Acceptence vs Rage

Have you shared any of your feelings with his son (your grandson)?

How does your grandson feel, now that he has a son himself?

How strange....I thot I'd posted a reply...a really long reply and it's not here. The short of it is there's a lot of baggage...

We live a long way from each other and his mother is a very controling person....We had hoped that as he grew older, he'd be able to cut the apron strings but he can't/won't/doesn't want to.......

After our son died, his ex controlled the visiting, the phone calls, the emails, and.....well you get the picture.

So I don't know how he feels...I can imagin how he feels, having a father who'd kill himself when I was only 8 years old!!!!

His other grandmother calls me occasionally to tell me of our grandson. "He's married, he's divorced, He has a new wife and she's pregnant...and finally the call...you have a new great grandson.

I sent a card with a note..."It's hard for me to believe that your dad would be a grandpa if he were alive." No response.

I sent a gift with a note...Your father would be so proud...no response.

I guess I'm not supposed to mention my son...I guess he doesn't want to hear that or talk about that or maybe his mother doesn't want him to.

Don't stop reaching out to your grandson, as hard as that will be..

It is a shame/sad that his mom is such a controlling person, but keep the communication open to your grandson.

Use the baby as a opening....maybe you could send him some baby pictures of your son with a funny story....ex. "hope your son is sleeping through the night your dad always had a problem with that..." Do that as the baby grows. Don't expect a response, there may not be for awhile. But I do think he will eventually respond.

It is hard not to be angry with your son, when what he did seems to have separated you from your grandson and now your great grandson. But please forgive him, and take this opportunity to just reach out to your grandson from one parent to another. Parenthood changes everything.

Hopefully someday you will be able to share the good times that was your son, with his son. And that anger you feel will be replaced by the love and sadness you feel at your son's death, but the hope you have for his family.

I hope that all makes sense (I am really tired). Please take care.

Danialla, you are a very kind person. Thank you.