My dad just died a little over two months ago. He was only forty-six (I'm twenty-three). I was with him when he died -- was holding his hand, in fact. I've been noticing that its been harder and harder to deal with his death as time goes on. I've never had a death affect me like this, and I can honestly say that I never understood how deep grief can get until now.

[dexter]

I am sorry for your loss mira.

Death is a part of life, and grief is a part of death. Accept the grief for as long as you need to.

Talking about it is good. I also am glad you found us.

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--http://www.idexter.com

[darkeyes]

My deepest sympathy, I lost my beloved dad Nov 2002, I am coming along much better, but miss him very much, I am coming to grips that sadly this is a part of life, and I know soon we all will leave this earth as we age or God forbid an accident. One thing good that came of this is that I appreciate life more and I am trying to get as much time spent with those I love. . . taking and making more time to be together and make it known to them how much they mean to me, before I appreciated time with my loved ones but never felt this strong need now to let them know.
It takes time to get through this, and I know no one should ever set a time limit within themselves to say, "gee, it has been so long, and I still can't stop being sad" and you may come across people that will think or say, "C.mon get over it now". Like depression, I hate when people make such dumb remarks, thinking they are comforting us.
I know your heart is aching, I watched my dad dieing over months, in such a horrific way, it still haunts me, I do hold on to the earlier days the fun we shared and even our arguments, yes I even hold those times dear, funny, eh?
As time progresses my brothers and I try to or not even try to, we have tearful laughter remembering times with dad and even the times he use to say us kids were 3 morons, we laugh about those days, and then sometimes we cry longing for the past. I could tell you so many things about my experience but it can be lengthy, if you ever want to talk about it please feel free to PM me.
Please know my heart goes out to you, life can be so bittersweet, but we must and should carry on, hold onto the goodtimes past and present as if they were gold, they are precious, very valuable times and no one can take our memories of our loved ones away, those thoughts have helped me a great deal, I hope in time I will be able to watch old family tapes, that have him on them and not go to pieces or hear a favorite song and cry, but even if I do cry, I know that is alright, no time limits on grieving.
Please take care, and if you have an opportunity, look into grief counseling, I didn't have a chance to get to any meetings of that sort, cause shortly after dad died I had to take my sickly mom in to live with me and now that has been a great stress and leaving me hardly any time for myself and family, one good thing she may be going to here own apartment close enough for me to check on her and her meds, and of course anything else she will need.
I like you and others, never had felt real grief till I lost my dad, other family members I felt sad, but it was not as devastating as a parent.
Also I am such an animal freak I have experienced long term grief over family pets, and again you'll hear people say "it was only a dog", no one understands a breaking heart till they have been there, and I understand how you are feeling and hard it is, but time helps heal things, and that time is individual, let no one tell you when you should "snap out of it", ignore them. My damn mom said to us 3 adult kids 2 months after we buried my dad, "you kids have to get over it", can you imagine? So much understanding and comfort she was (sarcasm here towards mom) I hope you have close ones to be around that can be of a help in some sort of way.
Meanwhile you are always welcomed here, where there are lot of supportive, lovely people
And remember you can PM me anytime.

Sincerely,
DE (Rosanne)

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

[Monica1219]

I can understand how you feel. I too am 23 and my mom was murdered at the age of only 46. She died just a few days before this past Christmas. I thought I was doing 'ok' but as these days go on, I find myself getting more and more depressed. I wasn't there with he when she was killed, but I often imagine how it was for her to be there all alone, lying on the cold snowy ground. I don't think it ever gets easier, ya know? I think that you just try to remember all those wonderful memories. Even the little ones can make you smile.

[cat_eye]

I'm sorry you lost your dad. I lost mine when I was 14 (I'm seventeen now and he was fifty-two when he died) though I wasn't with him when it happened . I have some idea of what you're going through and you can IM me anytime on Trippychickx if you want to talk. I'm glad you're able to talk about it - that's a big step :-)

[shakes]

Mira,
I am so sorry for your loss and understand what you are going through. I lost my dad when I was 13 and as time went on the harder it became because I never really dealt with it. There are therapists out there that specialize in losses like the one you are going through.

Stay strong,
Jessica

<font color=blue> You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again. </font color=blue>