My bio-father died about, I don't even know, I guess, about 4-5 years ago?
Anyway, to this day, I still have not mourned for him. I actually want to but I can't find it in me. Any suggestions to get in touch with anything I feel for him and the loss of him?

[EJ711]

Pickle,

Maybe it's a sign that your developed a healthy detachment from him.

Can you share more -- like how long did you live with him, or what was his relationship like with you during his lifetime?

Hugs,

EJ

[Rhapsody]

<font color="purple"> ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))) </font>

Wanted to let you know that I understand how you are feeling..... for I too wonder if I will morn the death of bio-father when it happens, for he was never really a part of my life growing up - so why should I.

... I personally feel that if I cry at all when he dies it will be for what was lost to me and not so much for him as a person.

I suggest that you look into a book I placed in the book section called:

Feelings Buried Alive Never Die
Radical Forgiveness

- both of them may be able to help you release some of the inner emotions that keeps you feeling guilty when you should not.

<font color="purple"> ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))) </font>

Thanks EJ and Rhapsody.
He abused us then abandoned us but then came back into our brother's life just to tell him that my Mom's a ***** and we're not his kids.
I guess that explains why I can't mourn for him. Still, I wish I could. He is my father. I remember him carrying me on his shoulders telling me he was going to take me to Disney land. The only other memories I have of him are bad ones.
It sounds strange but I feel like if I mourn for him then I can fully let him go.

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Pickle said:
He abused us then abandoned us

It sounds strange but I feel like if I mourn for him then I can fully let him go.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I too believe that maybe you could let go if you could just morn his death, for it is in the mourning that we find closure....... maybe try mourning for that which was lost in him / by him and not so much for him the mean person you knew him really to be.

[wickedwings]

like when you see other kids interact with their fathers and how safe they are with them. that's the kind of father you deserved, but never had. i know. my dad is my abuser and i never felt good around him. when i saw kids with their dads and having the relationship that i never had with my dad, it brings tears in my eyes, because i know i deserved to have that. just thinking of ideas in how to help with that. if it didn't, hopefully, it helps someone....