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#101
Mar 10, 2008, 05:53 PM
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The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
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#102
Mar 10, 2008, 05:54 PM
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
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#103
Mar 10, 2008, 05:54 PM
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Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
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#104
Mar 10, 2008, 05:54 PM
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-When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
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#105
Mar 10, 2008, 05:55 PM
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Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
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#106
Mar 10, 2008, 05:55 PM
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-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
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#107
Mar 10, 2008, 05:55 PM
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-What was going through the minds of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
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#108
Mar 10, 2008, 05:55 PM
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-Chuck Norris once showed up at Google and demanded that they rename their search engine "Chuck Norris." When they refused, Chuck roundhouse kicked Google in the face, transforming it's bruised remains into Google Dark.
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#109
Mar 10, 2008, 05:56 PM
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-Chuck Norris affects the price of stock quotes and land values. Wherever he is, prices drop due to the danger of a sudden catastrophe. He bought his own home for 30 cents and one roundhouse kick.
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#110
Mar 10, 2008, 05:56 PM
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-If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
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#111
Mar 10, 2008, 05:57 PM
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Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
__________________
Speak the truth. Seek the truth. Be the truth.
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#112
Mar 10, 2008, 05:57 PM
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-The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris cannot do: . |
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#113
Mar 10, 2008, 05:58 PM
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-If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.
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#114
Mar 10, 2008, 05:58 PM
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-Chuck Norris once taught a class called "*** Kicking 101". There were no survivors. |
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#115
Mar 10, 2008, 05:58 PM
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-Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
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#116
Mar 10, 2008, 05:59 PM
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-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. |
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#117
Mar 10, 2008, 05:59 PM
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-Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
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#118
Mar 10, 2008, 05:59 PM
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Scotty in Star Trek often says “Ye cannae change the laws of physics.” This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.
__________________
Speak the truth. Seek the truth. Be the truth.
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#119
Mar 10, 2008, 05:59 PM
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-The Big Bang was actually Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking God in the face.
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#120
Mar 10, 2008, 06:00 PM
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
__________________
Speak the truth. Seek the truth. Be the truth.
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#121
Mar 10, 2008, 06:00 PM
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-Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants. |
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#122
Mar 10, 2008, 06:00 PM
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-Chuck Norris Isn't funny, stop laughing.
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#123
Mar 10, 2008, 06:00 PM
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
__________________
Speak the truth. Seek the truth. Be the truth.
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#124
Mar 10, 2008, 06:00 PM
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-Chuck Norris has an unbeatable poker face, concealed beneath an even more unbeatable poker beard. |
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#125
Mar 10, 2008, 06:01 PM
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Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
__________________
Speak the truth. Seek the truth. Be the truth.
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