RIP...

<font color="purple">Well, I eard this from my brother literaly just a few minute ago and if it's not true then I'll be mad that people would lie to eachother like that but he said that he was completely serious about it so...

Apparently, a boy in my grade killed himself, don't know why or how yet. I used to be friends with him a few years ago, but we grew farther appart as we got older because we both went off in different dirrections in personality.

I'm not too sad, after all, I didn't know him THAT well, and death doesn't have that big of an impact on me. But, it's still very sad news to hear and I miss him already...

Rest In Piece </font>

awww(((((Kaika ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I am so sorry for your loss of a friend
any passing is hard
my thoughts are with you
muffy

<font color="purple">Thanks Muffy. If the news is true then I'll probably hear about it tomarrow. I go to a small school so alot of people knew him. </font>

((((((((((Kaika )))))))))))))))))))))))
it will be a hard day for you
I will think about you
may you all find some kind of peace in being with each other at school
I am so sorry

<font color="purple"> Well the scource of the information was from one of the ladies who works at the office (and was related to the girl who told my brother) who was told by the principal. So yeah, it's pretty official now.

It's sad news and all, but I'm not too terribly impacted by this. I guess I'm just the kind of person that death of other people doesn't have that much of an effect on initialy. Probably give it a year or two before I'll start becoming sad. I can think of a few people who would be devastated though...

I say we (as in the entire Junior class) should go to his funeral.
I don't think it will be too hard to convince people to go if it's a public service.</font>

(((Kaika)))

So very sorry

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Probably give it a year or two before I'll start becoming sad.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Kaika, why do you think this? I am sorry to hear about the death of anyone, but that you wanted to post about it tells me you need something from the discussion. Do you find yourself having delayed reactions to things like this? Is it that you go numb during the process at the time, and later, when depressed it returns to your thoughts and makes you sadder?

I hope it won't. I hope you won't allow the past to affect you so severely. Keep good thoughts for yourself. You don't have to go to the funeral if you don't want to, or need to grieve. It's ok.

<font color="purple">Not really, when it comes to the subject of death, it's more like I'm sad for a few seconds and then well, nothing. (which is why I think my brain is saving it for another date) it's not really how most people grieve which is kind of upsetting because it feels like if I don't mourn for several days that I don't care about the person who died.

Infact, the only time I've even cried when somone died was when my grandpa died, and that was back when I was a (little) kid. </font>

My condonences are offered

<font color="purple">This is a direct copy-paste from my journal.

[x] Bus ride there/Before first Period: I heard a few people taliing about it on the bus, but I concentrated on Kenny, and pretty much showedhim the cool Gym puzzles on Pearl version. (keep the day normal ou know?) when I arrived all bight and shining, it was DEAD silent. No, seriously, NOBODY was talking at all, just tears and hugs. Everyone was kind of slow getting to their first period class, or even you know, moving. Then of course, I saw the TEACHERS crying too. I gave Ms. Bieber (chemistry teacher) a hug because she just heard about it that morning and looked like a wrek. I felt a little bad because I'm the kind of person who deals with something like death rediculously well and was probably (one of) the only people in the building who WASN'T crying or in some kind of pit of depression. I almost cried though because on the announcements they had a moment of silence for him on the announcements and one of the other kids in the hall burst into tears.

[x] First Period: (Gym) This is probably the first, and only gym class that i've ever had that was still DEAD silent. No one shouting, or even talking, just pretty much kicking the ball and run in circles. Even the kids who scream and shout and throw the ball at 90 miles per hour were just throwing the ball at 40 miles per hour and kept their mouth shut. I swear it was surreal. But I did score for once and even got someone out, so it was actualy not that bad for me.

[x] Period 2: (English) Oh god, this period consisted of getting vocab words, writing an entry in your journal and then...nothing. People just kind of sat there. I didn't really do anything either, except staring behind me at my friends to make sure they were okay, I didn't really feel like doing anything- even doing something that I liked like random doodles (don't you just hate it when you get that kind of depression? Like when you feel like utter %#@&#! and don't feel like doing anything?)

[x] Period 3: (Spanish) We actualy talked a bit in this class, apparently, Tim wasn't the only person who died this weekend. One of the kid's mom in the writers guild in the middle school died on their feildtrip. So now we have a crisis going on in BOTH schools. Oh, and she told the story about the girl who died on her way to school by crashing into a snowplow for like the 50th time this year. In any case, while it was pleasent to actualy talk (man the silence in unbearable) it wasn't exactly pleasent conversation.

[x] Period 4: (Math) I think it was this period that actualy started the uplifting portion of my day. Mr.Rounds gave us the review sheet to work on, which we (all 4 students that showed up) did because believe it or not, I'd actualy like to do some work. While we we working we had some small talk too. In any case, I got my review sheet done for the week so I don't have to worry about it anymore. At the end of the period Hannah and I ranted about how much "The Great Gatsby" really wasn't that great (infact, I really hate the book, WHY is it a classic again?) which really cheered me up.

[x] Period 5: (lunch) Cassies drew a giant squid, I drew chibi's, we ate, it was FUN.

[x] Period 6: (Chemistry) Marie and I were the ONLY students in the class, so we talked with Ms.Bieber about ots of things while we did a worksheet that we owed her (Marie lost it, I just plain didn't do it) unlike spanish, the conversations were you know...NOT moodkillers? I like how laid back and nice it was.

[x] Period 7: (study hall) we had no homework so I hung out with marie, we did have a lovely convo:

Me: You know, I look at my baby cousins, and I say to myself "I don't want the world to currupt them"
Marie: Yeah...
Me: I mean, just look at the 3rd graders
Marie: Yeah, I know
Me: No, seriously, they act like miniature adults and I know it's not a new trend either
Marie: Well, we all had to grow up fast, none of us have ever had a real childhood.

[x] Period 8: (art) after I finished prepping fior the next project, I decided to prune some of Mr. Kings plants (I almost gave myself splinters in doing so!) because I literaly had NOTHING else to do...oh, and I like grooming plants.

[x] Period 9: (US History) Ah, the hilight of my day. Mr.Swanson decided we should all go for a walk so we went to that waterfall by the school (I threw chunks of snow in the water and watched it float around) and then we walked over to the beach. It was really nice to get outside, really undescibeable. </font>

I really hope things get better for you soon.

((((((Kaika))))))

(((Kaika)))

Know I am thinking of you and please feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

death is part of life some day we our selfs will experience it hopefully we have by then all lived a happy life death of another is never easy i hide my tears inside like a coward i have been to many funerals in my family alone most people would cry and hug each other i hide my tears i guess cuz i am afraid to show emotion sometimes i am sorry that everyday some one lose's a loved one or a close friend it is very difficult some of us dont know how to deal with it i hope your friend will not b forgotten r.i.p