How are you feeling right now #6?

Depressed this morning

I'm feeling pretty good.

Really tired and a little headachey. Kind of bleh.

My piano teacher was going to try to do virtual lessons starting this week, we were going to Facetime - but the school he teaches at apparently told him no, he can't do that. He said we're allowed to miss two weeks without paying...

I love going to see him and playing, and I'm probably not a super high risk - but I don't think it's worth the stress to take unnecessary risks right now.

I'm kind of upset at the school. Our public schools are closed. Our courts (for jury trials) are closed. The library is closed. What the heck are they thinking? The music rooms are tiny, you're in close spaces where other students have been (the virus can survive in the air up to ~3 hours, according to the last research that I saw), plus for piano, you're obviously having multiple people touch the same surface.

Just... it's so stupid and irresponsible of them. While kids may not be high risk, they're talking about how the virus is likely being transmitted by people with no symptoms, or mild symptoms. Meaning anybody you see in public *could* be transferring the virus. And, kids can obviously take it home, infect their parents and grandparents. It's just so frustrating to me that they're not willing to err on the side of caution, given what we've seen in other countries.

Sorry for the rant. It's just so frustrating.

I just saw this huge flash outside. I thought it was lightning but I checked my phone and it’s clear outside. Whatever. I just took a melatonin so I’m feeling kind of out of it. I can hallucinate from it and do some weird **** on it.

Feeling like self quarantining is like being in self proposed locked ward.

Feeling pretty relaxed. No coronavirus yet.

- Grateful because my job allows me to work from home, makes it easier to self-isolate and not worry about becoming a vector for the virus.

- Stressed about getting sick, getting food, and getting through however long this lasts

- Worried about my brother. He's a homeless drug addict who's usually in and out of jail. He was released again a couple months ago, and planning to go to a local rehab that he had some connection with through the church he was attending. But... now his phone number is being answered by someone else, and I don't know where he's at, and haven't heard from him. I really don't want him (or anyone) trying to live on the streets during this virus outbreak, and he definitely has underlying health conditions. I worry that I haven't heard from him in awhile. If he'd gone to the rehab, I'm sure he would have found a way to reach out and let me know he was safe.

- Menstrual cramps suck. So not fun.

Depressed this afternoon

Probably just the way most people feel right now. Although I’m not really worried about getting the virus myself. Well, kind of. But I do have to go to the doctors tomorrow which is in a hospital. I think they would have called if it was an issue though.

I'm feeling a little sad and somewhat stressed.

So, I just had my check-in call with my neurofeedback guy, who I really adore and look up to. Very smart, genuinely nice guy who tries hard to be helpful.

I had been trying to plan a trip out to California to do some in-person training with his team. He had laid out an entire vision for me - yoga at the studio next door, walking on the beach, free mindfulness and drumming classes at their studio, plus training (at my normal cost, no extra costs). Since I work remotely, this was totally do-able... I just got stuck with some other life stuff, and hadn't been able to make it work yet.

Now, he's worried he may have to close the business. At least, the in-person parts of it. Most of his revenue comes from people doing in-person training, and nobody wants to come with the virus, even though they're doing what they can to minimize risk (spacing out appointments so that people are not in the waiting room together, for example).

He's not big enough to be making huge profits yet, so if he loses too much revenue, he won't be able to pay rent on the space or salaries for his employees.

I am so beyond sad. This is a really, truly *good* business that helps people. They also do some pro-bono work with military vets, I believe. He's been amazingly generous with my remote training (he even gave me a free month at one point, since we were struggling to find protocols that worked for my brain - so I wasn't seeing much progress).

He said that he'd still be around to help with remote training, but I'm still genuinely *sad* about this. And feel so... powerless.

I hate this stupid pandemic. I know that there are lots of other small businesses that are going to be impacted, that won't be able to afford keeping the doors open and are going to have to let their people go. It just sucks all around.

*tearful*

Our internet just went out for 5 minutes and our TV was acting goofy. Scary world we live in right now.

I'm feeling happy! going to try to sleep now. Have a good one!

More social because the world went anti social. I’m chatting with people on facebook I never would have normally commented to.

I feel tired. Will try to get more sleep.

Well our internet was out for almost 12 hours. And I all of a sudden need a subscription to watch a TV channel I’ve been watching for at least 8 years. Wtf is going on right now.

Mountaindewed so sorry. That sucks!

I'm tired and feeling a little unwell. Maybe breakfast will help? I want to go back to sleep, but I feel anxious now with hubby home...plus, I really am trying to keep a decent sleep and wake schedule. I screwed up the sleep part last night (worth it tho), so I feel I have to make it up with the wake time and stay up. Wish me well today!

I just came back from the doctors. I had my first testosterone shot today. The doctor was really nice. So was the nurse who gave me the shot. Neither seemed particularly worried about the virus. I thought the shot would hurt like hell but I wasn’t even sure at first she had done it because I didn’t feel a thing. Then she was all like “congratulations on your first injection.” I feel pretty good right now.

Yes, congratualtions @Mountaindewed! A new chapter in your is about to unfold.

Me, feeling like I need two more hours sleep. Other than that, no complaints as such.

Suffering from Pmdd!

This too shall pass.

Feeling Okay... can't sleep.

Mood wise I’m fine. I think I just have a cold. I don’t have a cough and my temperature is 97.1. I was nauseated all last night and then I woke up to go to the bathroom around 11 and struggled like **** to get to the bathroom. Almost passing out on the way there and on the way back. testosterone does not come risk free. Anyways I feel decent now.

Feeling mopey right now. Think it's because of the exciting dream I had about when my life had hope and a promise...ok, I mean I have that in a different way now, but back then I just felt creative and alive. Now my creativity seems to only happen in my dreams. :/

I can’t eat much of anything today. But it may very well be that I’m just getting back to my regular eating habits before my 6 week PMS episode. Plus the fact that I’m off the birth control may also be helping as well.