[Lexicon78]

I hate the holidays anymore. Mom isn't here anymore to make the wonderful dinners that she used to make. I am left to hold the candle in her memory. This year is the first year that I am making Thanksgiving dinner. It's my first at making anything for the holidays. I am using my mom's recipes and using the same menu my mom used, too. This is gonna be quite the year for me.

I'm really scared to even try to make anything because I'm afraid I will fail at making my mom's best recipes. I guess it wouldn't hurt to try. I just hope I do not mess up too badly, in all my grief. I miss her so much. I just wish she could be here to witness this. She could tell me everything I'm doing wrong or what else I need to do to make everything perfect. I really do need her guidance. And the only one that knows what I'm trying to do is mom, nobody else.

My dad's ex-girlfriend is gonna be there and is gonna ruin everything I have planned. It's supposed to be a year where I remember my mother, not have some woman cooking with me and ruining things. This is very special to me and I feel it is gonna be ruined because she does not use the same recipe that my mom did. That, to me, ruins it.

Nobody understands how important this thing is to me. It's not just another holiday dinner to me. It's in memory of someone very special. It's a memorial dinner to me. And everything must be perfect.

[JustBen]

Good luck with the cooking. I did my first Thanksgiving a few years ago and I was surprised at how difficult it was to cook that bird -- really wasn't accustomed to cooking anything that large. I understand why you want the dinner to go well, but I think you'll be very disappointed if you expect everything to be perfect. The one thing that seems to be true about holidays is that nothing will be perfect.

[Edgewood]

I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving! It will be difficult here and there, but maybe if you reveal your intentions for Thanksgiving, you'll gain some cooperation (shot in the dark). I tend to go with the flow, but I think the host should retain control of the recipe used.

My grandparents home was my family's central hub for holiday celebrations, but he died five years ago, and she had a stroke three years ago. Sigh. As hard as it was during the first few holidays, I found that working in a few incremental changes (mine, someone else's) into the menu helped ease the transition. I know, traditions weigh heavy on the heart.

Don't worry about perfectly replicating the dinner, I think the fact that you have her recipes and are pursuing them is the beautiful thing. Allow for some difference.

I hope it works out.