How Are You Feeling Right Now? #2

I'm feeling very abnormal. I cried at my new volunteer gig and left early. I don't think it's the right place for me. I'm not comfortable there.

Not a very good day again. Starting to feel a bit neglected by friend, just some little things... I know I'm probably blowing said little things out of proportion, but they're still really bugging me. I'm gonna try to talk to him about them in the next couple days if I can, but not sure if I will be able to catch him in a good enough mood until the weekend, so it means probably another day trapped with these dumb thoughts.

I felt tired all day today. I barely got anything done. I think it`s the anti anxiety med that I take in the morning. I also take it at night before bedtime. I just feel so tired.

Another meh day.

Friend wasn't on at all, probably too tired after work and traveling to his parent's house to bother getting on I'd wager (but of course my brain still says it's to avoid me because that's how I work).

I've also been extremely tired yet again today. I'm just not sleeping well lately. Started yesterday, but I've got a weird headache coming on, and today it's just constant. It's like a minor heachache that won't go away, best I can do is dull it a little bit with Advil but I can't get it to go away entirely.

A little down - my dad passed away a few weeks ago. I'm just starting to internalize it. He always supported me through thick and thin (and there was plenty of thin, trust me) and we would have great chats about my job and my climbing mountains. He was always genuinely interested in what I did. I've been absent from the boards for about a month but I figured it was time to come back.

Anxious. It's almost 5:30pm where friend is and he hasn't been online yet today. Work isn't an excuse today. Maybe his family is doing birthday things with him this weekend since they won't see him on his birthday. It makes sense. Gotta keep rational. He wouldn't avoid me...

Not great. I guess since my post got large and rant-like I'm gonna toss it in the rant thread instead of here since I don't think this is meant for rants.

Groggy, just woke up from a nap - gonna make dinner... grilled cheese and jalapeno chili, mmm. Gained 30 lbs from taking Zyprexa - I was underweight before from not having much of an appetite on account of depression

Anxious. Very anxious... I know this day can go one of two ways and neither way is good really. I'm just gonna catch up here since I couldn't make myself do it last night and then try to distract myself with games.

Whew, now I feel relieved. x-x

I’m kind of worried. I got a text saying my Pdoc appointment was cancelled. It’s not until September. I’m wondering why he cancelled so far ahead. I’m wondering if maybe he left the practice. I’ve seen him twice and so far he’s pretty decent. Yeah it’s the Ativan thing I’m worried about.

Awful. I'm a mess. I thought I was ok. I'm not. I need support and help.

Pretty tired from the heat.

I don’t have a big support system. I don’t need one. However I do wish people would respond to my messages when I text them. Especially since they do communicate with me on their own time when they feel like it.

Lonely. very very lonely

I’m feeling kinda depressed. And really bad.

I feel unmotivated right now. I have a million things to do and I`m just sitting here .

I feel really nauseated. I feel the way I do when I eat Tums. My mouth tastes like I’ve eaten Tums as well. I haven’t though. I had a raspberry iced tea with Splenda. Maybe that was it.

Productive with some anxiety mixed in.

I’m feeling sad. I’m worried about someone. The last person I knew that died was my dad in 2014. But this is going to be so much worse if something happens to this person. I would be at a total loss.

I don’t know if it’s just because I didn’t use my stress relief soap today (used it 4 days in a row and I felt great.) or the fact that I’m not at work. I usually feel pretty good on the days I work. I’m getting my period in exactly 2 weeks. I have PMDD. It used to be unbearable. For a year now it hasn’t been too bad. I have heard of PMS starting 14 days early. I really hope it’s just as simple as needing to use the soap every day and not just on the days I work.

I am feeling fine.

Confused on the expectations of others.

I am heart sick. I heard a GREAT line on TV: Worry is a bully. How true.

The words "empty" and "numb" come to mind. I can see it approaching like a black wave, only this time, there's no life preserver to cling to.

Like *****. Like crawling into a closet and staying there for the coming 2 months. It's not even noon and already the day is extremely stressful. I just don't even know. What do you do when the universe just seems to be attacking you?