[layla11]

My husband died completely by surprise last month. My life has been a living hell since. Now that hes gone, I'm a nervous wreck especially in the mornings and am on anxiety medication. I sometime have to take more then prescribed. I didn't think I would survive this. I cant believe he's gone, we had been married 23 years. Ive tried drinking after I get home to a empty house and it seemed to make matters worse. I would just like some prayers and get help with all the fear I have of having to do it on my own now. My tears are almost contant.

[Angelique67]

I'm so sorry for your loss. That's a terrible thing to go through. Just hang on! That's all I can advise. Just hang on.

[Blue_Bird]

So sorry for your loss layla11

[bounceback]

sorry to hear about your husband. The first few months of losing someone is usually the hardest especially with sudden loss the shock of it all. Is there a hospice you can call. They have grief groups and such that are extremely helpful plus they will meet with you and talk to you about your loss. Be gentle with yourself. Try to take care of your basic needs such as exercise, eating and grooming. Get a lot of rest. Try to avoid drugs and alcohol if you can. They have a tendency to make things worse. Also a therapist is really helpful at this point. Reach out to supportive people. Give yourself time to heal and feel whatever you need to feel. It will never be the same again. There will probably always be difficult times but it does get better. You get a new normal. Just hang in there. You will make it.
Again so sorry for your loss of your husband. I had four losses this year so I know how hard it is to lose someone.

Post here as often as you need. My prayers are with you.

[bounceback]

You don't have to have used hospice to go their meetings or reach out to them either. I forgot to tell you that.

[Bluesday]

A good friend of mine passed from cancer earlier in the year at age 43. It is very disorientating and I still can't fully comprehend he's gone. Sometimes it will feel like he's going to call and we'll babble about nothing for an hour...but of course he doesn't.

Cry the tears and feel the pain for now. Someday there will be less pain and less tears and you will make it.

[Open Eyes]

(((layla)) I am so sorry, that is just horrible, such a shock to anyone who experiences a loss, but especially such a sudden and unexpected loss like this.

It has only been a month and you are still in disbelief so it is important you seek support for this and get to talk about it with others who have also had this experience. Joining a support group is important, you need to know you are not alone and you need to be able to mourn this with others who share the same challenge.

Most people that suffer a loss like this get very lonely once the funeral is over and the dust settles. It is very important you have some therapy and support with this while you adjust and work towards accepting and learning how to move forward in your life, this is no easy task so support is a must.

(((Caring Hugs)))
OE

[Sabrina]

I'm so sorry for your loss

[shezbut]

I am so sorry, Layla.

While it has been a month, I can imagine how long this time has taken to pass. Grieving takes time. The closer that we are, the longer it takes to grieve their passing. {Sorry, not trying to bum you out.}

You are in my thoughts. Very best wishes to you!

[shelterdog71]

I am so sorry. I lost my mom 6 months ago and I still break down very often. My dad has been ok during the summer being outside with friends and neighbors, but he is terrified of being alone inside this coming winter. He was her caretaker while she was sick and I don't know how he handles being in that big house without her.

As for me I still think to myself "Oh, she's just at home and I can call her later" but then reality hits and I freak out. I take ALOT of Xanax and have to force myself not to think about her at work or out in public.

One thing that somewhat helped, which I found very odd, was handling her cremated ashes. I was about to explode from tension in the few days before I got them, worried that I would break down. But I found them strangely calming and I actually enjoyed touching them. I recently went to Las Vegas on a much needed vacation and spread her ashes everywhere. Vegas was her favorite place and my family thought it was a great idea. It made me feel really good, like she was enjoying the vacation with me.

I wish I had more advice but I don't. The situation sucks and it will never be okay.

I hope you find lots of peace and happiness!!

[Angelique67]

I wouldn't say it will never be OK although it can feel that way. It just takes a long time.

[jelly-bean]

Layla, I am so very sorry for your loss! I lost my husband last year and I know exactly how you are feeling. It is very hard and no one can really understand how you feel unless they have gone through it themselves. If you want to talk please feel free to PM me. I am very lonely myself and maybe the two of us could be of some help to each other. God Bless You and bring you comfort.

[allme]

My heart is bleeding for you, I am so sorry, wish there was more I could say but just give this time and the intensity will pass

[CANDC]

Layla, your heart felt story leads me to feel compassionate for your situation.
I think your observation that drinking makes things worse is correct. That is my experience. Drinking alcohol only leads to greater depression.
Healing takes time. Have you considered a support group or therapist? That would allow you to express your feelings but also make friends that you can talk to.

[Wish I was a cat]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband almost a year ago and it has been the hardest part of my life. I also suffer from mental illness so I don't cope well with the smallest things. The only advice I can give you is watch your alcohol intake please! I have problems with addiction and after everything was over and people stop staying with me 24/7, I went straight to the bottle. It didn't turn out well. It's so hard to not want to numb the pain. Just make sure you have plenty of support and don't be afraid to ask for help. My thoughts are with you.
Just breathe