[Lexicon78]

I lost my mom on August 11. I still can't get over the pain. It hurts so bad--still. You'd think the pain would start to subside, but no. I hear people talk about their mothers and I just hate them for having a mother they can talk with and spend time with and fight with...all the interaction a person has with their mother. Why can't I? I want her back so badly. Cancer took her life. When will it take mine? I want to be with her in the worst way. I don't want to wait for my time. This is so unfair! I don't care that she may be watching over me or whatever people will say about her that's meant to make me feel better...it doesn't make me feel better. I want to hold her hand...walk WITH her. I am so angry with the world!

[wisewoman]

Lexicon, You have every right to be angry at the world and to grieve. Don't listen to the platitudes you are offered. Grieve in whatever way you need and don't expect it to magically get better because it's been a month. Geez, you are probably still in shock and trying to absorb it. The things that are helpful to me is to have pictures around and to have people to tell about the loved one. For example, she had the prettiest blue eyes. What was specail about your mom? What were her annoying quirks? Did she ever tell you your birth story? Dis she have a favorite color? It is all helpful stuff as we are allowed to remember and grieve.

[SweetCrusader]

A month is not a very long time for this kind of pain and grief to subside. Please try to be patient with yourself and allow yourself the grieving that you need! You have suffered a tremendous loss! I'm sorry for what you're going through. ((((hugs)))) if you want them

Angela

I miss my mom too. I'm sorry that you lost your mom to cancer. You will grieve for a long time and I find that it helps me to remember special meals that mine made, her pets, her sewing, the wedding cakes she made.......that makes me feel closer to her. Even the fights that we had, I think of those. Please continue to post here. We all care about you. pat

[Wants2Fly]

Your grieving will take as long as it takes. Please do not put limits and expectations on yourself. Have you read Elisabeth Kubler-Ross On Death and Dying? It will help you to identify the stages of grieving.

I am so sorry for you loss and your pain.

(((((((Lexicon78))))))))

[Lexicon78]

Thanks for all the replies everyone. It helps to know that there's support out there. There's always a dark hour for me and you guys are always there.

Thank you.

[darkeyes]

Hi, I am so sorry for your great loss, I lost my dad Nov.26, 2002, I miss him so much still, some days it isn't bad, my brother and I call each other on the phone sometimes we laugh about some of dad's old sayings, and then we talk about how still, our hearts break.
There are really no words that another can say to bring much comfort, but many of us can relate to this through the loss of our loved ones, and even our pets.
There have been days since I lost my dad, that it cuts my heart as if it had just happened that very day, then other days I fondly remember him, and hope some day we shall meet again . . .
Your feelings are very normal, there are no deadlines on when or when not to grieve, do not let anyone say, "oh you have to get over this", my mom being so callous (had bad marriage) hurt my brothers and me when 2 weeks after we buried dad, she said that "us kids must get over this", could you imagine? Well, I will not rag on about that, but some people lack compassion, or some just very ignorant.
There are various stages of grieveing and not all have to be in the same order, these emotions by many are unavoidable and perfectly normal, I was reassured by my pdoc and therapist that I was not feeling in anyway abnormal in regards to my saddness. It is if a person feel suicidal after losing someone dear to them, then that is something to consult with a mental health professional
about such feelings.
Some people experience emotions such as denial, anger, guilt, saddness, not everyone feels all or some of these emotions, but they are very real. I have read different things on this mental process, and have found them useful in convincing myself I am normal, cause there are points that some of us feel like we are losing our minds or however one may like to put it.
Please feel free to come to our forums, there are many wonderful people that are so supportive in many ways
Grieving is different to many, I think having so many years spent together (not that time is key) sharing times, good and bad. . . the memories, like photographs in our minds make losing someone (at least for me) more difficult, but I think this is something universal and memories sometimes can bring one comfort, mine do and then sometimes they make me cry, knowing that dad isn't here with us.
Please take care of yourself, even seek counseling if you feel you'd like to, there is nothing wrong with that, it can help.

Sincerely,
DE

Sorry for this long reply

[snowflake_48888]

I lost my mom to cancer 5 yrs ago. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her. There are times I think about calling her, then remember that I can't....I MISS HER!! Sometimes mom comes to me in dreams, especially when i have had an awful time with something. It doesn't happen often, but the comfort I feel is overwhelming when it happens. Please do know that as time passes, the sadness lessons and the good memories are greater. It is a terrible loss for you and anyone that loses their mother..........my thoughts are with you .........(((((((((((Lexicon))))))))))))

[SweetCrusader]

((((((((((((lexi)))))))))))))))))

just poppin' in to give you some more hugs Angela

[NicoleB]

((((((((((Lexi))))))))))))))))

Thought you might need a hug