My mother passed away...

jl_234 · Nov 17, 2017, 04:44 AM

I lost my mom last year too, I'm happy to know that you are feeling better

Things are extremely difficult the first year, but I hope you kept going to university, my feelings when I lost her were the same as yours, I felt suddenly so scared about my future, I almost felt that something kicked inside my head, I had to work harder and care for myself, I'm still trying to adjust, but what I'm trying to say is that is natural to feel scared, care for yourself and keep doing what you think it was good before all of this happened, don't lose focus of what you wanted in life, perhaps right now it seems as unimportant or useless, but is not. Best wishes for you.

venom0706 · Jun 20, 2018, 02:19 AM

Thank you for all the kind replies. After almost 2 years, I feel like time is getting kinder to me and my feelings...

Graduating from university next month. She passed away right before my 2nd year started and here I am, accomplishing this when I thought about quitting after I lost her.

She would have been proud...

ohmydaisy · Jun 20, 2018, 02:28 AM

I'm so very sorry about your loss.

When my brother passed away 2 years ago, I deferred a semester to take care of my family and of all the arrangements and deal with the attorney. I don't think I would have done well if I had gone to college in another state after it all happened. It may be good to take a little break and make sure all of your school things are taken care of (talk to an advisor and explain your loss).

venom0706 · Jun 20, 2018, 04:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ohmydaisy

I'm so very sorry about your loss.

When my brother passed away 2 years ago, I deferred a semester to take care of my family and of all the arrangements and deal with the attorney. I don't think I would have done well if I had gone to college in another state after it all happened. It may be good to take a little break and make sure all of your school things are taken care of (talk to an advisor and explain your loss).

Thank you. I managed to graduate and the ceremony is next month. I even got a First Class (based on my calculations).

So I dealt with uni while dealing with mom's loss. 2nd year was the toughest as I had to deal with both my emotions and having to study hard. Third year was insanely busy, so my mind was constantly occupied with other stuff.

I am proud of making it through uni, still finishing in the Dean's list both my 2nd year and possibly this one (if I get that First Class)!

SparkySmart · Jun 20, 2018, 07:30 AM

Congratulations! I'm in awe of what you've accomplished. You should be very proud.

venom0706 · Jun 22, 2018, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SparkySmart

Congratulations! I'm in awe of what you've accomplished. You should be very proud.

Thank you for the kind words!

CANDC · Jun 29, 2018, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by venom0706

Thank you. I managed to graduate and the ceremony is next month. I even got a First Class (based on my calculations).

So I dealt with uni while dealing with mom's loss. 2nd year was the toughest as I had to deal with both my emotions and having to study hard. Third year was insanely busy, so my mind was constantly occupied with other stuff.

I am proud of making it through uni, still finishing in the Dean's list both my 2nd year and possibly this one (if I get that First Class)!

Sorry for the losses you have felt. Congratulations on graduating from uni. Some people do better shutting out activities. Others thrive and heal by being very active. Whatever way works for you is wonderful.

88Butterfly88 · Jun 30, 2018, 06:53 PM

So sorry for your loss and congratz on your graduation.

Buffy01 · Jul 04, 2018, 07:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by venom0706

I am 23 and my mother passed away a few days ago (at age of 57).

I feel simply terrible. Nothing like that had ever happened to me before. I was too young when both my grandfathers and grandmothers passed away. Learning that and having to go to the funeral was devastating for me.

And I'm starting uni again next week so I have to get my stuff together really soon. I can't postpone it due to finances being on the move. Right now, I feel terrible...

And to think that the last 2 times we spoke on Skype only for couple of minutes (we rarely spoke more than 4-5 minutes a week for the last 2 years). Last 2 calls she wanted to talk to me out of our arranged talking time (I live abroad) because she missed me and I simply ignored her. We had a very complicated family and I was being too cold to her in the last couple of years. I wish I wasn't that cold to her, she didn't deserve it...

I now feel empty.

Just wanted to share that... Thank you for the spent time.

I completely understand how you feel! These are completely normal feeling. Have you thought about finding grief quotes that are motivation for you? I just recently started using that!

Buffy01 · Jul 04, 2018, 07:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CANDC

Sorry for the losses you have felt. Congratulations on graduating from uni. Some people do better shutting out activities. Others thrive and heal by being very active. Whatever way works for you is wonderful.

I was like that myself! I completely shut down everything I had been doing before the grief hit me.

xmascarol · Jul 05, 2018, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by venom0706

I am 23 and my mother passed away a few days ago (at age of 57).

I feel simply terrible. Nothing like that had ever happened to me before. I was too young when both my grandfathers and grandmothers passed away. Learning that and having to go to the funeral was devastating for me.

