What were your childhood dreams, and how have your dreams changed in adulthood?

This might be a heavy question, or an inspiring one, but I will ask it anyway. It is a two-part question.

1. What were your childhood dreams?
2. How have your dreams from childhood changed in adulthood?

I will go first.

1. I used to want to be an astronaut, a dancer, a singer, and a detective. Most of my childhood dreams were based on movies or t.v. shows.

2. I pursued singing in the choir and participating on the drill team after making tryouts in high school. My singing and dancing never excelled further than that, except when I volunteered to sing in a church choir and wrote song lyrics for a church about a decade and a half later, when I was about 30. My detective dream morphed into my loving to do research now, both for psychology and criminal justice. Although I had graduated over two decades ago from the police reserve academy and later joined the military, I knew that patrolling was not something I would be good at back when I was in shape. But I discovered my other talents in office work and later in research. My wanting to be an astronaut was a pipe dream, but I enjoy looking up at the stars at night. My dream today is to become a researcher for the government or for non-profit organizations. It is as close to detective work as I can get. I only like to sing and dance in private, but I do enjoy listening to music and watching dancers.

I wanted to be a police officer and I told myself “no matter what you will always become one” as an adult I realized I do no have the social skills to become one. And I don’t actually want to become one anymore either.

@Mountaindewed I never had the social skills either. I was never a cop. My half-sister's fiance was a cop before he got fired and left her, but that is another story altogether.

I had a bunch of things I wanted to be - nurse, veterinarian, horse breeder/trainer. I gave up the idea of being a vet in college. While I made above average grades, I didn't have the kind of grades to get into vet school. Looking back I think I liked the idea of being a vet more than the reality. I stopped wanting to be a nurse when I was a kid.
I lived my dream of doing something with horses. After college my husband and I started our own business with horses. I trained, taught people to ride, boarded, bred, showed. You name it and I probably did it. In my 40s I realized I needed a new profession before I got crippled by an accident. Went back to college and became a therapist.

I only wanted to be one things....a ballerina.....that never changed (too long a story why that didn't happen), but....I am still taking ballet at 72!

Broadway star here! I was on track for it but was deflated when actually doing it became a reality. I had the talent but not the ego. I didn’t want it badly enough to suffer for it.

I’m thinking about my dreams now and really don’t know what I want. I’m very blessed to be at a great point in life with my husband, so my dream is also his (but both are clueless)

Really only ever wanted to be a physician or a guitar player. Made it with one of those, but had to retire early due to this bipolar thing.

I guess the only dream I have now would be to publish these two books I've written. One is a novel, a thriller, based on a sort of bipolarish hero who sees visions (I have seen a LOT of visions). The second one is about my extremely long hospitalization for bp1. I believe both are pretty good, but it is extremely difficult to get something published in the current market. We shall see...

@bpcyclist I hope you get your books published. I'd read them. One of my favorite shows is Homeland, and I love how fictional character Carrie has bipolar but is still a CIA agent (or was; they kept changing her involvement with the CIA). I watch many shows where there is some star character who has a mental illness but some high-ranking job.

I'm sorry you had to retire early due to bipolar. That must be hard. I hope that your new dream of writing and publishing comes true!

@nicoleflynn

That's awesome that you are still taking ballet at 72! I'm only 45 and I don't have the energy or balance for ballet, but I love watching ballet. For you to be able to do it at 72 is so impressive and cool!

@lizardlady I like how you were able to keep the dream of horses and helping others in some way. Congrats on becoming a therapist! I hope you weren't injured prior to that, however; I didn't know if you meant that you were crippled or stated that sentence as a precautionary reason why you needed to change professions from equine to therapy.

I wanted to be a theme park engineer, but when I failed school I couldn't get to colledge (for any engineer qualifications) that was the end of that one, but nowadays I am always looking up theme parks, everything about them, they are my obsession

my other thing was to be a computer technitian

then it dawned on me that I don't have any social skills to talk to clients, or indeed any knolledge of computers (so that was the end of that)

and then I was told I can't work, so even if things had been diffrent..

I think the saddest thing of all is that I never imagined having some many illnesses

but here I am..

@raging vortex Your dreams sound amazing! I'm sorry you struggle with social skills, and that you were told that you cannot work. It is easy sometimes to look at our limitations without also looking at our likes/desires, strengths, and ability to learn (self-efficacy). I didn't do so well in high school, though I knew I had the potential to work hard and earn A's in college, so I went for it and accomplished just that as an undergrad. Not everyone can do that though, but community college really helps those who didn't do well in high school and need extra help to get to the next step (you don't need to earn A's, but C's are required for most courses). Perhaps you cannot work full-time, but there are volunteer positions that you can see about doing, though that does require some level of social skills. Social skills could be learned in therapy, too. I try to figure out what I am capable of learning to do that is closely related to my dreams. For instance, if you like technical stuff like theme park engineering and computers, you could visit theme parks with friends and enjoy the rides while going to conventions for engineering or computers. Conventions tend to cost money and often involve travel, but it is one way to see what the engineers or computer professionals do, and the many different jobs they have - even entry-level jobs or jobs that might be within a range you can study for at a community college for starters. My sister had to get her GED since she didn't graduate from high school, and then she went on to an online college. If you don't have your high school degree, you can always do the GED and community college route. There were some peers I had met who had social skills problems, mental illnesses, etc., and they found support on campus. There is almost always a disability access center at every college campus, and most GED courses are offered for free at community colleges, depending on where you reside. If you reside outside of the US, I'm not sure what to recommend. But your dreams can always come alive in different ways, or be changed to new dreams of today. If you're unable to work at all, or unable to attend school for the same reasons as not being able to work, that's understandable. Nonetheless, you can always visit and enjoy amusement parks, watch shows that have to do with computer science, look online for any information regarding those areas to read about, etc. You may find that in your explorations there are other dreams that are attainable for you, despite a lack of social skills or any other disabilities.

