do some good somehow even though I'm weird?" I know my cat needs me and my mother needs me. My mother is a widow and very lonely. So I keep going.

X, I wouldn't say wanting to show off your creative side is immature. It is normal. Heck, I do it too.

However, awkwardness requires some thought to overcome. Take some time to observe the nuances between people as they meet, as they communicate. Not just what they say but how they say it. In particular note body language. Even watching TV.

These nuances can even be felt in written form such as internet forums simply by the manner in which people write. When you find yourself coming across a post where you like how the person 'sounds' take a look at how they wrote their message. Same for if you find one that irritates you are gives you grief.

You ARE worth it.

Thanks, that is a good idea - particularly about studying communication in internet posts. They are frozen in time, so they are easier to study than real life communication.

:O Dude or dudette, you're almost 50. You've earned the right to act a little immature at times! Jeez. Screw the some person on the forum. Do you know him? Does he know you? I highly doubt it! Be a bit silly, have a little fun... my God, getting older doesn't mean you're not allowed to be daft once in a while! xD You should meet my dad... he's in his 50s and is incredibly imature at times and I love him for it. xD

I haven't detected the slightest bit of immaturity of awkwardness in any of your posts here. I don't know what you've posted in the past, but from what I've read here, you're very intelligent, well-spoken, sensitive, and depressed. I don't know why anybody would call you immature. Creativity and weirdness are assets, not drawbacks. You can accomplish great things in life BECAUSE you're weird, not in spite of it. Don't try to fit in with everybody else, it's a complete waste of time.

Amen! Embrace the weirdness.

I don't think those sort of people really exist. Most people are just putting on a good front for the public. As we are people with mental diseases it is far too easy to fool the public into thinking we are the well adjusted people. Everybody has problems, some just hide them better than others.

X, has psychologist or neurologist looked into the possibility of Asperger's? It wasn't even diagnosed in the US until after 1994 & very little was really known until more lately & having it undiagnosed can leave some people with similar feelings as you describe & wondering WHY the feelings & the behavior rather than UNDERSTANDING it.