And I'm starting uni again next week so I have to get my stuff together really soon. I can't postpone it due to finances being on the move. Right now, I feel terrible...

And to think that the last 2 times we spoke on Skype only for couple of minutes (we rarely spoke more than 4-5 minutes a week for the last 2 years). Last 2 calls she wanted to talk to me out of our arranged talking time (I live abroad) because she missed me and I simply ignored her. We had a very complicated family and I was being too cold to her in the last couple of years. I wish I wasn't that cold to her, she didn't deserve it...

I now feel empty.

Just wanted to share that... Thank you for the spent time.

I am so sorry for your loss I lost my mom about a month ago and I am not handling it to well.She was 91 but she wanted to die every since my dad passed away less then two years ago.She was so very sick,I couldnt even go to see her because of my anxieties,I am so depressed I cannot cope right now I dont know what do to.Some days all I do is cry .I miss her so much,I am so happy that I was at least able to tell her that I loved her before she passed away,I do understand how you feel.Hope a hug will help.

xmascarol · Jul 05, 2018, 10:06 PM

I miss my mom so much she has been gone for a month now,Not coping all to well.I dont know what to do,my anxieties and depression have become so much worse

CANDC · Jul 06, 2018, 12:42 PM

Oh xmascarol. I am sorry for your loss. Hope you get the support you are looking for at Psych Central.

xmascarol · Jul 06, 2018, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CANDC

Oh xmascarol. I am sorry for your loss. Hope you get the support you are looking for at Psych Central.

Thank you so very much tomorrow it would have been a month since her passing and not one single family member even bothered to send me a sympathy card that makes me sick and mad you know it sounds like they didnt care about my mom,my friend said the same thing,

CANDC · Jul 06, 2018, 06:39 PM

Sorry to hear your family ignored the passing of your mom. That must only make the pain worse.

Buffy01 · Jul 06, 2018, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xmascarol

I am so sorry for your loss I lost my mom about a month ago and I am not handling it to well.She was 91 but she wanted to die every since my dad passed away less then two years ago.She was so very sick,I couldnt even go to see her because of my anxieties,I am so depressed I cannot cope right now I dont know what do to.Some days all I do is cry .I miss her so much,I am so happy that I was at least able to tell her that I loved her before she passed away,I do understand how you feel.Hope a hug will help.

These are all normal feeling!

venom0706 · Aug 05, 2018, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xmascarol

I miss my mom so much she has been gone for a month now,Not coping all to well.I dont know what to do,my anxieties and depression have become so much worse

I am very sorry for your loss and you have all my best and sincere wishes for recovering!

Time will be your friend...

Buffy01 · Aug 07, 2018, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by venom0706

I am 23 and my mother passed away a few days ago (at age of 57).

I feel simply terrible. Nothing like that had ever happened to me before. I was too young when both my grandfathers and grandmothers passed away. Learning that and having to go to the funeral was devastating for me.

And I'm starting uni again next week so I have to get my stuff together really soon. I can't postpone it due to finances being on the move. Right now, I feel terrible...

And to think that the last 2 times we spoke on Skype only for couple of minutes (we rarely spoke more than 4-5 minutes a week for the last 2 years). Last 2 calls she wanted to talk to me out of our arranged talking time (I live abroad) because she missed me and I simply ignored her. We had a very complicated family and I was being too cold to her in the last couple of years. I wish I wasn't that cold to her, she didn't deserve it...

I now feel empty.

Just wanted to share that... Thank you for the spent time.

I'm sorry that you are struggling and hurting. I suffer from complicated grief.

xmascarol · Aug 14, 2018, 04:54 PM

You know it has been over two months now since my mom's passing and I am still having a hard time coping >I have her picture near me.I miss her still two weeks before she passed away she didnt want to talk to anyone including me.She was 90 had no desire to live anymore still.I am just glad the last couple of words she heard from me I love you mom.I wouldnt want her dying not knowing her daughter didnt love her

CANDC · Aug 14, 2018, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xmascarol

You know it has been over two months now since my mom's passing and I am still having a hard time coping >I have her picture near me.I miss her still two weeks before she passed away she didnt want to talk to anyone including me.She was 90 had no desire to live anymore still.I am just glad the last couple of words she heard from me I love you mom.I wouldnt want her dying not knowing her daughter didnt love her

I am sorry for the loss of your mom. It is indescribably difficult to say how grief affects us. Hope that you find a peace inside yourself as time goes on.

Deejay14 · Aug 15, 2018, 06:00 PM

Cut yourself some slack! 2 months is a very short time and grief is a process. Each journey is different. There are no time tables for this. Each day will be a tiny bit better, but at first that tiny bit better might be imperceptible. You will get to a better place, you just can't feel it everyday.

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