[dub_phantom]

Bit of a story here... On my 9th birthday in 1998, I moved into a new house with my family. I was sad because I was missing celebrating with my friends until a beautiful red headed girl came and knocked on the door, apparently my parents met hers and mentioned it and they told her. She introduced herself as Jenna, and told me that she didn't want me to be sad on my birthday and introduced me to 4 people who would become my best friends. It was love at first sight for me, I saw her every day after that for years. She was my first kiss the summer before seventh grade. She was the closest to me of our group, and she was so amazing and unlike everyone I ever met, she was perfect in my eyes. We started dating after sophomore year of high school. We were going to get married in May, when she finished her associate's degree. Then on January 16th 2009 I came home from work late to a quiet apartment, which was weird because both of us played music constantly. I walked in and found her lying on the ground next to the sofa, she had OD'ed. I called the hospital and tried everything but I knew she was already gone as soon as I saw her. It's been almost 3 and a half years and I still miss her every day. I have my manic periods where I feel great and my normal mood is ok but I walk around feeling a hole in my heart and a void inside of me. I see bits and pieces of her in almost everything in the world, and I still regularly have nightmares about that night. I don't think it's normal to still miss her so much that I'm often in pain, I just sit and cry sometimes I want to be with her so badly. I miss her smile, her beautiful green eyes, her laugh, everything about her. She was my soul mate and the only girl I've ever loved. I guess what I'm wondering is how am I supposed to get over this? It's worst near important dates that I can't forget, but I regularly feel like nothing here matters without her here to share it with me... I mean I saw her nearly every day for 11 and a half years, over half of my life, and barely remember life before meeting her and she's gone now. How can I be happy ever again knowing that she's gone?

[TerryL]

I walked in and found her lying on the ground next to the sofa, she had OD'ed.

I don't think it's normal to still miss her so much that I'm often in pain

,

Dear dub_phantom, I'm so sorry for your loss. Jenna's passing was not only tragic but it must also have been extremely traumatic for you as it was unexpected. So I find what you are experiencing absolutely normal and understandable. and after all, she was the love of your life. It is natural to think about her all the time. As for your grief, there really is no right or wrong way to grieve, or timetable...you feel what you feel. But it might help to talk with someone about what you are going through. Have you considered grief counseling? I'm not sure if you have insurance. If not, some therapists can counsel on a sliding scale. I know the Samaritans used to have a program like that. I hope you will consider it. My thoughts are with you.

[somuchmore]

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my brother to an overdose this past August. It's such a hard thing to deal with. If you ever need to talk you can message me.

[Open Eyes]

((dub phantom))),

Oh dear, I am so sorry that you have this loss and how "you" were the one that discovered your soul mate like this. That is a very tramatic experience. And no, we do not get over something like that in a way were we can ever forget it. Ofcourse you miss her all the time, that would be normal as well. And an OD like that doesn't mean that the person was purposely trying to harm themselves, it could just mean they were looking for a high and just took too much of something. And when that happens it is also very upsetting because often people do not truely realize the dangers that come with experimenting with drug use.

Have you gotten counceling for this loss? It is important to share your feelings and have help with this grief. It doesn't make the loss go away but it does help you slowly learn to finally accept it and think about rebuilding your life.

What you did learn from this young lady is that there are people in this world that can touch your heart in ways you may never expect. You learned how to have a relationship and grow close with someone, that is something about your time with her that will always be there as well.

One of the questions you should ask yourself is if the tables had been turned and it was you that OD'd and she had found you, if you could reach from beyond what would you tell her to do? My guess is that you would want her to live out her life and reach for her goals and even find love again someday. You would tell her that life is short and to make the most of her time in life and do her best to discover herself and enjoy her life. And if she could speak to you now, I am sure that is what she would say, in fact, that is probably what she was always saying to you from the time she came knocking on your door.

Well, I am sure that you could find your way to honor what she did for you, and do your best to continue on and even someday knocking on some other young lady's door that may also join you in your time in "life". While there will no one that will be like this friend you did have and lost, there ARE young ladies out there that can also share with you in special ways as well.

The best way we can honor someone that has spent their time in life with us and given love to us is to take that and use it to continue on for as long as we have time to do so. Because if someone did love us, that is really what they would want for us.
Please remember the good that you both shared and do your best not to just keep focusing on the loss. However, to grieve is normal and the length of time we do that is different for everyone. And no, we do not forget those that we have lost.

((Hugs))
Open Eyes

[cowboy1]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you are feeling and it is not good. I just lost my wife and soule mate on febuary 2012 and in kinda the same way you did. The only differance was is there was no pill's or other thing's involved except breathing problem's. I did everything I could as she died in my arm's she was my soul mate to. You have no reason not to feel the way you do and it will be the healing prosesse nomatter how long it take's to happen. Seeing a group or a person to talk to realy might help alot. It is hard and and you will alway's remember special person for the rest of your life. All my wishes COWBOY1.