My love of music made me want to be a rock star when I was a little kid. As an adult I realized I am far too shy to do that kind of thing.

@VerMOZZica

I loved to sing when I was a child, but I, too, was shy (not the selective mutism shy, but the normative shy). Being on stage is not easy for me, and I've been on stage with a choir or receiving certain awards, but I always wanted to get off that stage and simply do things I love.

I cannot carry a tune now if I tried. My smoking made it impossible for me to maintain a second soprano or even an alto. But, I love and appreciate music.

When I was a kid, we and other kids in my family pretended we were rock stars and were auditioning for that Ed McMahon 1980s show (not sure if I spelled his name correctly). Sometimes in the shower, as an adult, I'll still pretend to sing - albeit off-tune. It's fun to pretend, even if the real dream never came true.

Prior to my smoking days, I sang in the choir in high school and, years later, at the beginning of my smoking days in my 30s, I wrote one song lyric for church and performed in the choir for Christmas. I also wrote one private song (lyrics only) with a dear friend during my late 20s, about a few years before I started smoking.

Anyway, my point is that even if we don't get our dreams, we can appreciate the things we admired in those dreams and continue to utilize them in some fun way, such as going out to Karaoke with friends, or dancing and listing to rock music with friends at a night club or concert, or attending a party with really cool music and safe friends to sing off key with, or blasting our favorite rock bands in the privacy of our homes, or listening to our favorite music on our MP3s while we are out walking, grocery shopping, traveling on the bus/train/plane, or driving (with the MP3 being plugged into the car's speakers).

My half-brothers and half-sisters are musicians, and some of their kids are, too. I admire their talents - talents I don't share, but am really glad to see in others.

Lillib, I meant I figured I better find a new profession before I got seriously hurt working with the horses. I had some bad accidents over the years and figured I better quit before I had one that croppled me.

@lizardlady Thanks for explaining, and so glad you didn't get crippled. Sorry you had bad accidents though.

Equine therapy (I only did it one day with a group of female veterans who had also experienced MST while in service) was helpful for us, but I was so afraid of falling of the therapy horses. My first horse was a mustang (my favorite now), my second horse was a Clydesdale, and my third and fourth horses that day were Quarter horses. I bonded with the mustang because it was my first horse I had groomed and then rode. The Clydesdale and I somewhat bonded when the very tall horse actually looked at me and then kneeled down so that I could brush its hair. I forget the sex/gender of the horses, so I'm using "it" instead of an identifiable gendered term. Although I rode all those horses in one day, I was afraid of falling and then causing my pelvic injuries more harm. Initially I was afraid of having my legs spread open to ride the horses, as I felt really self-conscious and uncomfortable (and sometimes still do), but the horses made me feel safe, as did the female workers who walked next to me while I learned to trot. I have a huge respect for those who can gallup on horses; I don't think I can get to that level anytime soon. Anyway, I've fallen in love with horses ever since. I'm hoping to get connected with the Vet Center to do some more horse therapy with other veterans soon; I just moved out of state, so I'll be meeting brand new people for the first time next month.

I cannot imagine what you and your husband must have went through with training horses though. One of the workers at the equine therapy place had broken his ribs trying to train a new Stallion or whatever it was called that just came in. Poor guy, but he was brave and plans on getting back on training the horses once he heals. I think he was a veteran, too. Some veterans I know are the bravest people ever! I'm one of the more wimpier veterans though, or more cautious and cognizant about my limitations - to put it another (positive) way. It's understandable that you found a new career.

Therapy as a career (and dream) sounds great! Thank you for being part of the many people who help people like me.

It sounds silly but come to think of it, I don't think I ever did have childhood dreams. My fire was snuffed out before it began to burn, so to speak. Nowadays I am working on a book series. I'm hoping to publish that eventually or at the very least, finish a rough draft by the end of the year.

@2ndLaw

I hope you get published, or finished with the first draft of your manuscript by the year's end. That sounds like an awesome dream, even if you aren't able to recall any childhood dreams.

Thank you, lillb! I also walk every day (sometimes 5-7 miles, and when Imarch in parades in my army uniform, I wear my 3 inch high heels! I always have so much energy.

Ever since I remember, I'd always wanted to be a doctor. After a long haul my dreams really did come true.

I wanted to be an actress or a teacher. Being an actress is not really realistic since I couldn't even get in to most community theater plays. And I tried teaching one summer and realized working with children is not for me. They don't see me as an authority figure.

Now I'm a technical writer, a job I didn't even know existed. But in my free time I do teach English as a Second Language to adults and Sunday school to kids.

@nicoleflynn I wish I had your energy! That's amazing!

@downandlonely

I'm sorry you didn't get into the community theater plays, and it sounds like you were on a trustworthy level with the kids that summer; maybe they didn't see you as an authority figure because you were youthful and related to them in a way that earned their trust, or maybe because children will constantly and naturally test you, or all the above. At least you tried, and that's a good thing you were able to be self-aware of your limitations and likes.

Your being a technical writer and volunteer ESL teacher sounds like great jobs that benefit our society! It also sounds like a part of your dream came true with teaching, as both jobs you hold now have those educational/training components factored into them. I volunteered as an ESL teacher/tutor, and it was hard! I got a certificate from the Literacy group (I forgot what they were called) and helped 0 to 1 level immigrant adults learn English, even though I didn't know their language. The training was really beneficial, as it taught me about cultural differences and how to teach English without knowing the foreign language of the English learner/student.